Did you get any signs or indicators it was wise to marry the person you did? Hw was God involved in your selection?
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Signs?
- Thread starter proverbswisdom
- Start date
Great topic.
We both got some direction. We didn't share everything until later.
Someone I knew who prayed for me said she'd seen my future wife in a vision. So I prayed and told the Lord, "The things that are revealed belong to us and our children forever." If He'd shown my wife to someone else, that belonged to 'us' didn't it, not just that person. And it's my future wife, so I asked to see her.
I had a vision, zooming out from my wife's eye. I remember bushy eyebrows, and a kind of oily face. My wife takes good care of herself-- keeping her face from being oily, and plucking her eyebrows. Later, when I was seeing my wife, I saw an old picture from before she started plucking her eyebrows. It was a sort of confirmation.
I was praying to meet my wife, and it seemed the Lord had told me I would that month.
The day my wife and I had our first conversation, I was visiting her Bible college in her country. I'd been to the library, where they had a number of English books on the recommendation of a professor there. She sensed the Lord speaking to her to stop and speak with me. She prayed in her heart, "I am a shy Asian girl. I can't go talk to a man like that." She already knew the young man I was talking to in the cafeteria room where we were that you had to pass through to go to the library. So she sat down next to him, sort of across from me, and asked him if he knew a certain song. He was holding a guitar.
I started praying after I talked to her that day about whether she was to be my wife. She told me after we married that she knew I was to be her husband. I guess the Lord had shown her. When I called and left a message for her the first time I tried to reach her, she said she went into her room and jumped up and down.
As I prayed about whether she was to be my wife at first, it seemed like the Lord was speaking to my heart and saying 'yes.' Some later when I'd pray and ask, it seemed like He was saying "Yes, why don't you believe Me?" (Not something you want to hear, but a fair question.) Early on, she got upset during one conversation, and I prayed about it. It seemed to me the Lord told me a story about her past which explained her reaction. The next time we talked, she told me that story. You'd think I'd have been completely sure I was hearing right about the marriage issue, too. It took me a while to be completely sure-- and it happened when I stepped out in faith and told the Lord I believed He was telling me she was the one and I believed I should marry her for certain reasons and said them. I told Him I was going to go buy an engagement ring and propose, and if He didn't want me to do it, I asked him to stop me or tell me to stop. I was completely sure when I did that.
I would have loved to have had a prophetic confirmation of what I believed the Lord was telling me during this time. It wasn't until after I made that decision that we went to a church meeting. I didn't have a chance to talk to him before the service, but an American evangelist from the state I'd been living in was in the country. I knew him but hadn't seen him since I met the woman who was to be my wife since he had been back in the US. My future wife and I were sitting together. He called us up at the end of the service and prophesied about us going to many places together and ministering to many people. The clear implication to me was that we would be together, which strongly implied marriage in my mind.
I asked him after the service if he was afraid of giving prophecies like that. He said he used to be but he wasn't anymore. I told him I had been planning to buy a ring for her. (I had a specific plan for two nights later.) He said 'It's about time.' Three days later, I proposed.
Two separate people on different occasions told us that verse about a three fold strand not easily being broken-- her, me, and the Lord. I hadn't heard that as a marriage verse, at least not normally.
So we got married and had another wedding party in the US. An assistant pastor at the church my parents went to was there. He seemed to be prophetically gifted. He prayed a blessing over us there, and he quoted that verse about the cord of three strands during his prayer, saying the third strand was Jesus. It seemed like one of those word of knowledge or prophecy type prayers. I found that to be interesting.
My wife had another kind of specific prophecy many years before, but this message is getting rather long already.
We both got some direction. We didn't share everything until later.
Someone I knew who prayed for me said she'd seen my future wife in a vision. So I prayed and told the Lord, "The things that are revealed belong to us and our children forever." If He'd shown my wife to someone else, that belonged to 'us' didn't it, not just that person. And it's my future wife, so I asked to see her.
I had a vision, zooming out from my wife's eye. I remember bushy eyebrows, and a kind of oily face. My wife takes good care of herself-- keeping her face from being oily, and plucking her eyebrows. Later, when I was seeing my wife, I saw an old picture from before she started plucking her eyebrows. It was a sort of confirmation.
I was praying to meet my wife, and it seemed the Lord had told me I would that month.
The day my wife and I had our first conversation, I was visiting her Bible college in her country. I'd been to the library, where they had a number of English books on the recommendation of a professor there. She sensed the Lord speaking to her to stop and speak with me. She prayed in her heart, "I am a shy Asian girl. I can't go talk to a man like that." She already knew the young man I was talking to in the cafeteria room where we were that you had to pass through to go to the library. So she sat down next to him, sort of across from me, and asked him if he knew a certain song. He was holding a guitar.
