So Far Away

[Broken Hearted]

Im just so so far gone. Holding on to what little Faith I have left. I never thought I would ever lose Faith. I can barely pray for myself or anyone else anymore. Thoughts just flood my head. Just wanting to seclude myself from this world and everyone and everything in it. I still believe in God and holding to Faith that I can be healed from all this but its running empty or so it feels like it at the moment. I just cant find hope in anything anymore or peace with things. I cant forgive myself I cant even love myself no matter how much I try. Its like my life is this dark empty place anymore. Like how can God Love Me anymore. Im ashamed of this. And this is actually on day 2 of being sober and I still feel like this. No matter how much I pray or people tell me they pray for me I still feel like its worthless right now. Like why waste the time anymore on me. Its no point in it. I just really never ever felt this way before like Im so far from God and it scares me to death. Why cant I feel loved anymore. I feel so alone in this world with nothing to live for anymore. The hope of life just aint there for me no more. I feel people just look at me like a failure like Im nothing anymore but someone who cant be happy that turns to bad things to cope who doesnt believe in God or what not. Ive had so much Faith in God but yet people tell me to get right with God pray to God like I never did those things. And you know what that hurt that hurt so much. To look at me like I had no hope in God that I wasnt right with Him Like I was just this sinner who didnt believe in God. Im sorry I just needed to get this off my heart.

 

[mrm]

I reassure myself by knowing that because my little sick brain has trouble, GOD is in control. When I am weak HE is strong. I have to trust that HE's keeping me in those darkest moments; even though I know I wouldn't hang onto me. HE is faithful even when I'm not. There are times and days when I can't pray. I get angry with GOD and ask HIM why HE allows me to suffer, why HE just lets it go on and on. Ecc. 1:13 And I gave my heart to seek and search out by wisdom concerning all things that are done under heaven: this sore travail hath God given to the sons of man to be exercised therewith. I ask HIM to tell me why we have to be exercised with the sore travail of this life? HE has to know who HE can trust doesn't HE. He's going to give the true riches to the overcomers. How does HE know HE can trust me if I betray HIM when things heat up? Things to consider when we're dealing with these issues. Perhaps, a person given to much speculation and sore travail is also one who has taken their call of the LORD very seriously. Maybe the fires of affliction are purifying our thoughts about GOD. Maybe we have a wrong view of HIM that HE needs to correct. These are things I ponder. What do you think about this?

 

[plumsink]

Whenever you are trying to quit a substance, feelings of emptiness are part of the symptoms. Try to take care of yourself, eat healthier than you might normally do, force yourself to do little things for yourself to boost your spirits. In time, the symptoms will diminish. Don't give up.

Fortunately we do not worship our fellow foolish human beings, and no law says we have to care what they think. Stay the course. This is a blind faith thing, you have to walk by faith because right now, what your senses tell you will defeat you. What your own mind will tell you will defeat you. Blind, deaf, and dumb, keep putting one foot in front of the other in a direction that you know will be better for you and lead you to being more and more a force for good in this world. And will lead you to peace.

(((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))

 

[Tempura]

Broken Hearted, you sound a lot like me right now.

mrm has good points, as plumsink has too. plumsink said well: this is a blind faith thing.

This is what I'm doing now. Blind faith. I feel my faith is weak, I feel I am worthless to God and to other people, and to myself as well. Hate, loneliness, bitterness, hopelessness fills my mind and my heart. Because of this I can't trust myself, I have a hard time trusting God too.

I am blind, very very blind. But I'm not gone yet. Last night I didn't end my life. There must be some faith so blind in me, that I don't even realize it. It makes me not to die right now. It makes me breathe.

