From where does this foreknowledge come? Does it happen when you meet someone for the first time? The first date? The second date?
Why is it that anyone would basically want to spend x number of years "engaged" to somebody and wait around, and wait around before marriage? Its like they want to be "married" before they get married for real, without any commitments(or benefits really)...Such couples are not really couples at all. They are just confused friends who either don't know what they want, or else refuse to commit, and one way or another they have been torturing and depriving one another contrary to Paul's teaching for "betrothed" couples and for the "marriage bed".
If two people can date for such long times, or be engaged for such long times, and NOT have sex, and yet not go ahead and get married, then they should examine themselves whether they really are for one another. If you love someone you are passionate about them, and the "juices" are going to flow. If they aren't then you have two neuter people just hanging out, saying nice things about one another, and exchanging gifts, but you don't have a marriageable relationship.
Finding a mate is not supposed to take a lifetime, nor is evaluating that mate when you find them.
You are supposed to spend your life together. You are supposed to want sexual intimacy and a real life partner, and you are supposed to have it in a reasonable stage of your life. Not catch a few moments together after your best years are past.
The Bible says that a man should "live joyfully with the wife of his youth." He shouldn't be wandering around till he's missed the prime of his life and then happen to marry someone.
I know of cases of such absurdly long engagements where both partners were virgins to begin with and they were engaged and trying to not have sex with one another because supposedly they were still "testing the waters" to make sure they were right with one another. Then the guy one day got alone with his fiance's friend, who he said he absolutely was not romantically interested in, but for "some reason" the devil hit them with tempaton that day and he had sex with her, but never would have sex with his fiance. (which even the Bible pardons on the condition that they are then obligated to marry.) So now, technically, the "letter" of the law actually would have required him to marry his fiance's friend, because she is the one he has sex with...
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As for where does the "foreknowledge" come from as to who you would like to marry or whether you might like to marry a person, it can come in any number of ways.
For some Christians, God literally speaks to one or both partners and tells them, point blank, or else they "just know."
I know of two couples right off hand that I was very close to several years back, and they each got married just a few months after meeting one another for the first time. This has already been about 4 and 5 years ago respectively, and they are still married. In the case of the one couple, they went from "saw you at church one day," to "friends," to "married" literally within a few weeks.
The strange thing is, I KNEW they were going to get married and they were right for one another (really right, not the "everything I expected" right), because God showed me in both cases before they even started "dating", and still at the "friends" or "barely know you" stage.
The day I over heard the second woman talking to the second guy, before they were even dating, it was very much mixed feelings, because I had the biggest crush on her of anyone in my life. I wasn't eavesdropping, but I overhear her talking to the guy, just talking, weren't dating, barely even knew one another really. It was actually at a youth camp, and all of us "early twenty-somethings" were there as counsellors. It was like God just dropped it on me; they are called to one another.
It was a terribly bittersweet feeling, because part of me loved her to death and wanted what was best for her, but the other part really loved her also, but wanted her for me. But I thank God for what he has done for them. They've been married for about 4 years now and have a ~ two year old son now.
"What God has joined together, let not man put assunder."
These are some of the most successful young couples I know of, and they literally married almost on first sight, much like my parents and my brother and his wife.
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But for others, like I've said, love isn't about being with somebody who does everything right and meets all your expectations. That's too easy to be love.
There are lots of fish in the ocean. If we are hungry and we catch a fish which is legal size, then we typically keep it, take it home and eat it. We do not put it in a gold fish tank and keep it there and stare at it every day and whatever. We want(and need) the meal, not the menu.
A guy doesn't need someone to be his friend or girlfriend for x number of years, and then "maybe we will get married." He needs a wife, and it should be the "wife of his youth".
