McWilliams
Senior Veteran
My grandkids love it also. It took me a few practice sessions but I now can get the 'Perfectly Parked' caption a few times out of many tries! Fun!
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CF has always been a site that welcomes people from different backgrounds and beliefs to participate in discussion and even debate. That is the nature of its ministry. In view of recent events emotions are running very high. We need to remind people of some basic principles in debating on this site. We need to be civil when we express differences in opinion. No personal attacks. Avoid you, your statements. Don't characterize an entire political party with comparisons to Fascism or Communism or other extreme movements that committed atrocities. CF is not the place for broad brush or blanket statements about groups and political parties. Put the broad brushes and blankets away when you come to CF, better yet, put them in the incinerator. Debate had no place for them. We need to remember that people that commit acts of violence represent themselves or a small extreme faction.
Smile ......................
- Thread starter cygnusx1
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- Apr 12, 2004
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[FONT=Verdana,Arial,Helvetica]WAY OF LIFE LITERATURE WEB SITE
(A TONGUE IN CHEEK ADAPTION)
[/FONT]
(A TONGUE IN CHEEK ADAPTION)
[/FONT]
"Oh yes! Calvin said that not only must people like Servetus be killed, but they should be burnt CRUELLY...
And again, Calvinists don't believe that people can reject Christ!
And...oh yes that's right...Calvinists believe that faith is a work...
... Do you hear me? ...
...What do you mean you want "PROOF"? ...
... You mean "Proof" as in actually giving you references? ...
...Verifiable references?...
... You want to LOOK UP what I'm writing? ...
... Hold on!...NOW HOLD ON!...
... I am a VERY BUSY MAN...
... I get thousands of emails every week from people who don't agree with me ...
... I get nasty letters from Calvinists...
(...By the way...Infant baptism is an abomination...)
...OK...that isn't anything to do with the subject ...
...I don't have time to defend my writings with things like verifable proof...
...You STILL want to see why I'm saying these things about your faith? ...
...You mean that you are prepared to take the time to LOOK UP any references? ...
What's that? See if I have quoted them in CONTEXT? ...
... CONTEXT? ...
Er...hem... I got all these things from
an old time, true blue, tell-it-as-it-is, no nonsense, Pre Mill, KJV Only, Dispensationalist,
anti CCM, Independent, Fundamental, soulwinning,
Baptist preacher boy who has since died and gone to glory ...
AND YOU STILL WANT PROOF?
/
And again, Calvinists don't believe that people can reject Christ!
And...oh yes that's right...Calvinists believe that faith is a work...
... Do you hear me? ...
...What do you mean you want "PROOF"? ...
... You mean "Proof" as in actually giving you references? ...
...Verifiable references?...
... You want to LOOK UP what I'm writing? ...
... Hold on!...NOW HOLD ON!...
... I am a VERY BUSY MAN...
... I get thousands of emails every week from people who don't agree with me ...
... I get nasty letters from Calvinists...
(...By the way...Infant baptism is an abomination...)
...OK...that isn't anything to do with the subject ...
...I don't have time to defend my writings with things like verifable proof...
...You STILL want to see why I'm saying these things about your faith? ...
...You mean that you are prepared to take the time to LOOK UP any references? ...
What's that? See if I have quoted them in CONTEXT? ...
... CONTEXT? ...
Er...hem... I got all these things from
an old time, true blue, tell-it-as-it-is, no nonsense, Pre Mill, KJV Only, Dispensationalist,
anti CCM, Independent, Fundamental, soulwinning,
Baptist preacher boy who has since died and gone to glory ...
AND YOU STILL WANT PROOF?
/
CONCLUSION: Friends in Christ, do not be discouraged by any of this. It is God's will that we know the
times (1 Ch. 12:32; Mat. 16:3) and that we be as wise as serpents and harmless as doves. These things
remind us that the hour is very late, and we need to be ready for the coming of the Lord. Are you sure that
you are born again? Are you living for Christ day by day? And that, knowing the time, that now it is high
time to awake out of sleep: for now is our salvation nearer than when we believed. The night is far spent,
the day is at hand: let us therefore cast off the works of darkness, and let us put on the armour of light. Let
us walk honestly, as in the day; not in rioting and drunkenness, not in chambering and wantonness, not in
strife and envying. But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfil the
END OF THIS SPOOF PAGE
times (1 Ch. 12:32; Mat. 16:3) and that we be as wise as serpents and harmless as doves. These things
remind us that the hour is very late, and we need to be ready for the coming of the Lord. Are you sure that
you are born again? Are you living for Christ day by day? And that, knowing the time, that now it is high
time to awake out of sleep: for now is our salvation nearer than when we believed. The night is far spent,
the day is at hand: let us therefore cast off the works of darkness, and let us put on the armour of light. Let
us walk honestly, as in the day; not in rioting and drunkenness, not in chambering and wantonness, not in
strife and envying. But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfil the
lusts thereof (Rom. 13:11-14). This material is sent only to those who personally subscribe...
