Single and Looking?

theFijian · Dec 17, 2003

mina said:
It's possible to still desire it, but never get it. And God's grace will become sufficent and you will be able to deal with it even though that desire may not go away. Frankly I become very wary when people say they are called to get married or called to stay single. Most of that is based on feeling and emotion, which is deceptive. I don't know what God has for me, but I know I can trust Him no matter what it is.

I agree wholeheartedly.

Sign Of The Fish Burger · Dec 17, 2003

72_Chev_Truck said:
Hey all, just wondering how everyones doin tonight, also wondering how many of you get discouraged sometimes being single and waiting for that one Special person that God has for you?

discouraged: thats the understatement of the century in my life

laura_lynn · Dec 17, 2003

I have sort of come to the conclusion that if God sees fit to bring that special someone into my life, he will do it. Of course I will keep my eyes open, but it's kind of nice being single right now. It lets me concentrate on other things, and relationships take effort - effort I don't think I would be ready to put in right now, since life is very hectic with getting through college & working fulltime. All in God's timing! (that's my optimism there)

msjones21 · Dec 17, 2003

discouraged: thats the understatement of the century in my life

*huggles* I know the feeling, SotF, believe me. But, I will say this much...I got married right out of high school because people told us it was better to marry than be sinning sexually. Plus we thought it would be "way grown up looking", but that's another story. Anyway, we got divorced right before I turned 20 so by the time I was your age (not that you're that much younger than me, but just to illustrate my point LOL) I had been married and divorced. So time goes on and I've been divorced for not even a year when I meet a guy through my former job. We dated three weeks before moving in together. I got pregnant three weeks after that. My parents are having to help me raise my son and his "father" is nowhere in sight. So here I am, almost 23 and I've been divorced and I have a child by a man who was not my husband because impatience and discouragement consumed me and I made hasty choices outside of the will of God. I hope that someday God will put a man in my life who will understand and accept my past. How I desperately wish I could go back and just wait on the Lord instead of rushing to be grown up or because I wanted male companionship. I often wonder if I wouldn't have already met that man had I not exercised free will to choose the wrong path and stalled God's plan for me. I guess I won't know that until the day I go Home to be with my Father, but I do know this...if I could go back I would have chosen singleness until God blessed me with the perfect mate in His perfect timing. It would have spared me alot of heartache, grief, turmoil, and so on. I know it gets lonely, but it's not all it's cracked up to be either when it's outside the will of God.

charligirl · Dec 18, 2003

mina said:
God is not santa claus. There are lots of older single people who have never married but greatly desired to do so. .

Very true, but I also know some of these people who have spent so may years being hung up on 'is it God or not' when they have had opportunities, or seeking perfection that does not exisit, or waiting for God to write it in the sky in flames before they say yes... that they have missed what's under their nose.

I'm 32 and I met my husband this year, having spent 9 years single. Yes there were lonely times, times when I wondered if I would ever marry... but I do believe that if you desire to marry that is a sign that it is perfectly fine with God to do that. You don;t have to agonise over whether it is God's will or not.

No he is not Father Christmas, and he has given us reason, choice and a brain to make decisions... based on His word. I think we often get too hung up on 'THE ONE' there is no 'one' person for everyone, I think there are any number of people in the world that we could marry and God would be quite happy with the choice.

The important thing is to love God, and seek Him first, serve Him and get to understand yourself, don;t try and hurry to the next life stage, God's timing is perfect. Most of the posts on this thread are from those under 25, I can tell you if I had married then.. I think I would be inthe same position as MsJones. I'm so grateful to God for not giving me my husband until now... despite the 9 years without dating!

Onwardclimb · Dec 18, 2003

charligirl said:
I'm 32 and I met my husband this year, having spent 9 years single.

CONGRATS!!!!!!

Yes there were lonely times, times when I wondered if I would ever marry... but I do believe that if you desire to marry that is a sign that it is perfectly fine with God to do that. You don;t have to agonise over whether it is God's will or not.

