So many questions...

[pentecostalgirl0414]

I am not really sure where to start. Um... this is really hard for me to write so it may sound a little bit jumbled.

I was sexually abused when I was little by a babysitters husband. It lasted for two years. Then, I was sexually abused by my uncle for 3 years. I never told anyone. Well, 2 years ago, I finally got up enough nerve to try to bring the subject up. It finally slipped out that my uncle had abused me and so had the babysitters husband. Well, she called child protective services and the police. I had to talk to a lady from child protective services (also known as DFCS where I live) and a detective from the police department. Well, I was not able to talk about it to the DFCS lady. I just could not open my mouth and begin to tell her all of the things that had happened to me. She told me that that was not uncommon and she would come back another time. Well, I still had to talk to the police detective. When I got there, she began talking to me like I was a criminal. She started asking my questions that I wanted to answer but I couldn't. I don't know if anyone else has felt like that. I just started to cry and she told me that since I would not tell her what happened she had to assume that I was making all of this up for attention. That made me feel like I was an inch tall. I don't know if anyone has ever went through this before.

I still cannot talk about what happened to me. The doctor diagnosed me with PTSD. I am having flashbacks and nightmares about what happened to me. Does anyone else have those. The sometimes seem like they are real. I am not going to post any details because I don't want to trigger anyone. I know that I need to deal with this but I don't know how. I am still seeing a counselor but I do not know how to bring it up and how to actually talk about it. Am I making any sense. Can anyone offer me an advice please.
Blessings to all,
Kim

 

[BlessedMommy05]

I know the feeling, I had a hard time in the beginnig to talk about sexual abuse to, and any time I would go to a person I trusted they didnt really help me in any fashion or do much to help but pray and pray with me.. About 3yrs ago I was diagnosed as PTSD and its been a real eye opener and its been hard because I do stress and yes having flashbacks and memories are hard to deal with.. I would suggest going slow with your counselor and maybe share small bits of information that will maybe help you open up more.. Just small things and beware when shareing information about such trama well at least for me caused headaches and real bad ones.. Its all related to the past and it affects me physically.. Just a precaution and a lil advice.. I pray you can find a way to keep talking to your counselor and work through..

 

[pentecostalgirl0414]

I know the feeling, I had a hard time in the beginnig to talk about sexual abuse to, and any time I would go to a person I trusted they didnt really help me in any fashion or do much to help but pray and pray with me.. About 3yrs ago I was diagnosed as PTSD and its been a real eye opener and its been hard because I do stress and yes having flashbacks and memories are hard to deal with.. I would suggest going slow with your counselor and maybe share small bits of information that will maybe help you open up more.. Just small things and beware when shareing information about such trama well at least for me caused headaches and real bad ones.. Its all related to the past and it affects me physically.. Just a precaution and a lil advice.. I pray you can find a way to keep talking to your counselor and work through..

Thank you so much for the advice. I am going to try to talk about it. I know what you are saying about it causing physical as well as mental problems. Whenever I even try to talk about what happened, I almost throw up. Wish me luck. I go back to see her the 18th.

 

[Surviving]

Hell there! Just to let you know that I have a fair idea of what you are going through, what you have been through and what you must be feeling at the moment.

Firstly, let me say welcome to the forum. It's nice to see you around here, and I'm sure that you will make many friends as you go through your journey.

I was also sexually abused for 4 years when I was younger (between the ages of 7 and 11) by my baby sitter, and earlier than that when I was 2 years old by a man that I don't remember knowing.

If you want to PM me anytime to have a chat, you know where I am.

 

[Bianca01]

Hi,

You are making complete sense. I believe you and can identify with the flashbacks and nightmares.

I recently started therapy again. One thing that helped me share my experience was typing it out. Then I read it to my therapist. You may still have a hard time reading it, but, it will help you keep focused.

I am so angered at that police detective. She should be trained in this. Please tell your counselor and the DFCS lady about your treatment from this police detective. This person needs to be educated immediately. That isn't right because she is adding to your pain with her disbelief. Perhaps your therapist or the DFCS lady will sit with you while you read your statement to the police detective. You deserve protection.

Please continue reaching out and get all the support you need.

Take care.

 

[pentecostalgirl0414]

Hi,

You are making complete sense. I believe you and can identify with the flashbacks and nightmares.

I recently started therapy again. One thing that helped me share my experience was typing it out. Then I read it to my therapist. You may still have a hard time reading it, but, it will help you keep focused.

I am so angered at that police detective. She should be trained in this. Please tell your counselor and the DFCS lady about your treatment from this police detective. This person needs to be educated immediately. That isn't right because she is adding to your pain with her disbelief. Perhaps your therapist or the DFCS lady will sit with you while you read your statement to the police detective. You deserve protection.