END OF THIS SPOOF PAGE
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- Apr 12, 2004
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.......... I'm staying put " !!!!
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McWilliams
Senior Veteran
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Jon_
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- Jan 30, 2005
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A friend sent this to me. Some of these are quite cute.
PAY SPECIAL ATTENTION TO THE WORDING AND SPELLING. IF YOU KNOW THE BIBLE EVEN A LITTLE, YOU'LL FIND THIS HILARIOUS! IT COMES FROM A CATHOLIC ELEMENTARY SCHOOL TEST. KIDS WERE ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE OLD AND NEW TESTAMENTS. THE FOLLOWING STATEMENTS ABOUT THE BIBLE WERE WRITTEN BY CHILDREN. THEY HAVE NOT BEEN RETOUCHED OR CORRECTED. INCORRECT SPELLING HAS BEEN LEFT IN.
1. IN THE FIRST! BOOK OF THE BIBLE, GUINESSIS. GOD GOT TIRED OF CREATING THE WORLD SO HE TOOK THE SABBATH OFF.
2. ADAM AND EVE WERE CREATED FROM AN APPLE TREE. NOAH'S WIFE WAS JOAN OF ARK. NOAH BUILT AND ARK AND THE ANIMALS CAME ON IN PEARS.
3. LOTS WIFE WAS A PILLAR OF SALT DURING THE DAY, BUT A BALL OF FIRE DURING THE NIGHT.
4. THE JEWS WERE A PROUD PEOPLE AND THROUGHOUT HISTORY THEY HAD TROUBLE WITH UNSYMPATHETIC GENITALS.
5. SAMPSON WAS A STRONGMAN WHO LET HIMSELF BE LED ASTRAY BY A JEZEBEL LIKE DELILAH.
6. SAMSON SLAYED THE PHILISTINES WITH THE AXE OF THE APOSTLES.
7. MOSES LED THE JEWS TO THE RED SEA WHERE THEY MADE UNLEAVENED BREAD WHICH IS BREAD WITHOUT ANY INGREDIENTS.
8, THE EGYPTIANS WERE ALL DROWNED IN THE DESSERT. AFTERWARDS, MOSES WENT UP TO MOUNT CYANIDE TO GET THE TEN COMMANDMENTS.
9. THE FIRST COMMANDMENTS WAS WHEN EVE TOLD ADAM TO EAT THE APPLE.
10. THE SEVENTH COMMANDMENT IS THOU SHALT NOT ADMIT ADULTERY.
11. MOSES DIED BEFORE HE EVER REACHED CANADA. THEN JOSHUA LED THE HEBREWS IN THE BATTLE OF GERITOL.
12. THE GREATEST MIRICLE IN THE BIBLE IS WHEN JOSHUA TOLD HIS SON TO STAND STILL AND HE OBEYED HIM.
13. DAVID WAS A HEBREW KING WHO WAS SKILLED AT PLAYING THE LIAR. HE FOUGHT THE FINKELSTEINS, A RACE OF PEOPLE WHO LIVED IN BIBLICAL TIMES.
14. SOLOMON, ONE OF DAVIDS SONS, HAD 300 WIVES AND 700 PORCUPINES
15. WHEN MARY HEARD SHE WAS THE MOTHER OF JESUS, SHE SANG THE MAGNA CARTA.
16. WHEN THE THREE WISE GUYS FROM THE EAST SIDE ARRIVED THEY FOUND JESUS IN THE MANAGER.
17. JESUS WAS BORN BECAUSE MARY HAD AN IMMACULATE CONTRAPTION.
18. ST. JOHN THE BLACKSMITH DUMPED WATER ON HIS HEAD.
19. JESUS ENUNCIATED THE GOLDEN RULE, WHICH SAYS TO DO UNTO OTHERS BEFORE THEY DO ONE TO YOU. HE ALSO EXPLAINED A MAN DOTH NOT LIVE BY SWEAT ALONE.
