So, how is God using this?

[Bobby64]

You're probably familiar with this verse:
“’And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
Romans 8:28 (NIV 1984)

In it, Paul is saying that God is capable of using everything for good as long as we love God.

After being depressed for over two and a half years, I'm just having trouble absorbing this message. I've been happy only in random bursts, I've grown apathetic to other people, my faith is now flimsy, I can't hold a steady job (let alone the one I dreamed of), and I could go on with more. I'm trying to tackle these issues, but to no avail.

How is good supposed to come out of that? And why isn't God letting me know what that good could be? Back in the times of the OT, he was pretty generous with revealing, symbolic dreams, but I don't feel like I'm getting any clearer on the situation, no matter how much treatment I pursue, no matter how much I talk about it.

Does anyone else feel this way?



Going to bed for tonight... tired and obviously struggling.

 

[GreatSpeckledBird]

i couldn't see how good was going to come out of the excruciating painful emotional and mental suffering i went through but today i'm beginning to sort of see it. I think he's purifying me to get me into total trust in Him, a purifying of my faith. To not trust in myself, in others or in any other thing but realize even my breath is dependent on whether He provides it or not.

I realized from the moment I was conceived & before, He had my life in His hands and all this time I thought I had some control over it! LOL. NO!!! We are totally dependent and that's a wonderful place to rest and it's the thing we hate because we want to do it ourselves, like any other 3 year old. Jesus is Lord and I am not.

 

[InVinoVeritas]

I feel like i've been pulled out from friends and family into a desert as well and i'm certain its in order to refine my reliance on Him and get to know Him and Love Him. I'm not lonely at all because God feels very close and its lovely. I have had frightening, lonely, wilderness times before though.

Jesus is Lord Amen and the battle belongs to Him.

Hes changing me, its been painful at times but its all good.

Peace n Love to you x

 

[Spunkn]

You often won't see the good that comes out of bad situations until much later. While you are going through a valley, all you can see is the darkness.

Went through depression for around 15 years, it was very hard to hold on at times.

But God does have a purpose for you, and He will get you through it if you let Him.

 

[Criada]

I agree with what others have said - it can be very hard to see what God's doing when you're in the midst of it, but he does have a plan, and it is, ultimately, good.
He has used some of the most terrible experiences of my life to good, enabling me to understand and help others, and even to get a job which I love.

Praying that you will see his hand in all theat happens, and know his overwhelming love for you

 

[Purge187]

Wisdom abound in the replies.

I struggled with depression for a long time myself, but I found that it dispersed like a fog and my life got better as I drew closer to God. The whole "darkest before dawn" thing rings very true. Don't give up.

 

[Jeshu]

For years I felt that God had left me and was leaving me laying on the dung heap.

However my suffering brought me closer to Him than ever before when I realised that in suffering we find God at His best - just look at Jesus on the cross - once I understood that God reveals Himself through suffering my faith to a turn for the better and I have grown in my faith, love and hope to such an extend that I have walked away from my deepest depression and I'm beginning to get back on my feet again.

In retrospect suffering has made me a better person as I have found so much depth and meaning to life now.

So please be of good courage your suffering will be turned to good in The End, it is just letting go of the old ways and embracing the new ways that is so hard.

 

[Bobby64]

Thanks for the interesting responses, everyone.

You often won't see the good that comes out of bad situations until much later. While you are going through a valley, all you can see is the darkness.

Went through depression for around 15 years, it was very hard to hold on at times.

So, how would you say your life is better now thanks to that experience of depression and overcoming it?

I realized from the moment I was conceived & before, He had my life in His hands and all this time I thought I had some control over it! LOL. NO!!! We are totally dependent and that's a wonderful place to rest and it's the thing we hate because we want to do it ourselves, like any other 3 year old. Jesus is Lord and I am not.

It's sometimes tempting to think there's nothing I can do about my depression, so I might as well just do anything non-sinful that comforts me in the short term. Sometimes I feel like God + my medicine is all I can rely on. Just not sure about the idea of giving up all control.

I'm not suicidal. But I do sometimes feel like I'm just hanging on for the sake of holding on.

On a somewhat different note, I sometimes find it hard to pray when my faith is so flimsy. If I never pray, well, that can't be good. But then I get verses like this looking at me:
James 1:6-8
Contemporary English Version (CEV)
But when you ask for something, you must have faith and not doubt. Anyone who doubts is like an ocean wave tossed around in a storm. If you are that kind of person, you can’t make up your mind, and you surely can’t be trusted. So don’t expect the Lord to give you anything at all.

I mean, it sounds like I need to pray for my faith to improve, but it seems like I need faith for my prayers to matter.



Thanks for input, everyone. It means a lot.

 

[Spunkn]

So, how would you say your life is better now thanks to that experience of depression and overcoming it?

My relationship with God means a whole lot more to me than it would have if I had not gone through depression. If life is easy, we forget about God and think that we can do everything on our own.

Having gone through depression, it really makes you appreciate God more and know that we are truly dependant on Him. It forced me to come to a place of surrender. I tried for years to fix things on my own and it never worked. It's only through God's miraculous power that I was able to get through it.

So along with that comes another bonus. I have my own proof that God exists. Because if He didn't I would not be here. I look back through my depression now and see time after time where God was taking care of me, and getting me through through the bad times, even though I could not see it at the time. I can see that now because I am no longer blinded by the pain. When you're depressed all you can see is the pain, but after you find healing you can see the bigger picture.

