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Smile ......................

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cygnusx1

cygnusx1

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say it
attachment.php
with flowers ..............
attachment.php
​
 
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Erinwilcox

Erinwilcox

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Twenty ways to maintain a healthy level of insanity.
. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on
[SIZE=-1]>>>>and[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>> point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>> 2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>voice.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>> 3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>want[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>> fries with that.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>> 4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN".[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>> 5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>has[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>> gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>> 6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>smuggling diamonds".[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>> 7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>prophecy".[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>> 8. don't use any punctuation or capitalizing[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>> 9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>> 10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat - with a[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>serious face.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>> 11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>> 12. Sing along at the opera.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>> 13. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>tropical[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>> sounds all day at work.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>> 14. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>rhyme.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>> 15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>attend their[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>> party because you're not in the mood.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>> 16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name,[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>Rock Bottom.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>> 17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won! I won!"[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>> 18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>lot[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>> yelling, "run for your lives, they're loose!!"[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>> 19. Tell your children over dinner "due to the economy, we[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>are going[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>> to have to let one of you go."[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>> 20. And the final way to keep a healthy level of[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>insanity--e-mail[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>> this to someone to make them smile. It's called therapy.[/SIZE]
 
Upvote 0
S

strengthinweakness

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Erinwilcox said:
Twenty ways to maintain a healthy level of insanity.
. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on
[SIZE=-1]>>>>and[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>> point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>> 2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>voice.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>> 3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>want[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>> fries with that.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>> 4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN".[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>> 5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>has[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>> gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>> 6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>smuggling diamonds".[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>> 7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>prophecy".[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>> 8. don't use any punctuation or capitalizing[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>> 9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>> 10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat - with a[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>serious face.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>> 11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>> 12. Sing along at the opera.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>> 13. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>tropical[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>> sounds all day at work.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>> 14. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>rhyme.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>> 15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>attend their[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>> party because you're not in the mood.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>> 16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name,[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>Rock Bottom.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>> 17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won! I won!"[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>> 18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>lot[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>> yelling, "run for your lives, they're loose!!"[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>> 19. Tell your children over dinner "due to the economy, we[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>are going[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>> to have to let one of you go."[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>> 20. And the final way to keep a healthy level of[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>>insanity--e-mail[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]>>>> this to someone to make them smile. It's called therapy.[/SIZE]
Click to expand...

Erin, my sister in Christ, thank you. This post made me smile like an idiot after having a truly horrible day. May God bless you. :)
 
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cygnusx1

cygnusx1

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One day a southerner was lying on a beautiful beach, with his fishing pole propped up in the sand and his solitary line cast out into the sparkling blue surf. He was enjoying the warmth of the afternoon sun and the prospect of catching a fish.
About that time, a Yankee businessman came walking down the beach, trying to relieve some of the stress of his workday. He noticed the fisherman sitting on the beach and decided to find out why this fisherman was fishing instead of working harder to make a living for himself and his family.
"You aren't going to catch many fish that way," said the Yankee businessman to the fisherman, "you should be working rather than lying on the beach!" The fisherman looked up at the businessman, smiled and replied, "And what would my reward be?"
"Well, you can get bigger nets and catch more fish!" was the Yankee's answer.
"And then what will my reward be?" asked the fisherman, still smiling.
The businessman replied, "You'll make money and you'll be able to buy a boat, which will then result in larger catches of fish!"
"And then what will my reward be?" asked the fisherman again.
The Yankee businessman was beginning to get a little irritated with the fisherman's questions. "You can buy a bigger boat, and hire some people to work for you!" he said.
"And then what will my reward be?" repeated the fisherman.
The businessman was getting angry. "Don't you understand? You can build up a fleet of fishing boats, sail all over the world, and let all your employees catch fish for you!"
Once again the fisherman asked, "And then what will my reward be?"
The businessman was red with rage and shouted at the fisherman, "Don't you understand that you can become so rich that you'll never have to work for your living again! You can spend all the rest of your days sitting on this beach, looking at the sunset, without a care in the world!" The fisherman looked up at the poor Yankee and smiled.

attachment.php
 
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Erinwilcox

Erinwilcox

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5solas said:
... ;)

attachment.php
Click to expand...

