single and fighting bitterness

[amariselle]

For what its worth, while what you said is entirely true, it is not necessarily desirable to have children in your case yet. I know supposedly Freakenomics published that children born when the mother was 25 or older did better than when the mother was younger. And in your case you are just now entering the demographic "sweet spot" to achieve these things (25-35 is considered the perfect time period to have children, earlier or later significantly increases the risk of complete financial calamity...and if that sounds minor, trust someone who's lived through one in that it isn't).

Hmm...perhaps generally speaking those who become parents before the age of 25 struggle more financially, but I think that such a statement can only be applied in a general way. There are some who are younger that have reached a time in life where they can support children, and there are some who are over 35 who may not be able to. So, it all depends on the individual person and their particular circumstances. Also, the financial aspect is very important of course, but so is maturity, and the desire to have a family, and I do not believe that there is any set age that is appropriate for every person, it is a very personal decision, and requires that you really think of where you and your partner are in this regard, and no one else can tell you definitively that you should or should not have children. (Unless of course there are glaring issues). But what I mean is that if you are prepared financially, well then other things are also to be considered, and there is no right or wrong age for it insofar as someone would be able to say that everyone should have children only between the ages of 25 and 35, and that it rarely ever works out at any other time.

 

[GQ Chris]

In any place and cirumstance in life there are two choices: Continue to fight to achieve what you want (recognizing that bitterness is counterproductive in this case) or give up (where it doesn't matter if your bitter or not). If you wish to continue with the former, find something that will enable you to make some kind of difference in people's lives and remember that 26 is not a horrible place to be(how is it that people younger than you are already married, are they getting married while still students?) in not having achieved this place in life.

In the case of my ever hoping to get married, I've since given up, as my finances (due to a total of approx. 2.5 years of having to live on maybe $13,000 a year on average) won't recover until I'm at least 35. And I won't state what I think of the "middle age and later" first marriages because that will only make everyone angry. So rather than go into something that I consider worse than not having it at all, I've given up. I'm working on weaning myself off of ever needing to feel emotionally close to someone right now, next the really hard part of confronting biology (you think only women have the desire to have children?). I'm making my piece with the fact that, as a childless never to marry man I only have 25 more years (that's the max for normal income, never married men, you get 55 and your out, heck the never married in perfect health are usually the one's getting surprise heart attacks at mid-50s, so don't tell me that's just about taking care of yourself).

What do you mean by you only having 25 more years? Are you talking lifespan?

 

[IDDQD]

Single women live longer than married women.

True story, guys.

 

[GQ Chris]

Single women live longer than married women.

True story, guys.

Really?

 

[amariselle]

Single women live longer than married women.

True story, guys.

Where did you hear of that?

 

[IDDQD]

Really?

Depends on what source you read. I was being (somewhat) silly in my last post (when am I not being silly? Wait, don't answer that.). I've read a lot on the matter. However, the general consensus I got from the readings I've done is that married men live longer than single men, and single women live longer than married women.

Granted, different articles will say different things based on who and where such articles are from. I tend to stick closer to academic journals and the ones I read have been consistent with what I said.

Of course, someone could read the same things I have and come across a different conclusion, so I guess ultimately it boils down to a point of view issue.

I would provide a link to those academic articles. However, you have to be in college or have a subscription to access them. Still, it couldn't hurt to try this site for finding said articles:

EBSCO – EBSCOhost Online Research Databases

You might get lucky and be able to access it.

 

[IDDQD]

Where did you hear of that?

Depends on what source you read. I was being (somewhat) silly in my last post (when am I not being silly? Wait, don't answer that.). I've read a lot on the matter. However, the general consensus I got from the readings I've done is that married men live longer than single men, and single women live longer than married women.

Granted, different articles will say different things based on who and where such articles are from. I tend to stick closer to academic journals and the ones I read have been consistent with what I said.

Of course, someone could read the same things I have and come across a different conclusion, so I guess ultimately it boils down to a point of view issue.

I would provide a link to those academic articles. However, you have to be in college or have a subscription to access them. Still, it couldn't hurt to try this site for finding said articles:

EBSCO – EBSCOhost Online Research Databases

You might get lucky and be able to access it.

Beyond that, you could always try a standard Google Search or Google Scholar search. Your results may vary from the readings, though. :v

Try this article for starters:

ScienceDirect - Social Science & Medicine : Gender differences in health in later life: the new paradox?

 

[soccerdad66]

That's not what this article suggest:

Department of Health & Ageing -Marriage Increases Life Expectancy

 

[IDDQD]

That's not what this article suggest:

Department of Health & Ageing -Marriage Increases Life Expectancy

Depends on what source you read.

Granted, different articles will say different things based on who and where such articles are from.

Someone didn't read those parts of my post which pretty much pointed out what you did. )';

 

[soccerdad66]

Must've missed that

 

[Niels]

In terms of how things will actually pan out in our lives, family history and personal experience are better indicators than statistical averages. Still, there are no guarantees either way.

 

[amariselle]

In terms of how things will actually pan out in our lives, family history and personal experience are better indicators than statistical averages. Still, there are no guarantees either way.

Very true. There are no absolute gaurantees in how it goes for everyone in this life. And statistics just look at large groups of people and show how things usually are on average, they don't get to each individual person.

 

[GQ Chris]

very true, only thing guaranteed is death and taxes

 

[Im_A]

In terms of how things will actually pan out in our lives, family history and personal experience are better indicators than statistical averages. Still, there are no guarantees either way.

You summed up exactly how I feel about marriage, love with the opposite sex quite well man.

 

[divinesong]

thanks

 

[IDDQD]

very true, only thing guaranteed is death and taxes

Unless you're a CEO of a major company who has his money hidden away in a Swiss bank account. Then it's just death. :v

Until they find a way to use that money to bring him back to life.

Onoes conspiracy theories bill gates will live forever noooooooooooooiodsgjkagnbjchfvzhjbvfhjdbdjvb

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