I have prayed a lot, as have you. As have any of you. In my weak faith, I have no trust in God hearing my prayers. But still, I pray, and so do you. I still breathe, and so do you. Why is that? It's a blind faith thing. We know we are weak right now, very weak. Would we abandon our sons who are in despair? We wouldn't. It just very well might be God himself who is keeping me alive. I can't do it now, so I've had to pray for Him to carry me. In moments like these, it is hard to feel God. It is hard to trust, like mrm said. It is hard to feel love. One minute at a time, one day at a time. We're getting there, all of us.

God, the God that I try so much to have faith in, is love. God is surely more loving and forgiving than we can ever be. Broken Hearted, if I, who doesn't know you, can forgive and care about you, how much more does God care about you? I know this is hard to feel right now. If you told me that God loves me, I would have trouble believing it because I am desperate too right now. But we have to hang on to it. We have to keep breathing. God is stronger than any of us. His strenght and love does not only apply to those who are strong, to those who never doubt, or to those who don't despair

One breath at a time.

 

[Criada]

He's there... and whatever anyone says, He understands and He won't let go.
Even when I lost faith completely, He never let go.
This video helps me when I can't understand why He would love me... if you get a chance, watch it.

YouTube - ‪The Inheritance‬‏


And when your faith is low, lean on your brothers and sisters.. we believe God loves you very, very much, and we will hold you up until you can stand on your own again and know who you really are

 

[Broken Hearted]

Standing here on my own again and drunk as ever.

 

[aflower4God]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{BIG HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
You are NEVER alone my dear sweet loving sister, CHRIST IS CARRYING you. that my dear sweet sister is a PROMISE!
And you have your BIG FAMILY HERE.
LOTS OF LOVE TO YOU!

 

[plumsink]

Stumbling is not the important part. We all stumble. The important part is getting back on your feet again.

The important thing is not falling. We all fall. The important thing is to rise up and try again. If you fall a thousand times, on that thousandth time, get back up again and be willing to risk 1001.

The getting back up and trying again part is the hardest, as I know from my cigarette addiction. I get so weary from the battle that I quit quitting. But sooner or later, I know I have to try again, and so will you.

You may think that you can't do it, that there is no hope. All that thinking does is try to keep you from ever trying again. Don't tolerate guilt, self-condemnation or self-loathing, it is only there to keep you down. Stand back up again.

((((hugs))))

 

[mrm]

Stumbling is not the important part. We all stumble. The important part is getting back on your feet again.

The important thing is not falling. We all fall. The important thing is to rise up and try again. If you fall a thousand times, on that thousandth time, get back up again and be willing to risk 1001.

The getting back up and trying again part is the hardest, as I know from my cigarette addiction. I get so weary from the battle that I quit quitting. But sooner or later, I know I have to try again, and so will you.

You may think that you can't do it, that there is no hope. All that thinking does is try to keep you from ever trying again. Don't tolerate guilt, self-condemnation or self-loathing, it is only there to keep you down. Stand back up again.

((((hugs))))

That's exactly right. When you quit trying is when you fail and you can get very worn out trying. The enemy reminds me when I start making headway in my life; that I'll never have again what I have lost. What I lost was too dear to ever replace so how can I ever have hope of joy again when this emptiness will always be with me? I have to recognize that just because I can't experience the heights of joy I had in the past doesn't mean I can't enjoy the present a little. Gloria Vanderbilt said in a magazine article I read years ago that (and I'm paraphrasing from distant memory) learning to cope with and accept loss in a healthy way was her secret to a long, happy, fulfilled life. Her book "a mother's story" is about her true life loss of her son to suicide so she knows, if you know what I mean. Today, don't give up. That's all I can do today.

Some days are better than others and some days I think I've given up and I do!!! But then the next day I wake up and find a little resolve again to plod on. Thank GOD through JESUS CHRIST , HE keeps renewing me again and again to hope. Today the hope was realizing we are looking for a city whose builder and maker is GOD which HE has prepared for us. HE'll wipe away all of our tears and there will be no more sorrow.