Please continue reaching out and get all the support you need.

Take care.

Thanks for all of the replies.

It has been about a year since I had the meeting with the DFCS worker and the police detective. Because the police detective did not believe me, she told us she would not continue the case and the DFCS worker closed the case because I couldn't talk about it. So, nothing was done about it. I really am going to try to talk to my counselor about what happened. I think I will try writing it down. Thanks for all the replies and support! I will let you know how it goes.

 

[BlessedMommy05]

Definatly good luck! I know its hard and alot of times you have to feel out to see if they are going to help you instead of going "yeah" or some statement like they understand.. Let me know how it goes..

 

[Surviving]

I know that I have written earlier, but I wanted to write a little bit more to you. I ran out of time the other night.

What you experienced when you were interviewed is very normal. I remember very vividly being interviewed after I told my mum what happened. I was being asked alsorts of questions and given a doll to demonstrate what happened...but I couldn't. I was just so scared of what was going to happen. I was also embarrased aswell about what had happened to me. Also, the lady that was asking questions wasn't exactly the friendliest person on the earth!

As for the counseling, being unable to speak in this is very normal as well. I have been going to counseling for about six months now and I go once a week, and I still find it hard to talk about what was done to me. Don't give up though. It's a long process but you will get there in the end.

Take care.

 

[pentecostalgirl0414]

I went back to see my therapist about a week or so ago. I tried to bring it up and it didn't work that well.. I finally brought it up.. But she said that we would have to talk about it next time because I ran out of time. I am scared that I am not going to be able to bring it back up again. I was thinking about writing her a note but I know in the end that I am going to have to talk about it sooner or later. Any advice on how to bring it up again?

 

[CarleneB]

I was sexually abused and raped at age 14 and then drugged and molested in March. I see a t from the rape crisis center.

I don't know how to bring it up, b/c my t did that for me. But before the appointment I found it easier to write out my entire story in a journal and read it out loud. So when I went in, I was prepared to tell the entire thing because I had already conquered the whole thing already.

Hope that helps.

--- Carlene

 

[Surviving]

I went back to see my therapist about a week or so ago. I tried to bring it up and it didn't work that well.. I finally brought it up.. But she said that we would have to talk about it next time because I ran out of time. I am scared that I am not going to be able to bring it back up again. I was thinking about writing her a note but I know in the end that I am going to have to talk about it sooner or later. Any advice on how to bring it up again?

If you find that writing something down is easier, then do it. When I always find it difficult to talk about something, I find it alot easier to write my thoughts and feelings down. I then show it to my coucelor when I have a session. Then we talk about what I have written. I find this alot easier. And, you only have to show her what you want her to see.

 

[Johnnz]

Getting started is really hard. Then, lots can suddenly come back, and that's real hard too. Making some notes can be useful. Then, give them to your therapist which will allow questions. That may get you going.

Abused people often need to develop trust with someone before they can talk, and trust takes time to develop. Having good friends or support is great too when some of the emotion kicks in. But stay within what you can safely handle. That can still be painful, but too much pain all at once can be overwhelming.

And remember, God will never blame you for what happened.

John
NZ

 

[pentecostalgirl0414]

I just wanted to give everyone a quick update. I went and saw my counselor yesterday. I wrote her a note and gave it to her at the end of the previous session. She gave me the note back (I had touched a little on what happened to me) and she had written responses back. She and I decided that things that I was not comfortable discussing yet, I could write down and then we could either talk about it or she would write back. I go see her again in 2 weeks, so I am going to try to write another letter. Thanks to everyone who has given me advice!

 

[rocklife]

I hope that not all police officers treat people like criminals who are not. that was not right, and we believe you, even if some others are so insensitive to you, I hope all is well and things get better

 

[Surviving]

I just wanted to give everyone a quick update. I went and saw my counselor yesterday. I wrote her a note and gave it to her at the end of the previous session. She gave me the note back (I had touched a little on what happened to me) and she had written responses back. She and I decided that things that I was not comfortable discussing yet, I could write down and then we could either talk about it or she would write back. I go see her again in 2 weeks, so I am going to try to write another letter. Thanks to everyone who has given me advice!

This is great news. Well done for making this step...it was a hard one to take, but you are brave in doing it. Well done! Keep us posted on how you get on.

 

[raganbogan]

Your start with counseling is good. It is essential. But it takes more to help yourself heal. God wants you to heal. This is demonstrated in everything about how our bodies work (to heal wounds) and how Jesus operated (healing the blind, the lame, and even raising the dead). If you search on "Healing is a Choice" you will find a Christian organization called New Life Ministries dedicated to helping heal deep wounds such as yours. You can listen to their radio show on XM and Sirius radio, or some Christian stations, plus some can be listened to from their web site. Check it out.