It has given me a great deal more compassion, and patience towards other people who are suffering. It's given power to my testimony and I can use that for God's glory. It helps me relate to those who are going through similar things and even those who are not. Everyone suffers in some ways in this life.

 

[Bobby64]

Hmm... That would be nice. I mean, I've known for years that I'm never getting out of depression unless something miraculous happens, but it still persists. I've long known I've dependent on God: looking back at my younger pre-Christian self and the transformation I've undergone since then affirms that.

And in my case, my depression has actually made me more apathetic to people's suffering, less loving of others and of God in general. I suppose it's hard to imagine God sitting back and saying, "It's all going according to my plan! " After all, he could end my depression this very moment without even the slightest bit of effort at all.

And I often discussed my doubts with a so-called Christian counselor I'd been seeing for months. She once said that, if I was having so many doubts, maybe I should embrace the "true path of my spiritual journey" and call myself an atheist rather than try to shoehorn myself into Christian beliefs. Needless to say, she was a waste of time and money that ultimately just made me worse. She claimed that she didn't know any psychologists more spiritual than her, so she couldn't do anything for me.

It has made me think, though. In Romans 8:28 (NIV 1984), it says, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Maybe I just don't really love him?

But it's kind of hard to love in the middle of depression, where all the chemicals in your brain are going against love. So I just don't know.

I've sometimes wondered if it would be a good idea to get myself off all the medication I'm taking now and just let God do what he wants. It sounds like a good idea on paper, but backing off on my medicine before has had terrible results. It's not doing much, but I'm a complete and utter mess without it.

Just don't know what to do. Sit and wait for God to finally treat me?

But venting here has helped some. If you read this, thanks.

 

[Spunkn]

Does the medication seem to help? For me it made a world of difference. But if it's not doing much good, perhaps you need to seek out a different one.

Depression is often difficult to understand and treat because it can be caused by any number of things.

Events in life, genetics, spiritual warfare etc. So before we can know how to actually deal with it, we have to kind of find out what's causing it in the first place.

 

[Bobby64]

Does the medication seem to help? For me it made a world of difference. But if it's not doing much good, perhaps you need to seek out a different one.

Depression is often difficult to understand and treat because it can be caused by any number of things.

Events in life, genetics, spiritual warfare etc. So before we can know how to actually deal with it, we have to kind of find out what's causing it in the first place.

My depression came on mostly chemically. Even after getting tough stuff in my life figured out, it still persists.

And, yep, my doctor and I are trying many different medicines. We give each one a month or two to see how it does. Some seem to work for a few months before lopping off, others tear me to shreds in days. We're on medication 15 right now.

I frequently pray to God that, if a demon's holding me back, then please rebuke it.

 

[Jeshu]

My depression came on mostly chemically. Even after getting tough stuff in my life figured out, it still persists.

And, yep, my doctor and I are trying many different medicines. We give each one a month or two to see how it does. Some seem to work for a few months before lopping off, others tear me to shreds in days. We're on medication 15 right now.

I frequently pray to God that, if a demon's holding me back, then please rebuke it.

I went through almost all the known medications over an eight year spell without finding much relief. However it occurred to me - in retrospect - that the doctors always upped the medication to the maximum and that my depression seemed to be at its worst then as well.

In the end I refused to take much medications and started to experiment with much lower dosage of both mood stabiliser as well as anti-psychotics, this has paid off now and I'm doing a lot better, though I still get times of depression I now seem to cycle out of it again as well.

I think that rebuilding my psyche has helped me the most though. Though it took me years, when I released my anger, fear and hopelessness to God I found that love, faith and hope are very useful in fighting depression.

Where
1) I fought the lies of depression - stop believing my own depressive thoughts and feelings.
2) Learning to see that evil spirits can't cause depression when you are close to Christ.
3) Praising Jesus even when I felt lowest and waiting for Good Life to come back into view again.
4) Taking comfort from God's promises even when they weren’t true yet for me personally.
5) Surrounding myself with God's love, especially the Psalms and Nature were helpful here.
6) Stop blaming God, myself or others for my depression. Where I was forced to deal with my anger.
7) Hating Satan for causing so much misery to be around on this planet.
8) Finding God in both good and bad times. Coming to the realisation that God suffers evil as well and finding Him in my suffering.


Psalm 121 Sons of Korah Song - YouTube

 

[GreatSpeckledBird]

Where
1) I fought the lies of depression - stop believing my own depressive thoughts and feelings.
2) Learning to see that evil spirits can't cause depression when you are close to Christ.
3) Praising Jesus even when I felt lowest and waiting for Good Life to come back into view again.
4) Taking comfort from God's promises even when they weren’t true yet for me personally.
5) Surrounding myself with God's love, especially the Psalms and Nature were helpful here.
6) Stop blaming God, myself or others for my depression. Where I was forced to deal with my anger.
7) Hating Satan for causing so much misery to be around on this planet.
8) Finding God in both good and bad times. Coming to the realisation that God suffers evil as well

When I vowed to God I wouldn't harm myself its like the issue was resolved and I understand its my responsibility to fight, hand in hand with Jesus, this darkness that wants to destroy me. Thank you for sharing your positive steps of resistance.