Single Romantics...

[PrincessFromOz]

What can we do with our love of romance while we are single?

I just love listening to romantic songs by the old crooners like Nat King Cole and Dean Martin... I also don't mind a good-old romantic comedy or chick flick (as long as it's not tooo mushy).

But do you reckon it's healthy for singles to think about romance a lot?
Or are we only hyping ourselves up in a way that will make things harder for ourselves when we go through a tough time?

If so, where could we channel our romantic desires until they can be unleashed on a significant other?
I'm thinking perhaps in doing kind things for friends, surprising others with encouragement or a nice card.... Any other ideas?

 

[Shazamataz]

I dont think it is healthy to be continually thinking about romance while we are single. That is not at all helpful to us, and often makes us sad and more lonely!! lol

Why dont you focus your romantic energy on Jesus? He is, after all, our one true love. And ask Him to close the door on such strong feelings until His timing for them to be awakened. Like it says in Song of Songs 2:7 Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and the does of the field: do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.

Kind things for friends, etc are all great ideas. A good way to serve your friends! But I find, that truly the best way is to focus those energies on Jesus Christ

 

[Cooch]

Hmmm.....

Slight shortage of damsels to slay and dragons to rescue. Is that the right way around?
I must be getting rusty.

But there are always righteous battles to be fought. Romance is not just about boy-meets-girl. (Which is fortunate, as Jesus is not a girl.) Courage, passion, sacrifice .... Romance without these is a pale thing and lacking the demands that bring out our best.

As single man, I do not yet know who my wife is.... but I can still be faithful to her, work for her, fight for her happiness. In this case, the dragons I have to face are my own. Cry havoc! and let slip the dogs of war!

Peter

 

[PrincessFromOz]

Those are both good points, Cooch and Shazamataz!

I mean, yeah clearly while single I love how I can just focus my attention on loving Jesus. That's probably the best part about it

I guess I was more thinking about whether it's a good thing to enjoy regular doses of romantic music and movies, or whether it's a good idea to avoid them Or somewhere in between...

 

[Holy Warrior]

I don't think there's a problem with those things, as long as they don't lead to you setting an impossible standard for a potential husband to reach.

I'm not saying that you should lower standards, not in any way, just that there is a danger of being so caught up in the idea of a perfect man, that you fail to notice when he walks by. Know what I mean?

What's your favourite crooner song, by the way? I'm rather fond of 'The best is yet to come,' though it's really rather hard to choose!

 

[plum]

nothing's wrong with enjoying love songs or romantic movies! where the "wrong" could happen is in your mind and heart... coveting or lusting after those moments to distraction...

 

[PrincessFromOz]

What's your favourite crooner song, by the way? I'm rather fond of 'The best is yet to come,' though it's really rather hard to choose!

Yep, it is really hard to choose! I would have to say "Unforgettable", "On the street where you live", or "Around the world", all by Nat King Cole

 

[Reia]

i ever wanted a bf much.. since i have been single for months..
i ever been sooo lonely and cried God.. i wanted to have it..
but more and more day, God hasnt given him to me yet..
i asked and asked it to God..
but still, i said..God.. Thy will be done.. not mine
more and more day.. i waited for it..
till now i waited for that..
but more and more day in that lonely feelings i learned to focused to God..
and to seek Him and His kingdom first..
now.. yeah.. i still want it.. still pray bout it.. but the most important thing for me is God.. and His kingdom in this world..
i think.. The most important thing is not what we want, but what GOD want

 

[HannahDianne]

I had bfs in d past w/c all didnt turned out ryt.. anyway, dis tym around.. I am willing to wait on God for my partner in life.. its hard tho.. but gettin into a relationship & breaking up after is harder so why bruised myself all over again..

anyway, i do luv listening to some love songs & all but too much of it makes me lonely! lol. So yah, I am focusing my mind instead on Jesus & how I can help advance HiS kingdom. I recently volunteer to be a teacher in one public high school, also got myself immersed in tentmakers mission fellowships & I read good books like Quest for Love by Elisabeth Elliot... its really emotionally & spiritually healthy for us to read books that encourages us to wait on God.. Cheers!

God Bless!

 

[Luther073082]

i ever wanted a bf much.. since i have been single for months..
i ever been sooo lonely and cried God.. i wanted to have it..
but more and more day, God hasnt given him to me yet..
i asked and asked it to God..
but still, i said..God.. Thy will be done.. not mine
more and more day.. i waited for it..
till now i waited for that..
but more and more day in that lonely feelings i learned to focused to God..
and to seek Him and His kingdom first..
now.. yeah.. i still want it.. still pray bout it.. but the most important thing for me is God.. and His kingdom in this world..
i think.. The most important thing is not what we want, but what GOD want

No offense honey because you are right. . . but some of us have been single for years. For me its been 8 years although I did date one girl for a month we where never together and I really didn't want to be with her.

So I just think its a bit easier to say for you.

on the topic of the OP.