I started praying after I talked to her that day about whether she was to be my wife. She told me after we married that she knew I was to be her husband. I guess the Lord had shown her. When I called and left a message for her the first time I tried to reach her, she said she went into her room and jumped up and down.
As I prayed about whether she was to be my wife at first, it seemed like the Lord was speaking to my heart and saying 'yes.' Some later when I'd pray and ask, it seemed like He was saying "Yes, why don't you believe Me?" (Not something you want to hear, but a fair question.) Early on, she got upset during one conversation, and I prayed about it. It seemed to me the Lord told me a story about her past which explained her reaction. The next time we talked, she told me that story. You'd think I'd have been completely sure I was hearing right about the marriage issue, too. It took me a while to be completely sure-- and it happened when I stepped out in faith and told the Lord I believed He was telling me she was the one and I believed I should marry her for certain reasons and said them. I told Him I was going to go buy an engagement ring and propose, and if He didn't want me to do it, I asked him to stop me or tell me to stop. I was completely sure when I did that.
I would have loved to have had a prophetic confirmation of what I believed the Lord was telling me during this time. It wasn't until after I made that decision that we went to a church meeting. I didn't have a chance to talk to him before the service, but an American evangelist from the state I'd been living in was in the country. I knew him but hadn't seen him since I met the woman who was to be my wife since he had been back in the US. My future wife and I were sitting together. He called us up at the end of the service and prophesied about us going to many places together and ministering to many people. The clear implication to me was that we would be together, which strongly implied marriage in my mind.
I asked him after the service if he was afraid of giving prophecies like that. He said he used to be but he wasn't anymore. I told him I had been planning to buy a ring for her. (I had a specific plan for two nights later.) He said 'It's about time.' Three days later, I proposed.
Two separate people on different occasions told us that verse about a three fold strand not easily being broken-- her, me, and the Lord. I hadn't heard that as a marriage verse, at least not normally.
So we got married and had another wedding party in the US. An assistant pastor at the church my parents went to was there. He seemed to be prophetically gifted. He prayed a blessing over us there, and he quoted that verse about the cord of three strands during his prayer, saying the third strand was Jesus. It seemed like one of those word of knowledge or prophecy type prayers. I found that to be interesting.
My wife had another kind of specific prophecy many years before, but this message is getting rather long already.
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DZoolander
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I'd say the fact that no matter how often I saw her, I looked forward to seeing her again, and never got bored of talking to her/being around her.
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That happened to a friend of mine too. I think someone can be the right person who God sees you are compatible with and would have a great relationship with - and still choose to botch God's plans. Sorry that happened to you
I'm curious though, what green lights did you see and how long were you married for? Did problems develop early on or did it take some time?
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CounselorForChrist
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I use to think everything was a sign when I was with someone. I was also desperate. SO if I happen to turn on the tv and there was a romantic scene going on I would say "Its a sign!". >.>
So before meeting my current fiance I learned to look for REAL signs. I have to admit after lots of prayer and fasting I felt actual signs. Signs I couldn't even describe really. As if God put his hand on my shoulder and said "She is the one my son!". Which is pretty much what she felt. I say once your near 30 you realize when somethings an actual sign and not just you turning everything into a sign.
I will say just because God gives you a sign doesn't mean the marriage will work. We are still human and we can mess up things. Its why its always important you REALLY talk and communicate with whoever you with. It literally will make your marriage better. If you feel weird about something talk about it. If you need to question the person, tell them. If you looked sinfully at another man (or woman) repent and tell the person you are with.
They may not like things like that better to be honest and have someone annoyed at you then to lie and have them find out the hard way and totally destroy your marriage.
So before meeting my current fiance I learned to look for REAL signs. I have to admit after lots of prayer and fasting I felt actual signs. Signs I couldn't even describe really. As if God put his hand on my shoulder and said "She is the one my son!". Which is pretty much what she felt. I say once your near 30 you realize when somethings an actual sign and not just you turning everything into a sign.
I will say just because God gives you a sign doesn't mean the marriage will work. We are still human and we can mess up things. Its why its always important you REALLY talk and communicate with whoever you with. It literally will make your marriage better. If you feel weird about something talk about it. If you need to question the person, tell them. If you looked sinfully at another man (or woman) repent and tell the person you are with.
They may not like things like that better to be honest and have someone annoyed at you then to lie and have them find out the hard way and totally destroy your marriage.
