Signs that my husband is cheating on me... how can I know for sure?

[feelinghopeless]

We have been married for over a year, and our marriage has been pretty shaky most of the time. Not too long ago I found condoms in his jacket and when I asked him about them he said he bought them a couple months back for us and they have been in his jacket since... the time that he said he bought them I was already pregnant(he knew that) and we would not be needing condoms, and we never used them during our marriage to start with so why now? He promised me that he was not cheating, made everything seem fine, so I let it go because I don't have anything else to prove it. Today I found 1 condom in his shorts which he wore the night we had an argument and he left... it was totally different from the other ones I found and usually they come in a pack and this was only 1. If like he said about the other ones that just one time he bought condoms for us, then why would he have more from a completely different brand...
Am I going crazy or can he possibly be cheating on me?

 

[GutterRat]

I think it's fair of you to be suspicious.

 

[Chrystal-J]

I'm not sure cuz I don't know your husband or you, but if it were me--I would think something's up.
(So sorry to hear about this...)

 

[Amélie Unbound]

I agree with the above posters. I'm sorry to say that the situation doesn't sound good.

I am trying to think of a logical reason why he might have two different brands of condoms, at two different times, when the two of you don't even use condoms, but I can't think of one.

Hugs to you, and I'm praying everything will work out okay.

 

[Autumnleaf]

You are justified in being suspicious. Ask him about it and watch his eyes when he answers. See what they betray or convince you of.

 

[feelinghopeless]

I want to trust him, and it kills me not knowing what is going on. I want a good life for our unborn child and for the two of us to be happy. I don't know what to do... more on my situation in married couples only.

 

[Nyssa]

I'd be very worried too...Have a talk with him. I really hope you get an answer to put your mind at rest Know you can always unburden yourself to us, here!

 

[feelinghopeless]

I tried talking to him today over the phone, because if I do in face to face he will most likely storm out and be gone for the rest of the day. I was calm about it, and asked why would he have different condoms at different times and if I could get an explanation... and that I am not accusing him of anything but would like a reasonable answer and to be sure that he is not cheating on me... he got in a huge fit, said that there was only one because he gave one to his friend and the other one is still in the package... I wanted to know why this one is out of the package if he did not intend on using it... he got even angrier and said if I keep asking him questions and not trusting him then he will start cheating on me and he hung up...
40 minutes later he calls me as if nothing happened, said his mother called and invited us for dinner.
I am so broken up inside, there is no point in confronting him anymore because it will only make things worse... I don't know what to do and Ive been so deppressed and crying alot lately which is not good for the baby

 

[MERCY@GRACE]

I tried talking to him today over the phone, because if I do in face to face he will most likely storm out and be gone for the rest of the day. I was calm about it, and asked why would he have different condoms at different times and if I could get an explanation... and that I am not accusing him of anything but would like a reasonable answer and to be sure that he is not cheating on me... he got in a huge fit, said that there was only one because he gave one to his friend and the other one is still in the package... I wanted to know why this one is out of the package if he did not intend on using it... he got even angrier and said if I keep asking him questions and not trusting him then he will start cheating on me and he hung up...
40 minutes later he calls me as if nothing happened, said his mother called and invited us for dinner.
I am so broken up inside, there is no point in confronting him anymore because it will only make things worse... I don't know what to do and Ive been so deppressed and crying alot lately which is not good for the baby

First i wanted to say, welcome to the forums Sorry you couldn't have come under diff circumstances. I can see (maybe) believing the condom story once,but twice is more than suspicious, and his reactions to your questions seem a little suspect. Suspected affairs are hard to prove unless you have the actual proof in your hands, so having proof but not proof beyond the shadow of doubt...is probably harder to deal with.


What are some other signs? Does he go out often w/ the 'buddies'. Does he come home at diff times every day/night. I s he acting restless or distant? You know your hubby better than we do, and deep down you probably know whether he is or not. Question is....what do you do from here, and are there boundaries that need to be made. Ask your hubby to put himself in your shoes, ask him what would be his reaction if he saw condoms in your purse. Even if he is innocent he should be more understanding of your suspicions. Praying for you. Ask God to reveal if he is being unfaithful to you, he will show you. I've had friends that prayed that, and God showed em.

 

[fulltime]

They usually sell comdoms in packs, but you can buy them individaully. I really pray that that your husband is not cheating on you. I am a man and I do have needs like any other man.I did go without sex twice for 1 year each time. It was really hard being that that I am in the military.Our first year of marriage together was about 3 months together. After that I was gone. Then I learned the phase,"If the military wanted you to have a wife they would have issued you one". That was very hard to swallow. But since then I have been married for 18 years.We still have our ups and downs,but hope for the best for you.

 

[hollymarie1122]

praying for your situation

 

[whatseekye]

Please make sure that you and your unborn child are safe. This isn't a time to be fighting. I always worry when I hear of a pregnant woman or a woman with a new baby getting in to a serious argument with her boyfriend or husband because unfortunately emotions can escalate in to harmful situations for new moms. Something minor such as a little shoving could lead to you falling over or getting hurt. So please be careful and if your husband wants to be angry, give him his space right now and don't push the situation too far. If I were you, I would go home to my parents for awhile if things get out of hand. If you have no family close by, look in to some sort of safe place for you. I pray that God will help you and your husband during this difficult time.

 

[TheAJKMan]

feelinghopeless, can't say that I'd want to be in your shoes right now. Ugly situation you're in, and one in which I unfortunately have to agree with the majority view that he is cheating on you. The signs are classic of that type of behaviour. WIll keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Seek professional counsel, talk to an older christian woman whom you trust and may GOd be guarding and guiding your every step.

TheAJKMan

 

[Mrs. Enigma]

Well, its too bad, but I think he is cheating. I mean, his excuse sounded super duper lame.

 

[mom_one]

I will pray foor you & him that he is not cheating on you may God bless you

 

[Torah]

Edit.

 

[LynnMcG]

I'm so sorry this is happening to you

While I have not been in this situation, I know what it feels like to have unrest and a lack of trust in a marriage. The only thing that ever made a difference to me, was praying. You can ask him all the questions you want, over and over again. But whether he's lying or not, you're not going to get a different answer from him. And it's not going to change the situation. You need to find some peace.

Grab your concordance and do a search. Find some scriptures you can take hold of and meditate on. Regain your peace. Right now your primary responsibility is being a child of God, being a wife, and growing that baby.

Seek God. Keep your promise as a wife and do your job. Because at the end of the day, all you are responsible for are these things in God's eyes. God will honor your faithfullness. He promises to do that! And God doesn't go back on His promises the way people do.

Praying for you and yours...

 

[Alpine]

Why would he be carrying condoms to hand out to friends and he never uses them with you??

This makes zero sense whatsoever...

Where does he go anyway? It seems like something is missing in this story.

 

[Mr.Cheese]

This isn't sounding good.
*hug*

 

[lin1235]

Oh I'm so sorry! I do hope there is a logical explanation for this that does not include him cheating, but it sure doesn't sound like it... Praying for you and your baby.