So little in common

[Salsa_1960]

I'm now a single mom and my dd, Amy, (age 9) and I have so few similar interests.

She likes to play with dolls and play house. I was a tomboy.

She wants to do some rough tough stuff too. Like wrestle. (I did as a kid, but I'm in my 40s now).

Her father left in February of 2002. Her older sister (21 months her senior) died in September 2002. We placed her younger sister (18 months her junior who is autistic and profoundly mentally retarded) in a group home (over an hour away) last January. It's like she wants me to take their place. I can't.

I would like to do things with her. I suggested playing some games with her last night. (Like Chutes and Ladders). She likes the game so it's not like it's too babyish for her-- but it was like pulling teeth to get her to join in. Arrrrrrggggghhhhh.

When the weather is nice, we can atleast ride bikes and go for walks. I'm unable to drive (my health) and money is super tight, so that cuts down on a lot of activities.

IDEAS???

~Sandy

P.S. We both are seeing a counselor.

 

[mamaneenie]

I would say that having 2 sisters around to play, and then within a year, having none around has probably really thrown her off balance or something. I have a 23mth old boy, so have no experiencing in parenting 9 year old girls. I do know that all kids are different. I'm sure that if she wanted to play dolls with you, you could give it a go. It might feel funny but it's your child, go for it.

I understand about money being tight, so that makes it hard. Is there enough room in the budget for a sleepover with one of her friends, this would give her someone to play with. You wouldn't have to feed them anything expensive, perhaps home-made popcorn and pancakes or something similar, at nine the girls should be able to help you make them.

I wish I could be more help here, but as I said, I only have a toddler boy.

 

[LadySaint]

Walk together good exercise and talk too.

Go to the library & checkout books and read together & discuss what you have read.

Have a girl's night where you watch chick movies and of course have popcorn.

Have a fun night where you fix each others hair, paint the nails, do facials etc...My daughter always like this and still does.

Go to the mall and check out new stores, new items see what interest her.

puzzles are a good thing.

 

[Risen Tree]

sandin, just a thought...have you ever entertained the thought of remarrying?

 

[Salsa_1960]

Yes-- and because of the circumstances (adultery), I don't find that to be a problem, except that the divorce isn't yet final. (Slight technicality).

I'm not searching, yet. (Even when it's final-- and the divorce is only a matter of signing some agreements at this point). I'm still trying to "get my act together" before starting out again. (Don't want to bring in any old baggage into a new relationship). I also don't want to be searching too hard. Too easy to grab whatever's out there if you do.

I guess I might have problems though, with remarriage if he was divorced and I felt like it would be adulterous on his part. (Would depend on his circumstances too). Not too many single men (never married) out there that are in their 40s. If there's someone out there for me, God knows my address. He's the master wedding planner.

 

[Risen Tree]

Oh, so the divorce isn't official...yet.

I am assuming that he has no chance of deciding to salvage what is left?

 

[Salsa_1960]

No. There is nothing left. He is living with another woman. He has been for almost 2 years. He doesn't even talk to me.

 

[Risen Tree]

Wow.

...

Wow.

Does your (surviving) daughter understand what's going on?

 

[Salsa_1960]

Yes, but she's confused.

I started posting my journal just tonight: http://www.christianforums.com/t67839

 

[Risen Tree]

You poor thing, you're life is spinning out of control. That is, if there's any portion of your life intact enough to spin.

I have no clue how I would have reacted if I lost my one and only brother, especially while growing up. Reading your journal entries about your surviving daughter's reaction to the loss of her sister just about crushed me. And I saw her on your website...oh she was so cute.

Man, if I were your husband, the loss of your daughter would have been the very event to bring me back home.

You just want the nightmare to end, don't you?

 

[Etharia]

Does your daughter like crafts? There are tons of inexpensive crafts that you can do with just paper/construction paper and glue. And with the holidays coming up, that gives you more crafts too.

What about cooking? She could help you to make dinner.

 

[Salsa_1960]

Amy has kept me going.

 

[Risen Tree]

Awww....

Hey, what kind of support groups are you in, if any?

 

[Salsa_1960]

My church has had a "Grief Share" group in the past. I think they are going to start up another session in January. The leader was ill for quite a while and so we've not had meetings since last Winter or Spring. That's about it.

 

[Salsa_1960]

Does your daughter like crafts? There are tons of inexpensive crafts that you can do with just paper/construction paper and glue. And with the holidays coming up, that gives you more crafts too.

What about cooking? She could help you to make dinner.

I do enjoy crafts. That's a good idea. They sure are messy though. (Here is some of my calligraphy on my website: http://www.geocities.com/sandymeyers/calligraphy_1.html ). Maybe I could do some calligraphy and she could decoupage it onto a peace of wood with a picture to go with it that she finds from a magazine or prints off the internet).

Don't know how expensive that gets. Is the wood and paste pretty cheap?

 

[Etharia]

Some woods are fairly cheap, it really depends on the wood that you want. I know that some lumberyards and construction sites will give away junk or scrap wood for free or very little. I don’t believe the paste is that expensive, but I have never bought any.

 

[Salsa_1960]

THX. We'll have to give it a try.

 

[Etharia]

These glues were recommened for decoupage and you can get them at Micael's craft store and probably any other craft store. Mod Podge Gloss and Mod Podge Mat decoupage glue, Elmer’s Paper Craft Gel Glue, and Plaid’s Royal Coat Decoupage Glue

 

[Salsa_1960]

Well, I'm pretty much limited to KMart. (I live in a small town).


Right handed???

 

[Etharia]

I'm pretty sure you can get Elmer’s Paper Craft Gel Glue at KMart. And, you should be able to ask someone in the craft department if the have any apropriate glue.


And yes, right-handed.