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iambren
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The green lights--I had given myself 6 months to "pee or get off the pot" in getting over my commitment fears (we had dated for 5). I took off after service before that date, had fasted 1 week, traveled and stopped at a lonely hotel.
My fear and my love for her fought inwardly until I laid out a sheet and listed what I liked and disliked about her. I also had notes from that days sermon and it all simply clicked. What joy!!! I felt like a fool for not realizing how precious she was previous to that time. A deep certainty and the Lord's purpose entered my heart, I proposed and we were married 3 months later.
Wedding, honeymoon, buying our first cute little home the first year went great. However, toward the end of the year she began pulling away sexually/emotionally. Very confusing and when I asked why she on two occasions said "Don't take it personally, it has nothing to do with you". Well the pain of rejection deepened, she got to the point of no kissing or shying away from even a hug. Arguments flared and the atmosphere got toxic. I moved out at 11 years, we divorced at 15. The story has a longer form and I can expand over PM if you wish.
She had been neglected to a playpen as a child and sexually abused as a toddler which probably drove a lot of this. Maybe she thought she could pull it off but in the end didn't have the emotional skills for being married. Today we have an underlying warmth, support, and trust that many marriages would like to have. Neither of us has hooked up with others. It's a sad story. Why God gave me such assurance to marry her is one that I'll take to my grave. Within the first 3 years we did have 2 boys (I remember their conception days), against all fertility odds, and they are fine Christian young men. God has His ways but I will confess to you that if she were to face her fears of, an seek healing I would do all to make our home intact.
My fear and my love for her fought inwardly until I laid out a sheet and listed what I liked and disliked about her. I also had notes from that days sermon and it all simply clicked. What joy!!! I felt like a fool for not realizing how precious she was previous to that time. A deep certainty and the Lord's purpose entered my heart, I proposed and we were married 3 months later.
Wedding, honeymoon, buying our first cute little home the first year went great. However, toward the end of the year she began pulling away sexually/emotionally. Very confusing and when I asked why she on two occasions said "Don't take it personally, it has nothing to do with you". Well the pain of rejection deepened, she got to the point of no kissing or shying away from even a hug. Arguments flared and the atmosphere got toxic. I moved out at 11 years, we divorced at 15. The story has a longer form and I can expand over PM if you wish.
She had been neglected to a playpen as a child and sexually abused as a toddler which probably drove a lot of this. Maybe she thought she could pull it off but in the end didn't have the emotional skills for being married. Today we have an underlying warmth, support, and trust that many marriages would like to have. Neither of us has hooked up with others. It's a sad story. Why God gave me such assurance to marry her is one that I'll take to my grave. Within the first 3 years we did have 2 boys (I remember their conception days), against all fertility odds, and they are fine Christian young men. God has His ways but I will confess to you that if she were to face her fears of, an seek healing I would do all to make our home intact.
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Just be careful you're not "laying out fleeces" and "praying for direct signs from Heaven"
in my opinion there's a danger to that
Best thing you can do? Ask other people's opinions. Pray about it, a lot. Talk to a pastor. If you're engaged, do some pre-marital counseling together.
in my opinion there's a danger to that
Best thing you can do? Ask other people's opinions. Pray about it, a lot. Talk to a pastor. If you're engaged, do some pre-marital counseling together.
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What if God wants you to get back with her again and that He never wanted you two to break up in the first place? I don't know God's will, I'm just saying...from reading your story, it seems like a possibility. It seems that she needed to really work out some deep issues from her past, but didn't. If she has worked through them and found healing, what would stop you from trying it again if you two are still very close? I know it would be scary but...
Something to think about. I'm not saying "Go do this!" nor am I speaking for God. I'm just saying what I feel from my perspective.
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iambren
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Thank you for the sentiment. But one thing you learn right away when you get married is that you're married to ANOTHER person. She has now explained away the true comments she made early in the marriage and stayed fairly well hidden behind walls of fear and blame. At this point I don't see how those walls could be faced, let alone knocked down.
We do live a very congenial life and wish each other well. Sad story for sure.
I do agree with the earlier poster who said not to look for some magical sign to appear and to do fleeces, words of knowledge etc. It's a tough decision to give your life in matrimony. Maybe God let's us sweat it out to build character and to feel the gravity of it all and to step out in faith.
We do live a very congenial life and wish each other well. Sad story for sure.
I do agree with the earlier poster who said not to look for some magical sign to appear and to do fleeces, words of knowledge etc. It's a tough decision to give your life in matrimony. Maybe God let's us sweat it out to build character and to feel the gravity of it all and to step out in faith.
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