*sigh*

[angelsgirl]

I'm going to try and put this feeling I'm having into words... I don't know how coherent it will be though!

So lately I've been feeling really sad that I'm not breastfeeding Maddie. It's come completely out of nowhere. I miss the skin to skin contact, I miss her being SO close to me...
I don't really know where it has come from. I am happy with bottle feeding her now. It took me a while but I am happy with that decision. It was the right decision at the time...

I don't miss the sore nipples, bleeding nipples, constant feedings, middle of the night feedings. I'm really enjoying my sleep. But I really miss breastfeeding. I don't know if I am saying this right though...
Does this feeling make sense at all???
I only breastfed exclusively til 6 weeks, then it was 50/50 breast and formula for another week. I was done breastfeeding by about 8-9 weeks.

Part of me wishes I had pushed through the hard time with breastfeeding, cause maybe I would still be feeding Maddie today.

That is just how I am feeling. It is weird.

 

[Gods4me]

no its not weird. i was breast feeding my son an when he was 3 months old i was feeding him every hour for 20mins. the day after i could barely sit up never mind feed him. so my mum gave him a bottle and i expresed some just to throw it away. my breat milk didnt look lie milk at all. after going to the hospital they found out that i had pnemonia and a urnie inferction so i had to go on medication and stay in hospital for a week and give up breast feeding.

I had to give it up really i had no choice and straight away i was fine but a bit later i just hated not having the closetness. even tho its the right thing to do at the time but later you just get annoyed bout it.

I was adviced by the heath visitor st still share skin to skin contact like have a bath together.

my son when he comes out the bath loves his cuddles and sine he was born he would have his bath then have a feed after it. once he was on the bottle he didnt need feed then.(just with the timing o his baths.) but ive always made the point of just stilling cuddling for about 30 mins. and he would be raped up in his towel and just had a cuddle. having that closeness. even now he still wants the clostness its just the most heart melting part of my day.

 

[jgonz]

I totally understand. With Abel not being able to nurse properly and doing bottles, I'm missing the 100% closeness too. But, bathing with the baby (like Gods4me suggested) and carrying the baby in a sling, and even co-sleeping with the baby can still foster the closeness you're missing.

Abel ends up nursing at night... he doesn't latch on as hard or get frustrated like he does during the day ('cause he's half asleep). He pretty much uses me as a pacifier, but it's Still skin to skin, and it soothes him. Occasionally during the day when he's upset (but isn't hungry), I'll put him to the breast and he'll nurse a tiny bit (more like a pacifier suck) and then fall asleep (other times it doesn't work and he just bites me so I'll put it away but I still try). One thing I've learned this time is that it doesn't Have to be all or nothing...

 

[tiredwalker]

Maggie is bottle fed too. I know it might sound weird, but I just lay down with her inside my shirt when I need to change her clothes. Her little head sticks out the top and we have cuddle time...no feeding needed. I hope that you feel better about it soon.

 

[heart of peace]

It is ok to feel sad and as if you need to mourn a perceived loss. Have you given yourself permission to feel sad about it all? I mean, just acknowledging your feelings and telling yourself that it is ok to feel that way. Sometimes that's all I need to come to terms with a decision that was a difficult one to make and that left me feeling some sort of loss.

As for what you are describing, it isn't weird at all! I agree, I wish it hadn't been so challenging and painful to begin breastfeeding my child. I could totally have done without that part...lol

(Maybe all Western women who are pregnant should spend the last trimester of pregnancy topless in sweltering heat and/or strong winds to toughen those nipples of ours that have been sheltered from the elements for so many years. At least then it won't be AS painful. For some reason though, I don't think the people in our culture could handle it....lol)

 

[-~Truth_N_Trust~-]

angelsgirl. All of this is great advice. I used to love (still do) taking my little ones into the shower with me, it's so nice. Or on nice days we'd sit outside, and have some skin to skin contact in the sun.

Your feelings are totally normal. Remember, you alone are Maddie's mum, nothing can replace that or diminish that. You're a great mum!

 

[jennyren]

i weaned my son at three months old because I went to work. A few weeks later i started to feel the way you do and i tried to get him to breastfeed, my husband thought i was confusing him and discouraged me. I wish I had continued to breastfeed him, even if it was only once or twice a day. He still needed a pacifier to fall asleep at 2 years old.. that should have been me

 

[Neenie1]

I'm going to try and put this feeling I'm having into words... I don't know how coherent it will be though!

