smacking children

Kira Faye · Apr 11, 2004

Suppose its different for different people. I was smacked 3 time in total and I have no memroy of them except my mum has told me of them, and when she did my first though was I probably deserved that!!! Smacking shoudln't be the only form of discipline cause if everything is fine else where there shoudl never be a need, but on a occassion a quick smack on the [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] my help. Most children don't remember unless it was done violently, I thinkthe smack hurt my mums hand more then my bum.

mamaneenie · Apr 11, 2004

bigg said:
I won't be writing at all. I think it is not right to smack children - especially past a certain age. I was smacked as a child and it certainly caused a rift between myself and my parents. If you guys think of discipline as purely physical you are in a lot of trouble.

Nooooo, discipline is not purely physical, but have you ever tried to explain to a 2 yo, the ins and outs of right and wrong without teaching them in other ways (besides verbally) you just get a confused look, like what are you going on about mum.

I don't agree with the idea of smacking other peoples kids though, just your own.

Kira Faye · Apr 12, 2004

yeah agreed it shoudl be ur own children and shouldn't leave a mark.

Bevlina · Apr 12, 2004

As I said...of a child repeatedly puts it's hand into a fire....perhaps I should add...and disobeys the word 'No.".....do you smack the hand...or keep trying to say no....or give the child a smacked hand? Or...do you let the child suffer a badly burn't hand?
If it reaches for a saucepan of boiling water on the stove...do you keep saying "No...naughty." until the child pulls a pot of boiling water over itself...or give it a little smack to prevent the obvious? We have to use common sense bigg.

Marissa · Apr 13, 2004

I have no problem with smacking in moderation, and up to a certain age. I wouldn't smake a 12 year old because they are old enough to respond to other methods. In some situations with a 2 year old though, it's the only way.

KristianJ · Apr 13, 2004

I heard on the radio today that a mother in Singapore was jailed for 4 months for "disciplining" her 8 y/o child with a hot iron, and another mother is facing sentencing for doing the same thing, but lacerating her child on the forearm with a sharp object. I was disgusted as soon as I heard it. And in both cases it was because the children had completed homework questions incorrectly. Absolutely astounding if you ask me!

Butterscotch · Apr 13, 2004

Well I only had about 10 smacks in my 18 years that I can think of. I believe that once you can crawl, you can be smacked. You are born with a sinful nature and so I think once you have the ability to do things bad then you are able to be smacked.

Just a quick story...My parents have their own business and one day when I was about 5 years old we had to go and install our product and I went with my parents. The client had a 4 year old boy and while my parents were installing i played with the little boy. But then I bit him and my parents were so ashamed that my mum took me outside and bit me and actually drew blood from my skin. Now, when she told me I was like "Hey mum, I should have put you in for child abuse..." But then I thought to myself, I NEVER have bitten a child since then! So obviously it did work.

But anyway just another bit of my two cents

bigg · Apr 13, 2004

mamaneenie said:
Nooooo, discipline is not purely physical, but have you ever tried to explain to a 2 yo, the ins and outs of right and wrong without teaching them in other ways (besides verbally) you just get a confused look, like what are you going on about mum.

I don't agree with the idea of smacking other peoples kids though, just your own.

Point taken - I guess the word smack gives me a more serious mental picture. Good topic to discuss anyway. In the case of writing to may local political reprasentatives though... I don't think I'll go that far.

mamaneenie · Apr 13, 2004

KristianJ said:
I heard on the radio today that a mother in Singapore was jailed for 4 months for "disciplining" her 8 y/o child with a hot iron, and another mother is facing sentencing for doing the same thing, but lacerating her child on the forearm with a sharp object. I was disgusted as soon as I heard it. And in both cases it was because the children had completed homework questions incorrectly. Absolutely astounding if you ask me!

That's not discipline, that is abuse.

mamaneenie · Apr 13, 2004

bigg said:
Point taken - I guess the word smack gives me a more serious mental picture. Good topic to discuss anyway. In the case of writing to may local political reprasentatives though... I don't think I'll go that far.

Normally a tap on the hand and a stern look does the job quite sufficiently. (for a 2 yo anyway, not too sure later on, but we will cross that bridge when we get to it)

Master Chuck · Apr 14, 2004

I am appalled to read about all the parents here and their obsession with smacking!

Perhaps your abilities as parents need to be reviewed if you can't teach your child what is right and wrong without resorting to physical abuse.

Perhaps you should be smacked right back if you do something wrong?
M.C.

Kira Faye · Apr 14, 2004

I liked my mums way of dealign with ym sisters tantrums, she woudl plonk the kid out in the backyard close the doors and let her cry and scream till she came back and said she was sorry
People seem to thinking of smacking as in we are hurting the child, I don't knwo what u do to ur child but when ever I speak of smackign the chilkd wouldn;t be left with more then a pink bum that last 1min.

Hey rememebr when canningwas around, we had less students spittingand biting teachers back then........... I had one teaching friend remeber fondly back to the time she was canned she thought it was funny, but still taught her a lesson.

