Singles' Ministries

[LovinGod]

I posted this in another forum, but decided to also post it here.

I'm giving my church's Singles Ministry another try.

The last time I was involved I was so discouraged by the tone of the Ministry. It just seemed like a bunch of unhappy people complaining that they were tired of waiting. And how they had to watch out for other single people taking advantage of them. And what they looked for in a mate. It just got a little boring after a while.

So, what things do you do (or would like to do) in your own Single's Ministry? What keeps it exciting and keeps you going back? What should be the purpose of a Single's Ministry? What activities should be included? I think that instead of complaining, I can come up with some things to present to the group that would help. Or you can...

Off the top of my head, I think a book club sounds like a good idea. I always liked those.

 

[lilray]

we don't have a "singles" ministry at my church.. most of the people there are single. we have an awesome fellowship ministry that has bon fires and picnics and stuff, but anyone can go.

 

[LovinGod]

I think most people at my church are singles too.

We have a fairly large church (over 7,000 members). We use small ministries geared towards single people, married people, recovering addicts, single parents, etc just so we can meet each other and fellowship with people who have similiar interests or situations.

Kind of like the reason we have a Single's Ministry forum on Christian forums.

 

[caitlincares]

When I was in college (from Maine to Columbus, Ohio) I loved having the Single's group.
The leaders who were married with children were committed to us.
The husband also taught the Single Sunday School class.
We met as a group at least monthly. We tried to balance serious Bible study with just fun events.

I enjoyed it and liked that balance.
What was odd for me at that time was the age range and diversity.
There were some of us who were young adults, never married.
Then there were those that were divorced or widowed with children.

I must admit I preferred the events where children did not attend.
But I understood the need to allow that for the singles mothers.

Overall it was a great experience.
A few of us with more similar situations did become really good friends.
And we would hang out the other weekends that the full group could not.

I was still in college even though my two friends were already in the work force.
I was not looking for anything other than friends at the time.
School work had to come first.

 

[caitlincares]

I returned to Maine after college.
In that church we tried to get a Singles group going.
There were not enough folks so we invited Singles from other churches.

We could never get enough people to commit.
There were just the two of us who had started it.
At that point I was still a young adult and the other lady could have been my mother.
So other than both working for state government we did not even have much in common.

 

[caitlincares]

I eventually ended up at another church which had a singles group.
I believe we were meeting every other week. We were doing a Bible/book study.
Again it ended up with only a core of 3 or 4 that showed up regularly.

A few of the folks were dating that is why they needed some weekends off to actually date.
The rest of us were just there for the fellowship.

It was okay but dwindled to nothing for lack of interest.

My self and one of the other ladies took it upon ourselves to continue to get together.
She had friends that are Wycliffe misisionaries so had a presentation from them one night along with a cookout.
People did come to that. I love listening to missionariesso I loved it.

 

[caitlincares]

At work someone told me about the group called WISDOM.
It was an interdenominational singles group.
It was for those widowed, divorced and never married.

I went once. They were truly a sad bunch.
Most of them had been divorced and were very angry.
It was a very depressing evening listening to them talk.

 

[LovinGod]

When I was in college (from Maine to Columbus, Ohio) I loved having the Single's group.
The leaders who were married with children were committed to us.
The husband also taught the Single Sunday School class.
We met as a group at least monthly. We tried to balance serious Bible study with just fun events.

I enjoyed it and liked that balance.
What was odd for me at that time was the age range and diversity.
There were some of us who were young adults, never married.
Then there were those that were divorced or widowed with children.

I must admit I preferred the events where children did not attend.
But I understood the need to allow that for the singles mothers.

Overall it was a great experience.
A few of us with more similar situations did become really good friends.
And we would hang out the other weekends that the full group could not.

I was still in college even though my two friends were already in the work force.
I was not looking for anything other than friends at the time.
School work had to come first.

Caitlin, how did you feel about having married people lead the Single's ministry?

 

[caitlincares]

The best experience was that first one.
It was a good balance. Everyone got a say as to what they wanted to do.

Realistically people are NOT going to be in the same place in the singleness.
And are not going to want the same thing out of a singles group.

When we did book studies we all agreed to what to do.
Certainly ask everyone what they want.
More likely to keep them that way.

One neat activity we did in Ohio was helping other. It brought us together as a group. One of our members was in a wheelchair with teenagers who did not help around the house. We surprised her one Saturday and did a major spring cleaning for her.

