Should we continue to date???

[AggieCatholic]

Howdy! I have a question for all the courting couples/married couples out there... my boyfriend and I have been together for almost 10 months now...the whole time it's been a rough ride, with lots of ups and downs--unfortunately more downs than ups I think but I can tell you there are a lot of factors that contributed to that (depression on my part, career changes, dealing with graduate school, death in the family, stuff like that). He's everything I've ever prayed for--Catholic (a MUST for me), caring, honest, has a great family and relationship with them, and most importantly he loves the Lord more than anything or anyone in life. He's good looking, also Anyway...I want so badly to be with him...everything we do, we do (or try to at least) to the glory of God's name. That's all both of us want in life. We both want a huge family. We share the same ideas and beliefs on how to raise children and everything. The time isn't right for an engagement or marriage right now so that's not an immediate concern. However, while he's convinced that I'm the person God has picked out for him, I'm not so sure. I can't tell you what it is that's missing and I can't say that I want to leave him, because I don't. But it's been so hard keeping this relationship going... I'm not sure what I'm even asking...maybe for those of you who've had to make a decision before, how did you do it (other than prayer of course because we're both doing that)? What are some of the things you would suggest I look for? Please please help! God Bless,
AggieCatholic

 

[desi]

Having a long term romantic relationship independent of marriage is unatural and should not be attempted, unless you strongly feel God's work in the relationship, as it is a strain on both parties unless they give in to temptation at which point the future of the relationship is all but doomed. Marry him or let him go.

 

[ceres]

You have only been dating 10 months, and it sounds like you have had some stress. I would just give it some time, don't make a rash decision to marry. Any problems you have before marriage are majorly amplified after marriage, so if you really have a lot of problems then don't get married. But I would say time will tell....

 

[DaveKerwin]

is this your first boyfriend? If so, maybe talk about how that feels. If not, then maybe describe a prior relationship, and how that went.

why are you afraid?

are you equally yoked in ALL areas?

 

[Mr.Cheese]

Sometimes, the other person can be great, but that doesn't mean they're the one to be with.
I had no doubt and neither did my wife.

 

[LifeInYou]

The 'passion' may be missing. Sounds like all the practical issues are taken care of. But does he light your fire? Does he give you butterflies? Argh! Personally, I don't care if everything fits perfectly, if I can't think of him when I'm away and just...smile, it doesn't mean anything to me.

Just some food for thought.

 

[Anastasia]

Do not rush into marriage, that is my biggest suggestion. Resolve any problems you have before getting married, and the truth is that you may discover that perhaps he is not the one you are truly meant to be with. In some cases the practical things are not enough, and in others love is not enough. The question is, do you have a balance of both love and practicality? The best relationships are ones in which the couple encourages one another to be the best person they can, to discuss feelings freely. Do this happen in your relationship, do you feel comfortable talking about your doubts and concerns? I hope you do, because before you take this to the next level, these are things you should discuss with your partner!

 

[rdielma]

Hi there beautiful girl! You sound like you are really seeking the Lord's will in this situation and relationship. I'm in a similar spot with you where I love Craig, my boyfriend of about 9-10 months and we are praying for God's will as well. We are matched up in the same ways you are guys are but have had some rough months......as well. I have struggled with anxiety and emotional things....and he has stood by me.....I think time will tell and seeking out God's will. God does want to bless you and make you happy.....but sometimes He also brings us through things to prepare us for the next step....I'm reading this book called, "Waking the Dead" by John Eldridge..it's awesome..check it out! I will pray for you and for your boyfriend as you go through this time.....I know what you mean..I love Craig, I feel like he could be the one for me, but I'm also seeking out God's will......just give it time......God will open or close the door..I believe that.....make sure you be the person you want to be before you make someone else happy...I've realized that lately-I have to be happy with me before I can make Craig happy. and I have to be content with my walk with God....no man or relationship will ever complete us..only God......All my love,
Rachel-let me know..I'd love to email you sometime or chat about this....

 

[Katty]

Mmm... as young as I am, I've dealt with this before... weird I know, but I thought I was gonna marry the guy I was with. We were great friends before we started dating and we dated for 4 years! Nonetheless, we aren't together anymore. I think to a certain extent I think I was settling for what was familiar and safe. *shrugs* My point? Ask yourself if you can see yourself with this guy for the rest of your life. Make sure that you're not settling for second best. He can be a great guy, but that doesnt necessarily mean that he's "your" great guy. You've already nailed the most important thing--- prayer and seeking of God's will. He'll reveal that to you, but you have to be willing to obey no matter what the outcome. That was something that I struggled with... the hardest prayer you'll ever have to pray is "God whatever in my life that You want, take it and make it fully Yours even if that means it won't be in my life any longer. You know best." Make sure you're where you need to be. I realized that I'm single because I need to be. God's using my single-ness to prepare me for the guy I'm meant to be with. I've come to realize what I want in a guy and in an overall relationship that will ultimately glorify God. I'm in no way telling you to leave this guy. Just be honest with yourself. You owe yourself that much if nothing more. I hope all works out well for you. Best wishes.

~Katty~