 

[loved33]

Heart, a very wise and loving preacher once said

'faith is not a feeling - it is a decision'.

now you have made a choice to take steps, a day at a time, on the road of life and sobriety.

you are in faith, whether you feel horrid or whether you feel holy.

holiness is a state we have under the blood that was shed by another - it can't be felt or earned.

it isn't your 'goodness' or 'badness' that makes you loved or acceptable to God.

The blood is what God Himself has put on you, as you chose to received that blood with your decision to receive Christ. His shed blood is on you, and you are clean, without spot or blemish in His eyes.

His blood means you don't have to earn your way back into His 'good books'.

Yes you are choosing to be sober, but not to earn love or acceptance, it is for health and so you can live well , in fullness of life and be awake to see good when it comes your way, good that God is daily at work to send you.

But to recieve good, one needs to be of a mind to receive good.



The old tree that God said never to eat from, was the tree of knowledge of 'good' and 'bad'.

When we get caught up in 'am i good or bad '? mindset, we get into looking at our own supplying of our own righteousness or right standing with God.

But Jesus, the tree of life, is the tree to eat from.

His blood has to be where you find your identity and value. This is how to think, according to God's mind regarding your worth and value and rightness with Him.
Not in old tree mind, where you are 'god' and supplying everything by 'earning/proving'.


You are loved and cherished, lovely in His sight.

Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

Pauls letters are where you will find the truth about being a new creation, in the blood.

Reading these, even just a few lines a day , will begin to break that condemnation mindset you got, which we all have when we live out of our own performance as proof of being 'ok with God'.

The blood . Final answer.

love you petal

xx

 

[loved33]

hey i was sent this today , and thought of you

Getting Filled With All The Fullness Of God

[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif]Ephesians 3:19
19[/FONT]to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. [/FONT]
​

We would all like to experience more health, prosperity and success in our lives. God, being God, has all of these things, won’t you agree? So to be full of God is to be full of health, prosperity and success. But how does one become full of God?

In the past, I was told that to be “filled with all the fullness of God”, I had to fast a certain number of days, pray a certain number of hours and speak in tongues incessantly!

I am not belittling fasting, praying or speaking in tongues, but to be filled with all the fullness of God is not about what you do. It is not even about your love for Christ. It is actually about knowing the love of Christ!

No one ever told me that if I knew how much God loves me and focused on His love for me, I would be full of Him.

When God made you, He designed you to run at optimal level when you are filled with His love, like a car that runs at its best when it is filled with the right kind of petrol or gasoline. When you realize how much God loves you and you feed on His love for you, you will be supernaturally filled with the fullness of God.
And to be full of God is to be full of everything God is to you and has for you.

To be full of the knowing of God's love for you, is to arrive and walk into THE place of life, health, peace, prosperity — total wellness.



Joseph Prince Daily Grace

 

[Winter]

Pain is like an anchor that weighs us into the ground with despair and hopelessness. I know that feeling as so many of us do.

BH, I tell folks this - that if you don't see hope for yourself right now (because the pain is too intense it blinds us in seeing anything), that at the very least, just believe in its existance - as a concept. The why, what, where, and when as to how it applies in your life is hard to see right now - but if you know that hope's existance does "live" in this world is a good start for now. At least try. Try to do that.

Remember one thing: God never, never, never gives up on His children. You may have given up, but He has not given up on you. What you feel as far as God is concnerned, is pain. That's pain talking through you. Its pain that blinds you and deafens you. Its pain that creates a wall in which nothing can penetrate through. But standing all around you and within you is God. You are too precious.

I've always said - sometimes in order for our hearts and lives to be transformed something needs to fall apart. Something needs to fall to the ground before we can rebuild and transform. Our hearts and minds are like gardens - they need to be pruned and weeded. Pain is the shovel that digs into us. Once all the weeds come out, our hearts and minds bloom into beautiful gardens. God is our gardener.

Don't give up on hope. None of us here - God included - will give up on you. Its going to be ok. (((((hugs)))))