 

[caitlincares]

Caitlin, how did you feel about having married people lead the Single's ministry?

That was their minsitry. And they were serious about it.
They opened their home to use for Christmas parties.
I think the fact he taught our Sunday School class made us all feel more like family.

 

[Grunt]

I would be happy enough to have a singles group.

Well, ok, one that had people in it.

 

[Wild_Fan4Christ]

I had been going to a Baptist singles group which had bible studies every week, and activities planned every weekend. Well I had to stop going to this church and the bible studies because I am Catholic and I was having a hard time believing the once saved always saved and being told I was predestined to hell if I am not saved.

Nonsense, anyways...I enjoyed this group of people. There were people younger than me (25), people my age and people older than me. The leaders were married with children so seeing it from their viewpoint helped. Hearing about waiting for the right time and the right person to come along helped. I could see this in the marriages they have which are strong and devoted to each other and to God. One thing I did not like though is they made it sound like I would stay single forever.

I had a cookout at my house and had a lot of them over. They really enjoyed that and had a good time. It would be a good thing for fellowship which it was but the differing beliefs changed a lot of things including me not attending the church and the bible studies.

I am still friends with some of them in that group. Yes, they still try and push for me to join the church and believe in their doctrines. I have found this singles group for Catholics in my area. I talked with the President and she is going to call me tomorrow. They have a new member social on Wednesday. The only problem is I would be the youngest as everyone is over 30 and some are divorced. So, I am going to go and see how it goes. I hope to meet and network and hopefully meet some younger people in the area with the same beliefs. The lady said they have been trying to get younger people to join but most are turned away by the fact that they are all over 30.

 

[caitlincares]

Just another thought

Even this Singles Ministry forum is looked down upon by some.
I have invited a number of folks and some of them say "I'm fine - I'm not looking"
and they have no intention of visiting this forum.

Well personally I am fine and I am not looking.
To me that makes this forum attractive to interact with other Christian Singles.

 

[LovinGod]

Just another thought

Even this Singles Ministry forum is looked down upon by some.
I have invited a number of folks and some of them say "I'm fine - I'm not looking"
and they have no intention of visiting this forum.

Well personally I am fine and I am not looking.
To me that makes this forum attractive to interact with other Christian Singles.

Caitlin, I think that's an excellent point! A lot of singles (myself included) were/are hesitant about joining anything geared towards singles for fear of it being like a matchmaking service.

Unfortunately, I know that there are some people there for that specific reason.

 

[KeilCoppes]

... A lot of singles (myself included) were/are hesitant about joining anything geared towards singles for fear of it being like a matchmaking service.

Is that the fear of meetings where the massive, impressive, and bearlike yet lovable leader with the huge biceps wades out into the audience, and to their embarrassment grabs a guy in one arm, a girl in the other, sweeps them both of their feet, and to their astonishment gives them a huge bear hug and says beaming through his Viking beard - "I love you both - you should be together!" and them gives them such a hug that they get smothered in his beard?

 

[Living4Him03]

All singles ministries (of course) have their problems. We're still sinners (of course). However, some do have things going better than others. Just visiting one day, I saw in one singles ministry many things that were really good. At another singles ministry, I visited several times and found it hard to find what they were doing right.

For me, my first priority in finding a singles ministry/church is how dedicated to studying, knowing, and applying Gods Word they are. I also tend to prefer several options for bible study offered and studies that don't rely on a popular book to teach the lesson, unless it's the bible

Missions at home and abroad are also important to me. One group I visited has a ministry in a local area where there are several apartment complexes.

A sense of community is a must. If everyone just meets and no one seems to know each other very well that's scary. I don't mind if there are cliques going on. As long as the cliques are not "exclusive" and are more good friends who have known one another and are comfortable with each other. However, they do need to be the kind of group that reaches out to visitors, makes them feel welcome, and aren't fake. I also like a group that goes out and does stuff together after church and doesn't act snobbish to those who don't have time to be at every event.

That's all I can think of for now...those are the things I'm looking for anyway.

 

[karalianne]

I've never really been involved in a "Singles' Ministry".

I always seem to get involved in para-church organizations, like IVCF or TEC, that have regular gatherings, events, or services.

When I lived in Vancouver, I joined a Bible Study at my church, but it wasn't really a singles' group - more just an under-30's (and even that was open to interpretation: how old you are chronologically or how old you feel).

I don't even know if my current church has a singles' ministry. Most of my friends there are single, though, so we could probably start our own group if we really wanted to.