I believe that what you're describing here is God's permissive will; while it may be "perfectly fine with God" etc... and that may appeal to some; I want NOTHING less than God's DIRECT will in regards to a mate aka. a marriage that HE has brought together, and NOT just something I bring together and He just gives His "okay" to.

No he is not Father Christmas, and he has given us reason, choice and a brain to make decisions... based on His word. I think we often get too hung up on 'THE ONE' there is no 'one' person for everyone, I think there are any number of people in the world that we could marry and God would be quite happy with the choice.

...I don't know , I tend to think God's happiest with HIS choice and when HE'S allowed to execute HIS plan for our respective lives (regardless of how many or how few "ones" He's got planned) withOUT interference from those who wish to use "reason, choice, and a brain to make (their own) decisions..." instead of following the Shepherd through the race HE has/had previously mapped out.

The important thing is to love God, and seek Him first, serve Him and get to understand yourself, don;t try and hurry to the next life stage, God's timing is perfect.

VERY MUCH AGREED!!!!!!

Most of the posts on this thread are from those under 25, I can tell you if I had married then.. I think I would be inthe same position as MsJones. I'm so grateful to God for not giving me my husband until now... despite the 9 years without dating!

Well, at 23, I'm ALMOST almost 25, j/k-LOL !!!!!

God bless,
Onwardclimb

charligirl · Dec 19, 2003

When I talked about not having to agonise if God wants us to marry I meant there are people who desire to marry.. but then worry that God has called them to be single. I think if you desire to be married then you don't have to worry you're called to celebacy... if you are called to celebacy then I believe God would take away the desire for marriage... He gives us thge desires of our hearts, He puts the desires there inthe first place.

Onwardclimb said:
CONGRATS!!!!!!

...I don't know , I tend to think God's happiest with HIS choice and when HE'S allowed to execute HIS plan for our respective lives (regardless of how many or how few "ones" He's got planned) withOUT interference from those who wish to use "reason, choice, and a brain to make (their own) decisions..." instead of following the Shepherd through the race HE has/had previously mapped out.

I believe God wants me to use choice and a brain to make my decisions.. that's why he gave us those abilities.... yes of course all the while praying and listening to the leading of the Holy Spirit.

Making my own decisions in this way does NOT mean I am not following the Shepherd through the race HE has mapped out... God allows us to make choices and leads us on the path .. we have to trust that He is big enough to guide us THROUGH our choices..... and shut the door when we get it wrong. The key is being open and prayerfull at every stage to allow Him to shut the door if necessary.

When I look back over my decision to marry and the process I came to the decision through, I can see that it was infact God's perfect will But He never wrote it in the stars in fire... or any of those other rock solid certain ways that are obvious. He took me on a journey where I learnt to trust Him and take the biggest step of faith since making the decision to follow Him.... I said YES to my fiance, God told me it was my choice... He even told me He categorically WOULD NOT tell me who to marry... He wanted me to make the choice and use my brain and my faith to do it and trust Him.

I'm not saying God does this for everyone.. I know people that God has categorically said 'YOU WILL MARRY HER' a directive..... I am saying you cannot be black and white about this, everyone has their own story to tell... don't just think that God only has one way of working and one way of telling you.. He may choose to guide you to your marriage partner in a way you're not expecting, if we only believe in one way then we could miss it.

God does not tell everyone in the same way.. If I had waited for God to reveal my husband in the way you are saying then I would still be single.. and perhaps when I got to my 50's be a bitter old spinster who felt God never gave her her husband. But then I had a problem with being responsible for my own decisions, I always wanted someone else to make them for me.... so I didn't have to trust and take a step into the unknown Then if it all went wrong I would have someone to blame. I know christians who have married the person they believe was God's perfect will... only to end up divorced, because when it went wrong they blamed God for His choice! I think God was teaching me to trust in my decisions, trust they are made with His guidance, trust that He would stop the process if I was off whack.

Just my story, as I said, others are very different.. but then we serve a wonderful and diverse God

Onwardclimb · Dec 19, 2003

When I talked about not having to agonise if God wants us to marry I meant there are people who desire to marry.. but then worry that God has called them to be single. I think if you desire to be married then you don't have to worry you're called to celebacy... if you are called to celebacy then I believe God would take away the desire for marriage... He gives us thge desires of our hearts, He puts the desires there inthe first place.

