Speaking my mind is something I'm pretty good at (for better or for worse) - and admitting that I'm not just imperfect, but at times a train-wreck is easy for me to do. Its therapeutic for me. So here it goes..
I'm currently a student in the occupational therapy assistant program at my local college. This has to be the single most difficult thing that I have ever done. I read and write daily from 4pm-12am with small breaks here and there, and there are never moments where I am caught up, or not falling behind.
With that said, initially, I did well at keeping the Sabbath. But as the program became more intense, I started to let it slip for the sake of surviving. I even quit my job to keep the 7th day holy, but it didn't make a difference. These Allied Health programs are very psychotic, but luckily, I will be finished by the end of the summer. My wife currently works 50+ hours a week as a nurse, while I remain home with the kids. We are living on noodles most of the time, despite her good income.
I'm doing fairly well in the classes, but I'm trying hard to pull up a D grade in one of the courses. I guess I'm just mentally worn out...my patience is not what it was when I became a Christian...I become easily irritated and angry. There is no leisure time for me, and more often than not lately, I feel like my spiritual throat is being strangled.
I understand that the Bible stresses simplicity for the Christian, and I see why. The mind is not meant for overload, and knowledge does indeed bringeth sorrow. But I chose this career path to take care of my family and become financially independent.
I miss my Sabbath, and I feel like I loused up. Family have accommodated me, to enable me to finish my academics. My wife is killing herself to carry us all, and despite the changes I made to allow me to keep the Sabbath, I'm always frantically trying to stay afloat.
We're almost there, and I understand this is a temporary part of my life, but I shouldn't sense this earthliness in me. I know what conversion is - I experienced it. This feels like regression. Perhaps I'm beating myself up too much, but I recognize this and I don't like it.
I am in no way blaming my academics for this. At the end of the day, I chose to do this, so its on me. I reckon that I'm a tad letdown of how I've responded to stress.
I'm not in a dark place, so don't worry. This is just me venting, because it helps me. Not consistently keeping the Sabbath has been rough. Oh me of little faith.
Thanks for reading if you've made it this far!
I'm currently a student in the occupational therapy assistant program at my local college. This has to be the single most difficult thing that I have ever done. I read and write daily from 4pm-12am with small breaks here and there, and there are never moments where I am caught up, or not falling behind.
With that said, initially, I did well at keeping the Sabbath. But as the program became more intense, I started to let it slip for the sake of surviving. I even quit my job to keep the 7th day holy, but it didn't make a difference. These Allied Health programs are very psychotic, but luckily, I will be finished by the end of the summer. My wife currently works 50+ hours a week as a nurse, while I remain home with the kids. We are living on noodles most of the time, despite her good income.
I'm doing fairly well in the classes, but I'm trying hard to pull up a D grade in one of the courses. I guess I'm just mentally worn out...my patience is not what it was when I became a Christian...I become easily irritated and angry. There is no leisure time for me, and more often than not lately, I feel like my spiritual throat is being strangled.
I understand that the Bible stresses simplicity for the Christian, and I see why. The mind is not meant for overload, and knowledge does indeed bringeth sorrow. But I chose this career path to take care of my family and become financially independent.
I miss my Sabbath, and I feel like I loused up. Family have accommodated me, to enable me to finish my academics. My wife is killing herself to carry us all, and despite the changes I made to allow me to keep the Sabbath, I'm always frantically trying to stay afloat.
We're almost there, and I understand this is a temporary part of my life, but I shouldn't sense this earthliness in me. I know what conversion is - I experienced it. This feels like regression. Perhaps I'm beating myself up too much, but I recognize this and I don't like it.
I am in no way blaming my academics for this. At the end of the day, I chose to do this, so its on me. I reckon that I'm a tad letdown of how I've responded to stress.
I'm not in a dark place, so don't worry. This is just me venting, because it helps me. Not consistently keeping the Sabbath has been rough. Oh me of little faith.
Thanks for reading if you've made it this far!