Wolflily · Apr 14, 2004

As a former victim of much mental, emotional, verbal, and physical abuse, I am personally not too comfortable with physical forms of discipline. But I am not a softie either - I have a lot of nieces and nephews that I spend time with and it's amazing what no-nonsense body language, direct eye contact, and tone of voice can do. Follow-through is another biggie. If you threaten something as a form of discipline (like going to a corner or a room, or taking something away) then you follow through no matter what the child does. Let them pitch a hissy. Guarantee you one or two more times of you doing what you say you're going to do will often convince them it's not worth it to push their luck.

mamaneenie · Apr 14, 2004

Master Chuck said:
I am appalled to read about all the parents here and their obsession with smacking!

Perhaps your abilities as parents need to be reviewed if you can't teach your child what is right and wrong without resorting to physical abuse.

Perhaps you should be smacked right back if you do something wrong?

M.C.

Who are you? Do you have children? How old are they?

I do not abuse my child, I ask for guidance from God every day as to parenting my child, who are you to tell me I have bad parenting skills when you don't even know me.

Master Chuck · Apr 15, 2004

mamaneenie said:
Who are you? Do you have children? How old are they?

I do not abuse my child, I ask for guidance from God every day as to parenting my child, who are you to tell me I have bad parenting skills when you don't even know me.

I am Chuck with two children, ten and eight.
M.C.

Kira Faye · Apr 15, 2004

Wolflily said:
As a former victim of much mental, emotional, verbal, and physical abuse, I am personally not too comfortable with physical forms of discipline. But I am not a softie either - I have a lot of nieces and nephews that I spend time with and it's amazing what no-nonsense body language, direct eye contact, and tone of voice can do. Follow-through is another biggie. If you threaten something as a form of discipline (like going to a corner or a room, or taking something away) then you follow through no matter what the child does. Let them pitch a hissy. Guarantee you one or two more times of you doing what you say you're going to do will often convince them it's not worth it to push their luck.

I too was a victim of that sort of abuse. Though for me there is a difference between that and a smack. when I was 2 I had a tendency to carry the dog aroudn the neck(it never hurt him but my parents were not happy) after alot of tryign to talk to me about it my mum gave up and said "once the dog bites her she'll learn" but no my father took to me with a leather belt and beat me. So yes I know the difference between a smack and beating and comparign the two first hand smacking is no form of abuse on the child if it is no more then a light smack on the bum.........but it should be the last alternative and never done in anger!

Blessed-one · Apr 15, 2004

*mod hat on*

CF rule 1: No flaming
1) You will not post any messages that harass, insult, belittle, threaten or flame another member or guest. This will include misquoting another member out of context. You may discuss another member's beliefs but there will be no personal attacks on the member himself or herself. This includes implied accusations that another member is not a Christian.

I'm not going to say who, but please check yourself against it.

Mod hat off*

is there a case where a parent never ever smack a child? (oh, does hitting the palm count as smacking?)

it's next to impossible to explain everything to a child, otherwise why is the word 'child' used on them? they lack the wisdom needed to discern what is right and what is wrong for them. My aunt tries the reasoning technique and it not only frustrates her over his refusal to listen but it also gets us the bystanders all worked up.

Kira Faye · Apr 15, 2004

hope no one thought me as flaming......I just get over enthusiastic. Sorry if any felt I was.

Mustaphile · Apr 15, 2004

I'm ok with tapping babies hands when they are particularly persistent in doing something potentially dangerous. I started out thinking smacking was ok for punishment, but quite early in the piece I discarded it completely. I question it's worth completely now. My kids were raised fairly liberally. When they were quite young and they had temper tantrums, we would put them in the other room and tell them to stay there till they had calmed down. As they got older, they learned to control their tempers better. As for verbal stuff, well it's no hold's barred with my girls. You can say whatever you like in the company of the family(that's been the case for a couple of generations now). When there are guests in the house it's a different matter. They took there lead from Mum and Dad, and behaved politely in company. As soon as company is gone though, it's a free for all, as far as personal expression goes. Now that they are teenagers they are teenagers it's easier to appeal to their conscience. Some might disagree with the way we did things, but I hope it gets passed on through all my kids, just as it came down from my parents. Freedom of expression, and no fear of speaking out against authority. As far as I am concerned, if they had a good point, as to why we were being unreasonable in asking something, then it deserved to be listened to. One of my girls is really loud, and quite the rebel. I kinda think she is pretty cool actually. Now that I have been seperated from them for a while I love hearing the stories of how she goes off at the new boyfriends...hehehehe...if they don't cut the mustard, she tells them so in no uncertain terms.

Blessed-one · Apr 15, 2004

i didn't mean tapping babies' hand when i said 'hitting the palm' if you were directing it to my post. I meant what i meant literally, not tapping, but hitting the inner palm. It's a pretty common form of punishment.

smacking children

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