The thing is charligirl NOT all of our desires are from HIM. Some go against HIS will and HIS plan for us--no matter how lovely they may seem to us at present. Others are demonically inspired and yet and still others we are the author of and NOT Him. Just because we "desire" something does NOT mean that God desires it for us too.

I believe God wants me to use choice and a brain to make my decisions.. that's why he gave us those abilities.... yes of course all the while praying and listening to the leading of the Holy Spirit.

...but IF you're "praying and listening to the LEADING of the Holy Spirit", are you REALLY "making your OWN decisions"????????? It sounds to me like the Holy Spirit has ALREADY DECIDED. I mean, He'd pretty much have to in order to LEAD in the first place.

Making my own decisions in this way does NOT mean I am not following the Shepherd through the race HE has mapped out... God allows us to make choices and leads us on the path .. we have to trust that He is big enough to guide us THROUGH our choices..... and shut the door when we get it wrong. The key is being open and prayerfull at every stage to allow Him to shut the door if necessary.

Perhaps I'm misunderstanding you, but are you advocating testing each door to see which ones will open and which ones won't??? If so, how does that differ from testing (tempting) God and how does that differ from presumption????? Where is the leading/guidance/shepherding/patience/following in that?????? Sure, we will all have many MANY choices throughout life, but God's got a plan and I do believe He leads/guides/shepherds us in regards to it. If we're following HIS LEADING do we really need to "test" each door and take presumptuous leaps of faith or can we rest in our Shepherd's ability to lead and guide us to where HE wants us to be when HE wants us to be there????????

When I look back over my decision to marry and the process I came to the decision through, I can see that it was infact God's perfect will But He never wrote it in the stars in fire... or any of those other rock solid certain ways that are obvious. He took me on a journey where I learnt to trust Him and take the biggest step of faith since making the decision to follow Him.... I said YES to my fiance, God told me it was my choice... He even told me He categorically WOULD NOT tell me who to marry... He wanted me to make the choice and use my brain and my faith to do it and trust Him.

What puzzles me sooooooooooooooo much is that when we're using "faith...and...trust (in) Him" with decisions, I believe we're FOLLOWING GOD to HIS PREVIOUSLY FORMED DECISIONS... NOT making "our own" decisions...and once the decision He's guided/led us to make is formed do we have any claim to the honor of it??? Can we righteously claim that we've made the decision when God's the one who in His surpreme foresight guided us to what HE DECIDED was best and we merely excercised our free will in the following of HIM to it??????

I'm sorry, but I just can't go along with the brain thing, because to me logic, reason aka. "the brain" and faith and trust in God are oxymorons...they DON'T mix and God moves in ways soooooooooooooooooo far beyond our understanding that its really no wonder.

..... I am saying you cannot be black and white about this, everyone has their own story to tell... don't just think that God only has one way of working and one way of telling you.. He may choose to guide you to your marriage partner in a way you're not expecting, if we only believe in one way then we could miss it.

Very much AGREED, but then again God has a way of ensuring HIS WILL is NOT missed--as my 4 y/o nephew likes to say, "He's a God of second chances"!!!!!!!!!

God does not tell everyone in the same way.. If I had waited for God to reveal my husband in the way you are saying then I would still be single..

I doN'T remember advocating ANY way for Him to reveal, could you please clarify???? For the record, I believe as you do here that His revelation comes in VARIOUS ways and is FULLY dependent on how HE WANTS TO REVEAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But then I had a problem with being responsible for my own decisions, I always wanted someone else to make them for me.... so I didn't have to trust and take a step into the unknown

That's the beauty of having a Shepherd (23rd Psalms) who's in CONTROL and KNOWS all--to HIM there is NO "unknown" and if GOD'S guiding then I'm going whether my destination is clear/known to me or not. Its known to HIM and that's all that matters!!!!!!!

Then if it all went wrong I would have someone to blame. I know christians who have married the person they believe was God's perfect will... only to end up divorced, because when it went wrong they blamed God for His choice!