20. IT WAS A MIRICLE WHEN JESUS ROSE FROM THE DEAD AND MANAGED TO GET THE TOMBSTONE OFF THE ENTRANCE.
21. THE PEOPLE WHO FOLLOWED THE LORD WERE CALLED THE 12 DECIBELS.
22. THE EPISTELS WERE THE WIVES OF THE APOSTLES.
23. ONE OF THE OPPOSSUMS WAS ST. MATTHEW WHO WAS ALSO A TAXIMAN.
24. ST. PAUL CAVORTED TO CHRISTIANITY, HE PREACHED HOLY ACRIMONY WHICH IS ANOTHER NAME FOR MARRAIGE.
25. CHRISTIANS HAVE ONLY ONE SPOUSE. THIS IS CALLED MONOTONY .
Soli Deo Gloria
Jon
PAY SPECIAL ATTENTION TO THE WORDING AND SPELLING. IF YOU KNOW THE BIBLE EVEN A LITTLE, YOU'LL FIND THIS HILARIOUS! IT COMES FROM A CATHOLIC ELEMENTARY SCHOOL TEST. KIDS WERE ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE OLD AND NEW TESTAMENTS. THE FOLLOWING STATEMENTS ABOUT THE BIBLE WERE WRITTEN BY CHILDREN. THEY HAVE NOT BEEN RETOUCHED OR CORRECTED. INCORRECT SPELLING HAS BEEN LEFT IN.
1. IN THE FIRST! BOOK OF THE BIBLE, GUINESSIS. GOD GOT TIRED OF CREATING THE WORLD SO HE TOOK THE SABBATH OFF.
2. ADAM AND EVE WERE CREATED FROM AN APPLE TREE. NOAH'S WIFE WAS JOAN OF ARK. NOAH BUILT AND ARK AND THE ANIMALS CAME ON IN PEARS.
3. LOTS WIFE WAS A PILLAR OF SALT DURING THE DAY, BUT A BALL OF FIRE DURING THE NIGHT.
4. THE JEWS WERE A PROUD PEOPLE AND THROUGHOUT HISTORY THEY HAD TROUBLE WITH UNSYMPATHETIC GENITALS.
5. SAMPSON WAS A STRONGMAN WHO LET HIMSELF BE LED ASTRAY BY A JEZEBEL LIKE DELILAH.
6. SAMSON SLAYED THE PHILISTINES WITH THE AXE OF THE APOSTLES.
7. MOSES LED THE JEWS TO THE RED SEA WHERE THEY MADE UNLEAVENED BREAD WHICH IS BREAD WITHOUT ANY INGREDIENTS.
8, THE EGYPTIANS WERE ALL DROWNED IN THE DESSERT. AFTERWARDS, MOSES WENT UP TO MOUNT CYANIDE TO GET THE TEN COMMANDMENTS.
9. THE FIRST COMMANDMENTS WAS WHEN EVE TOLD ADAM TO EAT THE APPLE.
10. THE SEVENTH COMMANDMENT IS THOU SHALT NOT ADMIT ADULTERY.
11. MOSES DIED BEFORE HE EVER REACHED CANADA. THEN JOSHUA LED THE HEBREWS IN THE BATTLE OF GERITOL.
12. THE GREATEST MIRICLE IN THE BIBLE IS WHEN JOSHUA TOLD HIS SON TO STAND STILL AND HE OBEYED HIM.
13. DAVID WAS A HEBREW KING WHO WAS SKILLED AT PLAYING THE LIAR. HE FOUGHT THE FINKELSTEINS, A RACE OF PEOPLE WHO LIVED IN BIBLICAL TIMES.
14. SOLOMON, ONE OF DAVIDS SONS, HAD 300 WIVES AND 700 PORCUPINES
15. WHEN MARY HEARD SHE WAS THE MOTHER OF JESUS, SHE SANG THE MAGNA CARTA.
16. WHEN THE THREE WISE GUYS FROM THE EAST SIDE ARRIVED THEY FOUND JESUS IN THE MANAGER.
17. JESUS WAS BORN BECAUSE MARY HAD AN IMMACULATE CONTRAPTION.
18. ST. JOHN THE BLACKSMITH DUMPED WATER ON HIS HEAD.
19. JESUS ENUNCIATED THE GOLDEN RULE, WHICH SAYS TO DO UNTO OTHERS BEFORE THEY DO ONE TO YOU. HE ALSO EXPLAINED A MAN DOTH NOT LIVE BY SWEAT ALONE.
20. IT WAS A MIRICLE WHEN JESUS ROSE FROM THE DEAD AND MANAGED TO GET THE TOMBSTONE OFF THE ENTRANCE.
21. THE PEOPLE WHO FOLLOWED THE LORD WERE CALLED THE 12 DECIBELS.
22. THE EPISTELS WERE THE WIVES OF THE APOSTLES.
23. ONE OF THE OPPOSSUMS WAS ST. MATTHEW WHO WAS ALSO A TAXIMAN.
24. ST. PAUL CAVORTED TO CHRISTIANITY, HE PREACHED HOLY ACRIMONY WHICH IS ANOTHER NAME FOR MARRAIGE.
25. CHRISTIANS HAVE ONLY ONE SPOUSE. THIS IS CALLED MONOTONY .
Soli Deo Gloria
Jon
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- Sep 5, 2005
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Stare at the central dot, and move your head forwards and backwards.......
I love stuff like this!!! It never ceases to amaze me that they work - and I never understand how they work.
edie
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