Ok, warning, this is part rant/question/prayer request.
My husband and I have been separated for over a year now. He's been in a couple of relationships in the meantime. I have not at all. Now that his most recent relationship ended a couple of months ago and since then he's been spending more time at my house (we have two kids). He's having issues with money and not having heat or water at his house (half an hour outside of the city that I live in), so I've been letting him get water, do laundry and spend time with the kids there. I've been okay with this, as most of the time I'm not there anyways. Now he's wanting to spend more time with just me. I've finally gotten him to spit it out that he wants us to get back together. I'm not so sure about that. I know that God would want us to reconcile if at all possible, but I don't know that this is the healthy thing to do for both of us and our kids. We did a lot of arguing, silent treatment and some emotional bullying between us (nothing physical). This is our 2nd separation and I told him when he finally told me he wanted to split (a couple of months after he started pulling away from me), that this was it, that I couldn't take this again. I'm afraid that his wanting to be back together has something to do with him not having a woman right now and he's lonely and wanting something else. I kind of want to give him a chance, but I know he hasn't changed, and I haven't really either. I'm still working on it, but it's hard when you can't afford a therapist to work past issues. I don't want to shoot him down, but at the same time I don't really want to encourage him. I'm afraid he's getting the kids hopes up, just by things they've said and I don't want him to do that. He's been wanting me to let everyone know (family and friends) that we're doing stuff together, but really, there's no reason and I told him that. He's pushing things way too fast. There are major trust issues because he cheated before we broke up (no cheating that I know of the first time). He's not above using the kids to guilt-trip me into coming back and I'm just praying to be able to resist any manipulative ways he might try. I'm sorry this is kind of rambling. If you need more info or clarification, please let me know! Thanks for listening (reading).
My husband and I have been separated for over a year now. He's been in a couple of relationships in the meantime. I have not at all. Now that his most recent relationship ended a couple of months ago and since then he's been spending more time at my house (we have two kids). He's having issues with money and not having heat or water at his house (half an hour outside of the city that I live in), so I've been letting him get water, do laundry and spend time with the kids there. I've been okay with this, as most of the time I'm not there anyways. Now he's wanting to spend more time with just me. I've finally gotten him to spit it out that he wants us to get back together. I'm not so sure about that. I know that God would want us to reconcile if at all possible, but I don't know that this is the healthy thing to do for both of us and our kids. We did a lot of arguing, silent treatment and some emotional bullying between us (nothing physical). This is our 2nd separation and I told him when he finally told me he wanted to split (a couple of months after he started pulling away from me), that this was it, that I couldn't take this again. I'm afraid that his wanting to be back together has something to do with him not having a woman right now and he's lonely and wanting something else. I kind of want to give him a chance, but I know he hasn't changed, and I haven't really either. I'm still working on it, but it's hard when you can't afford a therapist to work past issues. I don't want to shoot him down, but at the same time I don't really want to encourage him. I'm afraid he's getting the kids hopes up, just by things they've said and I don't want him to do that. He's been wanting me to let everyone know (family and friends) that we're doing stuff together, but really, there's no reason and I told him that. He's pushing things way too fast. There are major trust issues because he cheated before we broke up (no cheating that I know of the first time). He's not above using the kids to guilt-trip me into coming back and I'm just praying to be able to resist any manipulative ways he might try. I'm sorry this is kind of rambling. If you need more info or clarification, please let me know! Thanks for listening (reading).
