Sister Wives - can we talk bout it?

[JRSut1000]

Do any of ya'll watch Sister Wives? What do you think of it? Specifically what do you think of polygamy as shown through this docudrama (did I make that up myself??)? Has seeing this show changed your former views on it or at least about the individuals who practice this lifestyle? Usually when people think polygamy they think fundamentalist Mormons, but I even heard lately about a book that was written by a Messianic Jew who advocated polygamy. (the mass majority of MJs dont advocate polygamy)

 

[Hetta]

How strange. For the first time ever I watched 10 minutes of the show tonight. I guess it was a SW marathon. I have never seen it before so I don't know the people or their stories but it was something about the women not wanting to share the kitchen and being on vacation with other polygamists - one of whom was married to twin sisters. I couldn't watch more because my stomach was churning. It sounded like some kind of inappropriate content fantasy - the guy having sex with hot twins. I don't think it is right for women to enter into these kind of marriages. I'm sorry that they are being raised in cult-like families and churches that embrace polygamy, so that they think this type of marriage is normal.

 

[Hetta]

I'm sure that lots of men like the idea of multiple women "servicing" them. I would run very far and very fast from such a man.

 

[Niffer]

How strange. For the first time ever I watched 10 minutes of the show tonight. I guess it was a SW marathon. I have never seen it before so I don't know the people or their stories but it was something about the women not wanting to share the kitchen and being on vacation with other polygamists - one of whom was married to twin sisters. I couldn't watch more because my stomach was churning. It sounded like some kind of inappropriate content fantasy - the guy having sex with hot twins. I don't think it is right for women to enter into these kind of marriages. I'm sorry that they are being raised in cult-like families and churches that embrace polygamy, so that they think this type of marriage is normal.

I'm gonna have to agree with Hetta here.
Even though the adults in SW aren't FLDS, the whole idea of polygamy and the abuse of women it's caused makes my blood boil when I read/hear about it.
More so the fact that BC houses a huge FLDS camp and our government just sits by and watch women-girls be sexually abused due to "religious freedom" but I digress...

No I won't watch it or have ANY desire to.

- Niffer

 

[JRSut1000]

I do think there is more to polygamy's purpose than just sex, it's a different family dynamic. And yes, tonight is a marathon night and the first time I've actually sit down to watch it.

 

[Niffer]

I do think there is more to polygamy's purpose than just sex, it's a different family dynamic. And yes, tonight is a marathon night and the first time I've actually sit down to watch it.

Well Mormons say more wives make you more holy, the more wives you have the 'holier' you are.
But I don't think it's reasonable to say 'it's more than just sex' when you hear about 12 year old girls marrying 50 year old men, who already have 7 wives, and chasing off all the young men so there's less competition over women.

If it's not for sex, and it's not for a religious reason, why have a polygamous marriage in the first place?
Pride maybe - "owning" more women
Or maybe they just like having 3 women fighting/bickering/competing for his attention.

I just asked my husband, he said "One's all I could handle."

- Niffer

 

[If Not For Grace]

Does it work in reverse? Are there families with multiple male spouses?

 

[Hetta]

It's called polyandry, and it's rare.

A great deal of these multiple wife/husband marriages are about sex. They have to be, as sex is so integral to the marriage, so you can't tell me that sex has nothing to do with it.

Also, the thing with the young girls is disgraceful. Girls as young as 11 and 12 being "married" to men who are middle aged? That is statutory rape. (Don't anyone tell me it happened in the Bible. That was a long time ago, and a long way away, and it is not legal in our society, nor should it ever be.)

I cannot see those marriages working in the long term - the ones shown in SW I mean, with adults, not children. Jealousy is natural. How would it be to not only suspect that your husband is having sex with other women, but to know that - 3 or 4 nights of the week - he is having sex with other women? And you get to sit with those women at the kitchen table. It's distasteful to me. It is totally outside the norm of marriage vows which are about being faithful and true to your spouse. Maybe they will say, well, he is being faithful to his spouses, but it doesn't work for me. I feel sorry for the children being raised, generation after generation, to assume this is the norm.

 

[Hetta]

I just asked my husband, he said "One's all I could handle."

That is the way we both feel about both sides - both polygamy and polyandry.

There is also the reality that the multiple wives (or husbands) cannot possibly get the full satisfaction of a 100% committed marital partner. True, this can also happen in a marriage of two people, but at least this can be addressed. Where a man has 3 or 4 wives, how can he possibly satisfy all of their needs for intimacy and affection (or decent sex)? It's impossible. So someone - or more than one - is going without. There is no true intimacy in this scenario.

 

[JRSut1000]

For the sake of discussion, let me play devils advocate. When it comes to the issue of abuse, one can easily argue that abuse can happen in ANY relationship whether monogamous, polygamist, homosexual, etc.

Here's another question, should polygamists have a legal right to practice this form of marriage/union? And a step further, why is gay marriage more socially 'acceptable' than polygamy?

 

[Hetta]

For the sake of discussion, let me play devils advocate. When it comes to the issue of abuse, one can easily argue that abuse can happen in ANY relationship whether monogamous, polygamist, homosexual, etc.

Of course. The difference is that in the polygamous cults, it's not considered to be abuse. It's considered to be normal. That's the difference.

Here's another question, should polygamists have a legal right to practice this form of marriage/union?

It's illegal to my knowledge. I don't care whether it's legal or not.

ETA: I take that back. I think that making it legal would open the door to more of this "factory farming" of young girls into polygamous marriages.

Ugh, it's late and I have taken NyQuil so I better bow out before I make absolutely no sense at all.

 

[mina]

I've only seen this show once or twice. It hasn't really changed my mind about polygamy or polygamous marriages. I don't feel like they represent most polygamous mormon families. I feel bad for the wives on this show that of all the men in all the world they are all "married" to this one. He's sort of laughable and the few times I've seen the show he has not struck me as very smart. I've always sensed that the wives were deeply unhappy. And in any preview for the show one or more of them are greviously crying and saying how they want to walk away or something to that effect.

 

[Hetta]

I've only seen this show once or twice. It hasn't really changed my mind about polygamy or polygamous marriages. I feel bad for the wives on this show that of all the men in all the world they are all "married" to this one. He's sort of laughable and the few times I've seen the show he has not struck me as very smart.

Was this the guy with the blonde hair? I thought he was very full of himself and thought he was really something.

 

[mina]

yes^. He's why I can't watch the show....to just watch the show and take it at face value; the women are all pretty likable but he's just not.

 

[JRSut1000]

Yeah blonde hair almost shoulder length.

To answer a previous question, yes polygamy can be one wife multiple husbands or multiple wives one husband. Typically polygamy is polygyny, 1 husband and multiple wives. Polyandry (1 wife and multiple husbands) is quite rare.

 

[JRSut1000]

yes^. He's why I can't watch the show....to just watch the show and take it at face value; the women are all pretty likable but he's just not.

I can only imagine how stressful it would be to juggle 4 wives. Your husband is right, 1 is definitely enough to handle for most men.

 

[Hetta]

yes^. He's why I can't watch the show....to just watch the show and take it at face value; the women are all pretty likable but he's just not.

Even after only 10 minutes I couldn't stand him. He was very patronizing to one of his wives, making her cry. They must have given him that power over them. It was sad to watch, and yes, my stomach is still in knots.

 

[mina]

my husband didn't say that.

 

[Hetta]

I can only imagine how stressful it would be to juggle 4 wives.

But he has a choice not to do that. I feel zero sympathy for him.

 

[mina]

I don't really have much sympathy for him either. I mean he chooses to put it on tv. People are going to form opinions about him; good or bad.