When I was younger, my family vacationed in up-state NY every year. During these wonderful vacations on Glen Lake (near Lake George), we stayed in the small home of a friend (I mean small). . .tiny bathroom, no shower, a pump for the sink. So, while we were very small (and not quite so small :D), my mom would bathe us in the sink. . .minus the dishes, though! This picture reminds me of one of my sister and me in the sink at Mr. Wagner's house!
 
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cygnusx1

cygnusx1

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Erinwilcox said:
When I was younger, my family vacationed in up-state NY every year. During these wonderful vacations on Glen Lake (near Lake George), we stayed in the small home of a friend (I mean small). . .tiny bathroom, no shower, a pump for the sink. So, while we were very small (and not quite so small :D), my mom would bathe us in the sink. . .minus the dishes, though! This picture reminds me of one of my sister and me in the sink at Mr. Wagner's house!
Click to expand...

somewhere in my distant memory I also can remember being bathed as a baby/toddler in a sink ........ hot water was not so easy to get back whenever ....... :D
 
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Erinwilcox

Erinwilcox

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In Florida, an atheist became incensed over the preparation for Easter and
>Passover holidays and decided to contact the local ACLU about the
>discrimination inflicted on atheists by the constant celebrations afforded
>to Christians and Jews with all their holidays while the atheists had no
>holiday to celebrate.
>
>The ACLU jumped on the opportunity to once again pick up the cause of the
>godless and assigned their sharpest attorneys to the case.
>
>The case was brought before a wise judge who after listening to the long,
>passionate presentation of the ACLU lawyers, promptly banged his gavel and
>declared, "Case dismissed!"
>
>The lead ACLU lawyer immediately stood and objected to the ruling and said,
>"Your honor, how can you possibly dismiss this case? Surely the Christians
>have Christmas, Easter and many other observances.
>
>And the Jews--why in addition to Passover they have Yom Kippur and Hanukkah
>...and yet my client and all other atheists have no such holiday!"
>
>The judge leaned forward in his chair and simply said
>
>"Obviously your client is too confused to know about, or for that matter,
>even celebrate the atheists' holiday!"
>
>The ACLU lawyer pompously said "We are aware of no such holiday for
>atheists, just when might that be, your honor?"
>
>The judge said "Well it comes every year on exactly the same date---
>
>April 1st!"
>
>?
>
>
>
>?
>
>The fool says in his heart, "There is no God."
>- Psalm 14:1, Psalm 53:1
>
>
>HOORAY FOR THIS JUDGE?
 
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cygnusx1

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Doing This Great Deed

A fellow finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates.
St. Peter explains that its not so easy to get in heaven.
There are some criteria before entry is allowed.
For example, was the man religious in life? Attend church? No?
St. Peter told him that's bad.
Was he generous? give money to the poor? Charities? No?
St. Peter told him that that too was bad.
Did he do any good deeds? Help his neighbor? Anything? No?
St. Peter was becoming concerned. Exasperated, Peter says, "Look, everybody does something nice sometime.
Work with me, I'm trying to help. Now think!"

The man says, "There was this old lady. I came out of a store and found her
surrounded by a dozen Hell's Angels. They had taken her purse and were shoving
her around, taunting and abusing her. I got so mad I threw my bags down,
fought through the crowd, and got her purse back. I then helped her to her feet.
I then went up to the biggest, baddest biker and told him how despicable,
cowardly and mean he was and then spat in his face".

"Wow", said Peter, "That's impressive. When did this happen"?
"Oh, about 10 minutes ago", replied the man. ^_^:p:D
​
 
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