So lately I've been feeling really sad that I'm not breastfeeding Maddie. It's come completely out of nowhere. I miss the skin to skin contact, I miss her being SO close to me...
I don't really know where it has come from. I am happy with bottle feeding her now. It took me a while but I am happy with that decision. It was the right decision at the time...

I don't miss the sore nipples, bleeding nipples, constant feedings, middle of the night feedings. I'm really enjoying my sleep. But I really miss breastfeeding. I don't know if I am saying this right though...
Does this feeling make sense at all???
I only breastfed exclusively til 6 weeks, then it was 50/50 breast and formula for another week. I was done breastfeeding by about 8-9 weeks.

Part of me wishes I had pushed through the hard time with breastfeeding, cause maybe I would still be feeding Maddie today.

That is just how I am feeling. It is weird.

It's not weird, and it does make sense. It's something that all mothers go through when they are weaning a child (I went through similar too, even though I had no bf problems) it's sad that you couldn't bf for longer, but you feel that you made the right decision. Do you need to learn to forgive yourself maybe? Do you need to grieve over this? If so then allow yourself to feell sad. Allow yourself to cry over it even, then once you have done that then you can move on. Really bottle feeding is not the end of the world, it doesn't change the fact that she is your daughter and you still have a bond with her.

 

[angelsgirl]

Thank you all for your thoughtful replies!

It's just really weird when stuff like that hits you. I think now that the weather is warming up a little, we might start to have a cuddle together after a shower/bath.
DH has been really great about it too. He said after hearing people talk about breastfeeding he can see why I would be missing it. I was thinking he might have been a little blah about it. Thinking that it is something stupid and that I shouldn't feel sad about it at all. Thankfully he understood why i was a little upset.

I just really hope next time I can breastfeed for longer...

Oh and lol MsDahl!!! People can't deal with mothers breastfeeding in public... how would they go with mothers sunning and winding their nipples in preparation for a new baby!!! hehehe!

 

[gracepaints]

I loved taking baths with Reed when he was little. Even now, we'll sometimes cuddle up in bed together bare chest to bare chest.

If you ever want to give breastfeeding a go again, I can hook you up with a really nice friend of mine from Scotland who gave up breastfeeding under pretty much the same circumstances at you around the same age. She missed it so much that she decided to relactate and went back to breastfeeding when her daughter was 5 months old. She still formula fed too, but she was able to nurse a couple of times a day and that made her happy.

 

[angelsgirl]

I did think about relactating... but it just doesn't really seem possible. I'm back at work part time, I don't have all day to sit with a pump.
At least I know some "what not to do's" for next time with breastfeeding!

 

[Neenie1]

I have heard a lot of mums say that the 2nd time around breastfeeding was a lot easier, you might be able to make a better go of it next time around if that's what you want.

 

[angelsgirl]

Neenie, I'm really hoping that is true. I really would like to breastfeed for alot longer with my next baby. I would be disappointed if I couldn't, but I don't think it would be as bad as it was this time, dealing with not breastfeeding I mean. Ugh I'm not doing well with the words tonight! It's probably because it is 11pm!
It really hits me when I am at work, I see SO many Mum's breastfeeding their newborns -> toddlers at work in the Mothers Area we have.

 

[Neenie1]

Neenie, I'm really hoping that is true. I really would like to breastfeed for alot longer with my next baby. I would be disappointed if I couldn't, but I don't think it would be as bad as it was this time, dealing with not breastfeeding I mean. Ugh I'm not doing well with the words tonight! It's probably because it is 11pm!
It really hits me when I am at work, I see SO many Mum's breastfeeding their newborns -> toddlers at work in the Mothers Area we have.

I know that my first baby I had all sorts of attachment problems to start off with, then had NOTHING bad happen when my dd was born. She latched on straight away and it was all good, I only had sore nipples but nothing that a little Lansinoh didn't fix.

Maybe if it really does affect you this much would it help to have some counselling?

 

[llghoney]

I tried to BF but just couldn't and at first was really really upset. For some reason Grace doesn't lay on or with me when I lay down. I'm not sure if that is due to her not being with me after the birth or what. Sending you HUGS!!!