Im not going to apologize for doing this again, but I am embarrassed Ive done this twice already in this thread. Three times the charm.
I think back on the year-longer-than-I-thought and what impact CF has had in my life since then, take that honest assessment and embrace this new transition. I had to put the word new in there because I like how that feels. Newness sounds really good right now and more so, it's right.
I think itll be hard not coming here, just out of habit. Because I am not going from one forum to another, this is it for internet forums for me, as a whole. I'm glad to say that I got introduced to forums by way of CF and I'm leaving forums by way of CF. Im sure Ill miss certain parts of forum life, but then Ill remember what it was like to grow up without the internet or computers (because some of us are old enough to remember what it was like doing homework on a typewriter yes, typewriter, son). Ill remember what it was like to send out Christmas cards and not over the internet. Ill remember how to write more than 3 sentences without getting writers cramp (almost said crap there). Moreover, Ill remember what its like to discuss things around a dinner table, sometimes in the wee hours at night, getting passionate and interested, bonding with others. Ill remember what its like to be misunderstood because I didnt phrase something quite well and being able to go to the person face-to-face to reconcile. Although Ive never hidden my imperfections (except for posting black and white photos of myself, highly Photoshopped), I no longer need to edit myself anymore. I no longer have to have this obnoxious fight the power mentality for a website, its arbitrary rules and actions and its staff members, some of whom I have actually respected and gad-
loved. Not many, but some. I can stop with all that not the love and respect, just the obnoxious part. Although my love can be obnoxious from time to time.
I will miss a lot more of you than I ever wouldve thought. I know that. People have a tendency to get into my heart area without me being consciously aware of it. Not the trolls though. Sorry. I dont really have the patience of a saint and I will not miss toxic people. But, I will miss many of the people Ive met throughout my time here. Im no longer putting the word met in quotes except just then - because I do realize Ive known some of you as much as people in your everyday life. We all hide a bit of ourselves anyway. So yeah, I could officially say Ive met more than just 2 people from CF. And I appreciate the blessing of having met so many of you (either here or ones who have long gone away from here because, again, Im going through the whole gamut of my time here).
I have a horrible habit of staying in a place just a little too long just for the people. Years ago, I made that mistake with my career. I figured I would never find such amazing people elsewhere; all the amazing people were right there. Then, a few of them passed away, things changed and I remained stuck because I couldnt let go. I think its time to let go. I later found out that amazing people are everywhere and I did end up going on to greener pastures (because I'm some sort of grazer in this scenario). I know that many people have sworn they are leaving CF and having so many people either absent or rarely posting really helps me in this next step. Im not thankful for the reasons why people have done what theyve done because the ones I know about are not positive reasons. Thats honestly between them and whoever/whatever. But, I am thankful that things have happened as they have for a reason.
I may not consciously make an effort to communicate with some people, but that doesnt mean you arent thought of in a positive way - not if you're a troll though. I was thinking of listing everyone I had something to say to, but I dont want to make a huge, public shout-out of names again and miss a lot of people anyway. I did mean everything I said in the video thread though every word. Actually, you can take that for every single post Ive ever made. I may not be perfect, but its
really hard for me to lie. To others I never shouted out to, God bless you. Im not going to say if youd like to contact me, blahblahblahblah because I think we wouldve done that bit already if it was something that we were going to do. Naturally, Im not awesome so I dont even keep up with e-mails very much anyway.
Id like to leave you all with a music video. Its not a video that expresses my mood because to be quite honest, I dont even know the lyrics. I dont know if they apply. But, this is the song I was listening to (inadvertently its Maroon Five after all) when I had my epiphany that my time here was officially done. Im so much happier not being on an internet forum and I had a feeling of real peace during this song (which says a lot because, again, Maroon Five?). I do realize I could just post the Already Gone video, but thats sappy and expected and I don't want to go out with Kelly Clarkson and people thinking it's like me singing to them - because I look like Kelly Clarkson never and I sound like her...
only 1/3 of the time. Instead, I leave you with this goofy band.
Have a great one, everyone! And I'm doing this "old school" style by putting a familiar icon up on this post.
Maroon 5 - Won't Go Home Without You - YouTube