I DON'T believe that God makes mistakes, and who's to say that the people involved in the above scenario weren't following God. Following God doesN'T necessarily equal freedom from suffering etc... just ask Paul. I am following God in regards to a mate knowing full well that God's given my future mate and I both an instruction manual as to how to go about our marriage. If one or both of us messes up and doesn't follow God's instructions for our marriage does that mean that God didn't give us to each other???? NO!!!!! It just means that we've been reckless and careless with the gift God's given and that we've failed to follow His instructions, and we have to suffer the consequences of it.

I think God was teaching me to trust in my decisions, trust they are made with His guidance, trust that He would stop the process if I was off whack.

I'm afraid I have to STRONGLY DISAGREE with you here. I doN'T believe that God EVER wants us to trust in our own capabilities/decisions--that to me is HIS territory. Nor do I believe that God wants us to tempt Him and/or take presumptuous leaps of "faith". I've heard many MANY preachers say that God is NOT too fond of presumption/presumptuos acts and looking through the Bible I agree. Therefore I'm resigned to stay with my Shepherd and as the hymn says, "...wherever He leads I'll go...."

God bless you & THANKZ for your testimony!!!!!!!!!

YSIC,

Onwardclimb

charligirl · Dec 20, 2003

Onwardclimb said:
I'm sorry, but I just can't go along with the brain thing, because to me logic, reason aka. "the brain" and faith and trust in God are oxymorons...they DON'T mix and God moves in ways soooooooooooooooooo far beyond our understanding that its really no wonder.

I'm afraid I have to STRONGLY DISAGREE with you here. I doN'T believe that God EVER wants us to trust in our own capabilities/decisions--that to me is HIS territory. Nor do I believe that God wants us to tempt Him and/or take presumptuous leaps of "faith". I've heard many MANY preachers say that God is NOT too fond of presumption/presumptuos acts and looking through the Bible I agree. Therefore I'm resigned to stay with my Shepherd and as the hymn says, "...wherever He leads I'll go...."

God bless you & THANKZ for your testimony!!!!!!!!!

YSIC,

Onwardclimb

I think we will have to disagree then. If you study scripture.. particulary the OT you will see that God often does NOT give absolute directives, rather He allows the person to use their judgement in making decisions. I think sometimes God gives us a choice and He is fine with either of the options available. There are times where you can pray and pray and pray and pray and still God seems silent on the subject, sometimes in those cases God has said to me 'YOU choose' either option is ok with Me.

I am envy and admire you if you are always 100% sure of what God wants you to do in every life choice, in work, where to live, which college, which person to marry etc, I am certainly not in that place and there have been times when I have had to push doors and see if they open, because God has seemed silent. I have had job opportunities where I didn't know which to take, God seemed silent so I prayed that i would go for both and God would shut the door on the wrong path. I DO NOT for one minute advocate testing God in any way, and I don't believe this sort of way of making decisions is testing God.

'Laying fleeces' is another way to see what God want, but I think most christians are agreed that this is something more for younger christians who have not yet learnt to recognise God's voice.. there is nothing wrong with this but I think God wants to move us on from that sort of decision making as we mature.

Where we really disagree is the brain/logic verses faith/trust in God.. I cannot see these are oxymorons... where did logic and reason and the capacity to think and choose come from if not from God? if they came from God why did he give them to us, why give us free will if not for us to use them with His leading? because otherwise we would be muppets or robots only doing what we were forced to do.

God gave us brains and free will and logic and reason so we could mix them with faith and follow Him... to see them as totally opposed it like saying, 'I follow the Word but ignore the Holy Spirit' or vice versa... both are vital. We submit our brains and wills to God but we still use them to make choices to follow Him.

There are times when God moves powerfully and dramatically and supernaturally in showing us which choice to make... and sometimes he is silent and we have to make a decision with the best of our knowledge and judgement on what we know of the situation and Him.

