I'd tell him everything he wanted to know and vice versa but to be honest I'd prefer the past to just be left in the past.
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Should you tell??
- Thread starter Isabella84
- Start date
Couldn't agree more.
But since TMI has already been shared, and you are obviously uncomfortable about it...talk to him. don't get into to anymore details...just tell him, flat out how you feel about it.
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K
krys4ever
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I feel that u shouldnt tell him this soon because some things are just better left unsaid until u know you're going to be with that person for a long time or if he asks u later on. I feel that even if u did tell him about your past right now, he wouldnt judge or feel bad about u. I can tell that he cares about u a lot and doesnt want to keep anything from u. If u still have doubts that u shouldnt tell him, then dont until u are ready or if he asks about your past personal life first.
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Well,I know about how stuff he has told me has bothered me,and I don't want it to go the other way.I think it will bother him to
ne reason is because all his stuff happened before he was saved,but not the same with me.I don't really have any excuses for it.I was hoping we wouldn't go there.I would have rather us both left it in the dark.Now I feel like I HAVE to tell because he has.
ne reason is because all his stuff happened before he was saved,but not the same with me.I don't really have any excuses for it.I was hoping we wouldn't go there.I would have rather us both left it in the dark.Now I feel like I HAVE to tell because he has.
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Here it is from a guy. He only said this because he is really in to you. He reached some emotional high and just had to let you know some how. Just let him know what he needs know and time will take care of the rest. I can garuntee he is going to treat great. Just be real him. Tactfullness will save everthing.
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J
Jenster
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Well...I would say that maybe he should have asked you first whether you WANTED to hear what he had to say. If you are particularly sensitive (I don't mean that in a bad way at all), then you could have said, "Please just tell me how many partners you've had, but not the details. I don't want to know."
But do ask about things that are important to you. My ex "forgot" to mention that he LIVED with one of his girlfriends for two years. Even though he disclosed the whole sex thing, it took on a new weight for me when he told me they were shacking up the whole time.
My piece of advice -- not necessarily for you Isabella but for anyone -- would be ... take what you know about you SO's past behavior and consider whether his/her habits have changed at all. Seriously, don't just take him at his word. What my ex shared with me indicated he was something of a sex addict in the past. Though he said he'd turned over a new leaf, it was not long (within six months) before he was hounding me for physical intimacy just about every time we got together. Our relationship became a nightmare.
So it's good to be open, but don't let it stop there. Talk about the kind of relationship you want to have, and the kinds of boundaries you want to set.
But do ask about things that are important to you. My ex "forgot" to mention that he LIVED with one of his girlfriends for two years. Even though he disclosed the whole sex thing, it took on a new weight for me when he told me they were shacking up the whole time.
My piece of advice -- not necessarily for you Isabella but for anyone -- would be ... take what you know about you SO's past behavior and consider whether his/her habits have changed at all. Seriously, don't just take him at his word. What my ex shared with me indicated he was something of a sex addict in the past. Though he said he'd turned over a new leaf, it was not long (within six months) before he was hounding me for physical intimacy just about every time we got together. Our relationship became a nightmare.
So it's good to be open, but don't let it stop there. Talk about the kind of relationship you want to have, and the kinds of boundaries you want to set.
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