Sleepless Nights

[HighLonesome]

Here I am forcing myself to stay up 'til midnight again. I have a hard time getting sleep since my Sunshine passed away. A good night is 3 - 4 hrs, usually 2 - 3 and occassionally zero. Did anybody else expericence this and if so how long before it eventually passed and you actually got a full nights sleep? I still find myself turning over in bed carefully so I don't upset her sleep and then of course, I remember she isn't there.

 

[Dawiddlegirl]

Highlonesome,
I'm sure everyone goes through that to one degree or another. I know I did. It has been 5 months since I lost my husband.

I didn't eat or sleep much for the first 6 weeks. I think that around the time I hit the 3 month mark I had the welcome relief of a good solid nights sleep.

I pray that you will find that relief soon. It sure can help your out look just getting sleep.

One thing that helped me was to pray and meditate while lying in bed. I love those dreams where my husband comes to me and he is so happy and healthy and laughing.

As I am waiting for sleep, I think of connecting with him in a dream. Instead of tossing and turning, and trying to not think of him because it hurts, I close my eyes and concentrate until I see his smiling face.

It will get easier with time, I promise you.

God bless you.

 

[JeanR]

Sleeping has become just a tad bit easier. I'm still staying up later than I used to, but I have begun to sleep in later in the morning. Sometimes on Saturday and Sunday I don't wake up until about 9:00--which isn't good on a Sunday morning.

Sleeping was one of the toughest adjustments. The bed just felt so large, empty, and cold. It still feels that way, I don't think it will every change.

I was actually afraid of sleeping. After my dad died I dreamed about him quite often. At first the dreams were comforting, but later I came to dread them. I knew I was dreaming and that I would wake up and he would still be dead. I expected to dream of Terry and just kept staying up later and later, falling asleep from sheer exhaustion. It was just a couple of weeks ago that I thought since I hadn't dreamed of Terry that I wasn't going to and let my guard down. It was then that I had my first dream. My grief counselor told me that dreaming of Terry was a good sign. It meant that my mind was stronger and was healing. I have not a dream since that one time, but I find myself dreading sleep again. I know that the dream is comforting, but I will wake up and he will still be gone. And, I just can't deal with that.

This whole process is two steps forward, one behind--sometimes three behind.