I believe God speaks to us in many ways, dramatic signs are probably the least often, sometimes is through others, or even through councel with an elder, sometimes it is a circumstance that just seems to be a God appointed situation, it can be through Scripture or that 'gut' feeling. The 'gut' feeling is the most dangerous and open to abuse because our gut feelings are not neccessarily the Holy Spirit, they can come from our subconcious and be clouded with all sorts of rubbish from our past. Feelings in the most part I believe, should be ignored as a bad way to make decisions.

I'm sorry if I presumed you were expecting to know a certain way, I just got the impression from your posts that you were expecting some sort of 100% certain bolt of lightening to point to God's intented for you... sorry if I misjudged you, no offence meant.

Onwardclimb · Dec 20, 2003

I think we will have to disagree then.

I think so too.

If you study scripture.. particulary the OT you will see that God often does NOT give absolute directives, rather He allows the person to use their judgement in making decisions.

I have and do study the scriptures (OT included) and I have yet to see that principle.

I think sometimes God gives us a choice and He is fine with either of the options available.

I have also yet to see that principle in scripture. I believe that our only choice is whether or not to follow Him/His decisions.

There are times where you can pray and pray and pray and pray and still God seems silent on the subject, sometimes in those cases God has said to me 'YOU choose' either option is ok with Me.

I believe that in the times that God is silent we are to WAIT for an answer. I dont believe Hes relinquishing HIS AUTHORITY and HIS DIRECTION, HIS POSITION as Shepherd over to HIS sheep. I tend to follow the example of Habbakuk (OT) in those timesGod seemed not to answer him, and he didnt get an answer UNTIL he shut up and WAITED for one.

I am envy and admire you if you are always 100% sure of what God wants you to do in every life choice, in work, where to live, which college, which person to marry etc, I am certainly not in that place and there have been times when I have had to push doors and see if they open, because God has seemed silent.

Psssstttttits not good to be enviousJ/K,LOLJ!!!!!!! I wait for Him and He doesNT always answer when I want, nor in the way I expect, nor does He always answer with the answer I want. For instance, I graduated college last year and prayed and prayed for a jobguess what happened, instead of getting a job I got seriously ill and my illness has prevented me from working at all. Yet, God has through various ways told me to use this time to work on my booksnot quite the job I had in mindand although I still have trouble following His direction in regards to this, and I have been far less than obedient to Him, it does NOT change the fact that Ive still been given a job to do.

I have had job opportunities where I didn't know which to take, God seemed silent so I prayed that i would go for both and God would shut the door on the wrong path. I DO NOT for one minute advocate testing God in any way, and I don't believe this sort of way of making decisions is testing God.

Im afraid we disagree here too. Partially because I view trying to open every door to see which ones will open and which ones wont as a testing process, and since God is to be the one whos responsible for opening and sealing the doors the various doors, I believe that testing doors is equivalent to testing God to see which doors He will open and which He wont.

Where we really disagree is the brain/logic verses faith/trust in God.. I cannot see these are oxymorons... where did logic and reason and the capacity to think and choose come from if not from God? if they came from God why did he give them to us, why give us free will if not for us to use them with His leading? because otherwise we would be muppets or robots only doing what we were forced to do.

Youre right we do REALLY REALLY DISagree hereLOL!!!!!! I do NOT recall ever saying that our intellect didnt come from God, BUT I do NOT believe that intelligence matters much when it comes to Him. God says in His word that He chose the FOOLISH things of this world, and in countless places He speaks against earthly wisdom. Also, I doNT believe that GOD needs ANY help with HIS LEADING from our intellect or anyone elses. I believe He is quite capable of planning, leading, and executing HIS plans by HIMSELF, and the help of human intellect leads to negative consequences that could be easily avoided by just waiting upon the Lord. Think of Abraham and Sarah in relation to getting a son. God promised them a son and he took a looooooonnnnggg time about delivering it, and because of His silence Sarah took it upon herself (with the help of her intellect) to help God with HIS plan and while her presumption did produce Ishmael (NOT a good thing-- Gen. Ch.16 esp. vs.12, ch.17:18, 20, esp.21) she STILL had to WAIT for the promised son Isaac.

God gave us brains and free will and logic and reason so we could mix them with faith and follow Him...