I like romance songs but they only somtimes make me feel lonely. When they do though its a lot worse. It feels like every song has the same chorus. "You'll be alone the rest of your life."

 

[PrincessFromOz]

It depends on what mood I'm in too. Sometimes groovy love songs make me excited and happy about what is in the future!

Sometimes they help express some stuff that's inside too, like the sad ones...

I wonder, shouldn't Christian artists make a few more good love songs, to encourage singles... instead of avoiding them completely because that's what the world writes about?

Christian artists could make good quality clean songs that express what Christian singles and marrieds experience...

By the way, I like a song by Jars of Clay on this topic... but I can't remember the name of it...
I think the lyrics go something like..

"This is for all the single people,
Thinking that life has left them dry...
Don't give up until you
Drink from the silver cup
And ride the highway in the sky"

That song encourages me.

 

[plum]

real love songs are few and far between in any genre. I have really high standards for those I guess. And speaking of standards... hubba hubba! We need more songs like the old standards right about now.

 

[songz777]

Well us chaps can be very romantic, for me its a deep longing to be romanctic to someone. Romance invo;ves feelings and emotions and for me the Lord Jesus is the way of our let. I have even given Him a litttle love letter and said "I want to do for you what i would do for my love one day" cause I just put it under a rock and said "I know you have read it already but its just a way of showing I love you. Silly I know

 

[silentpoet]

It depends on what mood I'm in too. Sometimes groovy love songs make me excited and happy about what is in the future!

Sometimes they help express some stuff that's inside too, like the sad ones...

I wonder, shouldn't Christian artists make a few more good love songs, to encourage singles... instead of avoiding them completely because that's what the world writes about?

Christian artists could make good quality clean songs that express what Christian singles and marrieds experience...

By the way, I like a song by Jars of Clay on this topic... but I can't remember the name of it...
I think the lyrics go something like..

"This is for all the single people,
Thinking that life has left them dry...
Don't give up until you
Drink from the silver cup
And ride the highway in the sky"

That song encourages me.

Actually they just remade a song by the group America. And not a great remake in my opinion, the lyrics are good, but the remake is not that great. I do like the lyrics.

Songs, I don't really feel love for God/Jesus. Not in anything near that type of love. I have been hurt too many times to trust/love God right now. It would take a very specific miracle to buy my heart. I am willing to work for God to some extent, but unless God actually answers my prayers I don't think I can feel love for Him on anything approaching that level. I don't have anything to base the love on.

My theme song would have to be "Lonesome Loser" by the Little River Band. I don't know if it is quite what you would call romantic. But it is about the search for love.

 

[songz777]

Hi Silent poet, its funny coz the real pain that keeps you away from being close to God is the very pain that brought me close to God. For me I chose Faith as my liberator and not feelings.
FEELINGS said "God deson care He is unfair, why should I bother with Him?" FAITH said Gods word says He cares and loves me, God does not lie.
I chose faith. You should read my diary of how much pain in my heart I have had, and how cruel I thought God was. Yet this pain with CF help caused me to create a web site singlefornow which God has used. John

 

[PrincessFromOz]

Songs, I don't really feel love for God/Jesus. Not in anything near that type of love. I have been hurt too many times to trust/love God right now. It would take a very specific miracle to buy my heart. I am willing to work for God to some extent, but unless God actually answers my prayers I don't think I can feel love for Him on anything approaching that level. I don't have anything to base the love on.

Mate, I feel for you...

I guess for me personally, I love Jesus because of who he is; the most loving faithful friend I've ever had. I love him because he's saved me and changed my life from a mess into something worth living.

I hope and pray the same will be true for you

Do you feel like it was God who hurt you, or somebody else?

 

[silentpoet]

Even if I didn't have the issues I have, I don't think I would feel that way about God. Just not wired that way. I am romantic, but I don't think there is anything romantic about loving God.

I'll respond more later, maybe in PM. But right now I am tired and I have about 11-13 more hours of work today.

 

[PrincessFromOz]

Yep, and I'm going to bed...

 

[silentpoet]

I suppose I could possibly feel something more for God. Perhaps closer to this romantic type feeling as has been described. But I think given my current circumstance and my basic personality it would take a major change/miracle. There is one specific area where if God came through I think my emotional response would be on that level or beyond. I know how I would react. I am a romantic person, but due to my experiences and disappointments that aspect of myself has been repressed. What is the point of feeling something that does not have an outlet? Yet I would be willing to say if God came through and answered 1000s of specific prayers, I would probably feel that way about God. But until then I don't. The best I can do is choose to serve God within the limits of my ability and willpower.

 

[Cooch]

I take it that you're all familiar with the fact that there are several different words in the bible that are translated as "Love" in the English language.

I suggest that it can cause significant confusion when English-speakers use the same word to describe the relationship between God and mankind, as they do to describe the romatic love between a man and a women.

Respectfully Yours.......... Peter