Significant distance-bridging the gap

[somethingBEAUTIFUL]

My boyfriend and I live 2-and-a-half hours from one another. Ever since we began dating 9 months ago, I've dealt with feeling a profound lack of connection and closeness to him at times when we are apart during the weekdays. Most weekends we see each other, which I'm thankful for. The times I've mentioned my feelings to him, he's told me not to worry about it, that he feels like that every now and then too. He reassures me that this type of relationship (significant distance) is a first for both of us, and reminds me of how enjoyable and meaningful our time is when we're face-to-face. That is true, but sometimes I can't stand feeling so distanced from him. It's like I'm unable to feel close to him over the phone at times, no matter what. However, once we're together in person, it's like we never missed a beat. I love being with him, and I love our relationship.
Can anybody relate? What are some good ways to help bridge the gap?

 

[dayhiker]

The only thinking that came to my mind is to do a video chat over the web instead of just a phone call.
What is it about talking on the phone that doesn't create intimacy? Do you need touch, eye contact or something else to feel close?

 

[somethingBEAUTIFUL]

The only thinking that came to my mind is to do a video chat over the web instead of just a phone call.
What is it about talking on the phone that doesn't create intimacy? Do you need touch, eye contact or something else to feel close?

Thank you for the suggestion. We have done video chat on Skype before, but unfortunately it doesn't work well on my end a lot of the time, due to a slow connection To answer your questions, I believe it's the eye contact that helps me feel close to him; touch helps too. We communicate extremely well in person, and I suppose that's why.

 

[Luther073082]

Thank you for the suggestion. We have done video chat on Skype before, but unfortunately it doesn't work well on my end a lot of the time, due to a slow connection To answer your questions, I believe it's the eye contact that helps me feel close to him; touch helps too. We communicate extremely well in person, and I suppose that's why.

Don't know what to tell you other then to talk on the phone every day, even if it's just to say good night.

I have to say that I find it funny that you call a 2 and a half hour drive a significant distance. I'd find it highly insignificant. Heck you could meet in the middle somewhere and it would only be an hour and 15 minute drive for each of you.

When my wife and I where dating we lived 18 hours away by car and saw eachother for a short time about once every 3 months or so. And even then flying there took me 3 hours just to drive to the airport to catch the first plane which connected to the destination flight in Atlanta.

It was hard, I mean after she went home after I asked her to marry me, I was so despondent about her being gone that I thought I might have to go into therapy. But it worked for us. . . I think you can handle 2 and a half hours.

 

[somethingBEAUTIFUL]

Don't know what to tell you other then to talk on the phone every day, even if it's just to say good night.

I have to say that I find it funny that you call a 2 and a half hour drive a significant distance. I'd find it highly insignificant. Heck you could meet in the middle somewhere and it would only be an hour and 15 minute drive for each of you.

When my wife and I where dating we lived 18 hours away by car and saw eachother for a short time about once every 3 months or so. And even then flying there took me 3 hours just to drive to the airport to catch the first plane which connected to the destination flight in Atlanta.

It was hard, I mean after she went home after I asked her to marry me, I was so despondent about her being gone that I thought I might have to go into therapy. But it worked for us. . . I think you can handle 2 and a half hours.

Thanks, Luther I know we can handle it, been doing it for 9 months now. Occasionally we meet in the middle, as you suggested. I guess it's "significant" distance to me because anyone else I've ever dated lived 15 minutes or less from me. I can't imagine 18 hours! We've got it easy, really, huh?

I approached our phone conversation last night with a very loving, more positive attitude, and it made a big difference. I really enjoyed our talk and felt close to him. Yay!