Please point me to the verse that says the above. All the verses that talk about faiths relationship to reason/understanding/logic etc that I can think of speak of laying them down/putting them aside for faith. Kind of like Prov 3:5-6 TRUST in the LORD with ALL thine heart; and LEAN NOT UNTO THINE OWN UNDERSTANDING. 6-In ALL thy ways acknowledge HIM and HE shall DIRECT thy paths.

We submit our brains and wills to God but we still use them to make choices to follow Him.

I think our only choice is whether or not to follow Him as He leads us through life. Sometimes the choice to follow Him goes against every bit of logic and reason floating through our minds. Take for example the people or person who God leads to give up their good paying job etc to pursue a missionary career, and/or the disciples who God called away from their families. Also, consider the rich man who wanted to know what He had to do in order to be saved, and when Jesus told him the answer it went against his logic and he refused.

There are times when God moves powerfully and dramatically and supernaturally in showing us which choice to make... and sometimes he is silent and we have to make a decision with the best of our knowledge and judgement on what we know of the situation and Him.

Ive seen those times, but Ive come to a different conclusion. In those times when He is silent I wait expectantly for Him to speak. Like I said before, He doesnt always answer when I want, how I want, or with the answer I want, BUT HE always answers according to HIS will and in HIS timing. Waiting is NOT easy, and sometimes its the HARDEST thing to do, but then I remember who Im waiting for (THE LORD ALMIGHTY) and I know that I do NOT wait in vain!!!!!!!

I believe God speaks to us in many ways,

I agree!!!!!!!!

I'm sorry if I presumed you were expecting to know a certain way,

its okay!!!!!

I just got the impression from your posts that you were expecting some sort of 100% certain bolt of lightening to point to God's intented for you... sorry if I misjudged you, no offence meant.

None taken. I only expect Gods revelation, but BTW-a bolt of lightening would be very nice, indeedJ.I only hope that its gentle enough that we can recover from it, thoughj/k, LOL .

God bless,

Onwardclimb

Buskanaka · Dec 21, 2003

so if you got offered 2 jobs, and you couldnt decide which one to take, you wouldnt take either of them if God didn't tell you specifically which one to take? How will you know what doors are open if you never try any?

also about the abraham/sarah thing. They had a direct message from God through the angels, so the problem wasn't sarah using her intellect and making her own choice it was that she didn't trust God's promise and his ability to make it happen, she tried to hurry it up and make it happen herself. That is different to using your intellect to make a choice on something that God hasn't given you such a direct command about.

I agree with charligirl, i think God gave us logical reasoning minds because He wants us to use them. What's the point of making something if you don't want it to be used? I don't think He wants us to sit around all day waiting for Him to tell us what to do. He gave us intelligence, He gave us friends, He gave us the Bible, all of those things we can use to help us make decisions that are in line with His will. Then we just have to trust that God is in control and will work everything out for good, no matter what we choose.

I do believe that God can and does speak more directly to people, however I think that getting into the mindset of expecting it to happen all the time can become a problem when things do go wrong. If someone thinks that God told them to do a certain thing and it doesn't work out chances are they're going to blame God for their problems.

Onwardclimb · Dec 21, 2003

so if you got offered 2 jobs, and you couldnt decide which one to take, you wouldnt take either of them if God didn't tell you specifically which one to take? How will you know what doors are open if you never try any?

I follow Gods leading through which ever doors He may lead me to. IF I had 2 job offers etc Id take it to God and wait for HIS answer/leading in either direction.

...also about the abraham/sarah thing. They had a direct message from God through the angels,

Pssssttt they got the direct message from God through the angels AFTER the birth of Ishmael.

so the problem wasn't sarah using her intellect and making her own choice it was that she didn't trust God's promise and his ability to make it happen, she tried to hurry it up and make it happen herself. That is different to using your intellect to make a choice on something that God hasn't given you such a direct command about.

I see little or no difference. Abraham and Sarah were given a promise that Abraham would be the father of many nations. It wasnt happening, and there was no direct command about it (they were NOT told to wait X number of years/ NOR were they TOLD to try for children, or use handmaidens etc ), so Sarah used her intellect and devised a plan to try to make it happen, and got Ishmael as a result.

