Showing Affection

[Elle_For_Short]

I know that means many things to many people of different culture. But to me the norm would be a hug and a kiss on the cheek to everyone. Well, I am not comfortable with that...anymore. I don't like it one bit. I feel very umcomfortable and restless when people do that. I let people hug me, but I get so tense even with my sisters. The only people I hug often are my niece and nephew and my mom. The dog gets more hugs from me then I give everyone other then those mentioned. Is there something wrong here? I mean, I always hugged people, but now it is different. Especially around older men. They creep me out. Some have been way to touchy with me and I freak out that I will cry. I guess thats why I am that way. There is a reason why I might me like this, but I am afraid that when the person who I am going to marry comes around I will be cold to him because of this? WHat should I do? I am already pretty weird around guys my age. Especially if I know they are attracted to me I avoid them like a plague even if they go to church. ::SIGH::

 

[JesusFreak4L]

I don't like going out and kissing people on the cheek either...I prefer just hugging haha I only kiss my gf or parents

 

[Windmill]

When did a kiss on the cheek become normal?

Hugging amoungst certain groups of girls is definitely considered normal though.

I partake in neither!

 

[Elle_For_Short]

When did a kiss on the cheek become normal?

Hugging amoungst certain groups of girls is definitely considered normal though.

I partake in neither!

In the latino culture it is normal.

 

[TwistTim]

I'm beyond that even with who I even touch... even reaching out to comfort someone who's grieving.... if I am in the least bit attracted to her, I feel she doesn't need mixed signals then.... and connecting (Physically) with someone does create bonds that are hard to break... as such, when a friendship goes sour if I haven't invested a lot of myself into, it's easier to quit... this way I learned to be after being burnt so much because I used to be a wide open person....

Tis sad, yes, but as the French say C'est La Via.... "Such is Life".....


as for not wanting to show affection towards older men... that's fine, if they aren't your daddy or boyfriend... then they've no business hugging you and certainly none kissing(even on the cheek)... that's a romantic line they shouldn't be crossing.....


with your sisters... that would depend on your closeness and comfort level with them... totally your prefrence of how to share your affections.....

and your doggy.... well dogs need loving to.... so good for him that he gets some.

 

[Loving monster]

No hugging or kissing to me. I honestly hate most human contact, whenI shake hands I try to break the other guys hands. ( I been working on my grip strenght to accomplish this goal.)

 

[Windmill]

In the latino culture it is normal.

Ah. In reserved, white-man culture, we don't do that. Usually.

I struggle to give much physical affection to most, however I gotten much better over time! Having a bf helped me to learn to hug.

 

[stephanieamber]

Don't worry about the guy you are going to marry. I used to wonder about all of the things in my life that would potentially turn away the person I was supposed to marry.. then I realized that what will make that guy so awesome is that he will accept it all and love me for all of my weird quirks.

I'm really weird about hugs sometimes, too. If you're just not feeling it, you're not feeling it. It shouldn't be expected to make such intimate physical contact with someone (and I think pressing your bodies against each other is intimate, even if it is not sexual intimacy).

 

[decadent]

I mean, I always hugged people, but now it is different. Especially around older men. They creep me out. Some have been way to touchy with me and I freak out that I will cry.

This part of your post resonates with me. If something embarrassing or uncomfortable has happened, even if it was accidental or the other person didn't notice somethng was wrong, it could affect the way you feel. I think it's fine to politely ask for a handshake or something else instead of a hug and kiss if you feel uncomfortable about it. Those who won't comply aren't worthy of your hugs anyway. And don't worry about your future spouse. Either you'll feel comfortable with him or he'll understand. It won't matter.

 

[E.C.]

Ah. In reserved, white-man culture, we don't do that. Usually.

I struggle to give much physical affection to most, however I gotten much better over time! Having a bf helped me to learn to hug.

[smart aleck response]
Ah, but in most parts of Eastern Europe I believe it is common for women to kiss each others' cheek when greeting. And Eastern Europeans are white!
[/smart aleck response]

It seems to be Caucasians with Western European roots where a mere handshake suffices. But even the handshake is dieing out.

My parish was originally founded by Russians and Carpatho-Rusyns just over 100 years ago. Even to this day we typically greet each other with three kisses on the cheek. Except for men greeting men. That's just weird.

 

[explodingboy]

I feel like the odd one out here ...

I hug everyone, and not even just short greeting hugs. I'm a bear hug sort of guy. I happily show affection to everyone male and female, though I'm slightly less huggy of females that I don't know well, (don't want to creep them all out).

I hang out with mad people though so sweeping someone off their feet as a common greeting. I'm easily the worst behaved though out of the group, I get away with it though as the only mad English man on the college campus.

 

[buddy_holly]

I come from a pretty "huggy" family. When it comes to friends, I'll generally hug them or handshake or something. However strangers I'll greet with a simple hello.

 

[RobinRedbreast]

I know that means many things to many people of different culture. But to me the norm would be a hug and a kiss on the cheek to everyone. Well, I am not comfortable with that...anymore. I don't like it one bit. I feel very umcomfortable and restless when people do that. I let people hug me, but I get so tense even with my sisters. The only people I hug often are my niece and nephew and my mom. The dog gets more hugs from me then I give everyone other then those mentioned. Is there something wrong here? I mean, I always hugged people, but now it is different. Especially around older men. They creep me out. Some have been way to touchy with me and I freak out that I will cry. I guess thats why I am that way. There is a reason why I might me like this, but I am afraid that when the person who I am going to marry comes around I will be cold to him because of this? WHat should I do? I am already pretty weird around guys my age. Especially if I know they are attracted to me I avoid them like a plague even if they go to church. ::SIGH::

Well, I love when my husband hugs me, but to be honest I really wish everyone else to keep their distance. I don't like being touched by friends or family, not even a hug, it makes me very uncomfortable.

So I think perhaps the person you date and eventually marry will be an "exception" to the rule most likely When you like someone, or fall in love with someone, the barriers come down in different ways than even with family.

Don't worry

 

[Beauty4Ashes]

I like hugs but mostly from family or female friends or my bf of course.

I don't like anyone kissing me other than my boyfriend, even on the cheek. Just makes me feel uncomfortable. Of course I love when my bf does.

My mom used to try and kiss me and hold me and it made me uncomfortable but we also werent very close. I dont mind quite as much now but still get a bit squeamish, though I always like hugs from her. If she tries to kiss me on the cheek or forehead, i get grossed out....dunno why, I just do.

 

[xXxKristaxXx]

I have a wierd thing with being touched by people I dont really know, I normally shake hands if there needs to be some kind of contact.