Small groups

[MoeSzyslak]

I decided to give church another try. So I went and attended a small men's group. As usual, I just sat there and had nothing to share or say. Sometimes I can think of things to say 3 or so hours after the group ends, but never during.

It is so awkward to just sit there silently all the time. Has anyone actually mastered the small group scenario? I'm so lost during it.

 

[Bill Shadowcat]

I know I haven't. I can talk one on one with someone, but in something like that, I too, usually have absolutely nothing to say.

 

[hedrick]

I'm not an Aspie, though a lot of my personal characteristics are similar. Depending upon the context, I hate certain kind of interpersonal activities. But as long as there's no pressure to do anything, groups might work. What are the dynamics? Does it actually bother anyone if you don't talk? Can you say to the leader or even the whole group that you find it hard to speak in that kind of situation, but you still like to be around other Christians?

Do you know enough about the topic to think about something in advance? If not, could you arrange to find out?

 

[jackmt]

How about a special Sunday service for Aspies and families? In larger churches of, say 2000 people, about 1%, or 20 people, will be on the spectrum. There should be at least 3 family members on average, making a group of 80 people give or take; certainly enough to justify a service. Others should be welcome as well.

 

[dayhiker]

Hi Moe ... I went to a lot of places where I didn't have anything to say when I was young. Eventually I got very comfortable just sitting there. But it gave me time to study how small groups worked.

Then I had to really learn quite a bit about the topic before I felt comfortable to add my comments. So it was work to learn how to share in a small group, but worth it. That doesn't say it works for me in all small groups, sometimes people talk all over each other and then I just listen.

 

[Ludicrus]

When I first started out with small groups, I was able to focus on the leader of the group in such a way that there were only two of us there. That helped me open up. Sort of a mind game, but it helped.

Later, I got more comfortable and was able to open up and interact with other people.

 

[dayhiker]

Ludicrous .. I love that technique. Thanks for sharing it.

 

[Ludicrus]

Ludicrous .. I love that technique. Thanks for sharing it.

You are welcome, but you know what you were talking about, becoming knowledgeable about the topic? I used to study the living daylights out of whatever we were studying, too.

Which is also good. If you know what is being taught, they can't lead you astray later unless you let them.

 

[NIrelandGillian]

My son doesn't participate much in any group. People don't try to make him contribute to the conversation, but he is more aware of not taking part when he is in a small group than when he is in a large group - he can happily lose himself in a large group.

Gillian