I agree with charligirl, i think God gave us logical reasoning minds because He wants us to use them. What's the point of making something if you don't want it to be used? I don't think He wants us to sit around all day waiting for Him to tell us what to do.

Waiting is a verb, it is NOT sitting around doing nothing!!!!! I believe that you do the best you can in the life position where you are when youre waiting until HE moves you elsewhere.

He gave us intelligence, He gave us friends, He gave us the Bible, all of those things we can use to help us make decisions that are in line with His will. Then we just have to trust that God is in control and will work everything out for good, no matter what we choose.

My thing is, that I do NOT believe that God is nor should ever be distant. I believe that God is/wants to be an active part of our daily lives. I believe that He is our Shepherd and our guide, and that Hes already mapped out a life course that He wants us to run. Its true that He does work all things for good, but that doesnt mean that we dont have to face a multitude of consequences (including missing out on His best/having added complications when we finally do get His best) when we stray from His plan/His will, because we think we know best/better than Him and or because He seems silent. Ive chosen to stay with my Shepherd and let HimNOT me--lead me through life.

I do believe that God can and does speak more directly to people, however I think that getting into the mindset of expecting it to happen all the time can become a problem when things do go wrong. If someone thinks that God told them to do a certain thing and it doesn't work out chances are they're going to blame God for their problems.

Ive seen that happen and it saddens me. However, Ive recently come to the conclusion that just because God tells you to do something/leads you some where/ to someone does NOT mean that when you get there it will be problem free. Sometimes God uses adverse situations/storms to test us and to grow us up spiritually. Sometimes He gives us thorns in the flesh and trials etc for our benefitto make us STRONGER.

God bless,

Onwardclimb

charligirl · Dec 22, 2003

I have to agree with Buskanaka, particularly about the Abraham Sarah thing.. they had a promise and were impatient and didn't wait on God, she went ahead and made a decision that could in no way be God's will... that is very different to prayerfully asking God for direction in making decisions and seeking Him through councel and scripture before making a choice.

When I have had more than one job offer I wish I had the luxury of waiting for God to answer.... there is usually a time limit by which you have to let them know, so in those cases I have asked God to shut the door of the wrong one so that I may walk through the door he has left open for me... and He has done every time!.. I cannot see how that constitutes 'testing' God.

Of course our lives are not problem free.. even when we are totally 100% in the centre of God's will, however I do not believe that God GIVES us tribulation situations EVER! He allows them, works through them and uses them for our good certainly, but they do not COME from him.

Onwardclimb said:
My thing is, that I do NOT believe that God is nor should ever be distant. I believe that God is/wants to be an active part of our daily lives. I believe that He is our Shepherd and our guide, and that Hes already mapped out a life course that He wants us to run. Its true that He does work all things for good, but that doesnt mean that we dont have to face a multitude of consequences (including missing out on His best/having added complications when we finally do get His best) when we stray from His plan/His will, because we think we know best/better than Him and or because He seems silent. Ive chosen to stay with my Shepherd and let HimNOT me--lead me through life.
Onwardclimb

Couldn't agree more! I don't think I said anything to disagree with that?!

I am categorically NOT advocating thinking we know best or better and so straying from His plan. The essence of what I am saying is that as believers with the Holy Spirit dwelling in us, God has given us a brain, He gives us wisdom, He gives us His word and fellow believers. In short we are filled with all the things we need to make decisions that are in line with God's will without waiting for some sort of direct or supernatural revelation fron God about what to do.

I'm not saying our minds and logic should be used instead of seeking God's will.... I am saying that God does not necessarily give obvious direction in every choice... rather He has given us His spirit, His wisdom to make those choices and because we do so with His spirit and wisdom we can be secure that they are within His will... even though we may not have had a specific directive from Him on the subject at hand.

Onwardclimb said:
I follow Gods leading through which ever doors He may lead me to. IF I had 2 job offers etc Id take it to God and wait for HIS answer/leading in either direction.
Onwardclimb

Out of interest, how would you know which was God's leading? what constitutes that for you? an inner impression? a direct word from a third party?

Onwardclimb said:
Waiting is a verb, it is NOT sitting around doing nothing!!!!! I believe that you do the best you can in the life position where you are when youre waiting until HE moves you elsewhere.
Onwardclimb

I agree it is a verb, but it's also worth considering that you have to start moving in order to be directed... a ship can be turned by the smalled rudder, but not if it's stationary, it has to already be moving forward and being active before it can be turned one way or another.

.

72_Chev_Truck · Dec 22, 2003

72_Chev_Truck · Dec 22, 2003

i think my thread got hijacked!

charligirl · Dec 22, 2003

72_Chev_Truck said:
i think my thread got hijacked!

Sorry!

mina · Dec 22, 2003

there's waiting and then there's waiting. Sometimes you are given choices to choose, sometimes there is nothing and you can't do anything but wait. If God surrounds you with people to choose for a mate then I say go for it. If there is no one around you that is even close to your age, or is a Christian , or whatever, then it's ok to wait and not settle. God works differently in each situation. The point is that you have to be listening to His voice in your situation.

Onwardclimb · Dec 23, 2003

charligirl said:
I have to agree with Buskanaka, particularly about the Abraham Sarah thing.. they had a promise and were impatient and didn't wait on God, she went ahead and made a decision that could in no way be God's will...

Im confused, how was she to know that it could in no way be Gods will??? as she said in that chapter, she WAS barren, and the promise given before she decided to do what she did was that ABRAHAM would be the physical father of many nations NOT her.

that is very different to prayerfully asking God for direction in making decisions and seeking Him through councel and scripture before making a choice.

I have NO problem with the above, however, I do believe that IF you ask God for somethingdirection includedthat you should wait for and expect an answer. What good is asking if you don't wait for an answer.

When I have had more than one job offer I wish I had the luxury of waiting for God to answer.... there is usually a time limit by which you have to let them know, so in those cases I have asked God to shut the door of the wrong one so that I may walk through the door he has left open for me... and He has done every time!.. I cannot see how that constitutes 'testing' God.

I guess were going to have to just agree to disagree there, because I can see it no other way.

Of course our lives are not problem free.. even when we are totally 100% in the centre of God's will, however I do not believe that God GIVES us tribulation situations EVER! He allows them, works through them and uses them for our good certainly, but they do not COME from him.

I cant really remember the exact scripture, but didnt Paul say that God GAVE him a thorn in the flesh.

Out of interest, how would you know which was God's leading? what constitutes that for you? an inner impression? a direct word from a third party?

I understand very well your position, however, I couldnt DISagree more with it. I think IF Gods leading, then the decisions as to where to go has been made BY HIM, and I believe in waiting to receive that leading before moving. How would I know which was Gods leading? Well, my experience has been that He comes in various ways, as many times as necessary for me to get the picture. I cannot answer what constitutes His leading, because as I said before it comes in multiple ways, and usually it does NOT come in the way or the time that I expect it.

I agree it is a verb, but it's also worth considering that you have to start moving in order to be directed... a ship can be turned by the smalled rudder, but not if it's stationary, it has to already be moving forward and being active before it can be turned one way or another.

Im not a boat person, but I will say that I do NOT believe in the above principle. I believe that the wisest thing one can do in life is to wait upon the Lord before moving in any direction. Just to clarify: currently I am moving as all God's vessels are in the ocean of lifeonly Im moving in the life situation that HES placed me in, and by the grace of God I will stay put and NOT move elsewhere without HIS leadingwhichever way He may choose to bring it.

I hope that brings us to a better understanding

.

God bless,

Onwardclimb

Rainbow. · Dec 23, 2003

Don't be discouraged! I have a brand new site called Holy Dates where fellowship, friendship, love, ggod clean fun can may be found.

http://holydates.proboards24.com/index.cgi

Onwardclimb · Dec 23, 2003

72_Chev_Truck said:
i think my thread got hijacked!

SORRY Chev..!!!!!!

Charligirl,
perhaps its best if we continue our conversation through PMs.

God bless,
Onwardclimb

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