should I start trying for kids???

[Job24]

I am facing a dilemna in regards to having children with my wife... I love children and my wife and I are very happy in our relationship so that is not the problem.. I am financially sound and make plenty of money to support a family (as if there is ever enough money)..

However, two years ago I had a major heart surgery due to a genetic disorder that I have had my whole life but never knew until the surgery. it is called "Marfan Syndrome". It is a connective tissue disorder that effects the heart and other parts of the body for women (like the uterus and bladder)... My mom had the same heart surgery and had surgeries for "down there". My little sister was recently diagnosed with it as well and she is in danger of having a heart surgery also...

the disorder has a 50% chance of being passed onto the child and I am wondering if I should have kids of my own if they might or might not go thru the same thing I did.

my wife says that we should just do it but I went thru allot and I dont want my kid going thru the same. I ALMOST DIED FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.

HELP ME MAKE A DECISION!!!!!!

 

[blitzn]

I am facing a dilemna in regards to having children with my wife... I love children and my wife and I are very happy in our relationship so that is not the problem.. I am financially sound and make plenty of money to support a family (as if there is ever enough money)..

However, two years ago I had a major heart surgery due to a genetic disorder that I have had my whole life but never knew until the surgery. it is called "Marfan Syndrome". It is a connective tissue disorder that effects the heart and other parts of the body for women (like the uterus and bladder)... My mom had the same heart surgery and had surgeries for "down there". My little sister was recently diagnosed with it as well and she is in danger of having a heart surgery also...

the disorder has a 50% chance of being passed onto the child and I am wondering if I should have kids of my own if they might or might not go thru the same thing I did.

my wife says that we should just do it but I went thru allot and I dont want my kid going thru the same. I ALMOST DIED FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.

HELP ME MAKE A DECISION!!!!!!

My brother,

All I can say is trust in the Lord. Give it to Him.

- blitzn

 

[GREG]

That is so tough...... but if you had a child and it had no problem. what a weight off you shoulders. If the child did then it has a Daddy that would understand and be there every step of the way.

Pray my friend and so will I

 

[Blindfaith]

Hon, no one can make the decision for you, but I do have to say that having kids is such an awesome experience.

What if the gene wasn't passed down? What if you missed out on this incredible experience with your wife?

Also, you have to take her feelings into account too. What would happen if you didn't have children? Would it affect your marriage down the road?

Can I just give you mass amounts of hugs? *****HUGS*****.

 

[nyj]

If nothing else, a totally acceptable, highly honorable, and commendable option is adoption.

 

[Job24]

I have considered adoption as well but it is extremly expensive and tough to find a child that is right for you.. I will take that into consideration though.. thanks for the advice.

 

[ej]

I agree with Greg.

Also, you might ask your doctor for referral to a genetic counsellor who could guide you in an informed direction.

Ultimately, the decision is yours though. Pray for guidance.

And remember that your children can be screened and treated before emergency surgery becomes necessary!

 

[Job24]

I have actually been to genetic counseling and they are the ones who told me for sure that I have Marfans syndrome and they told me I have a 50% chance of passing it to my kids.


you are all right I will have to pray for it and make the decision on my own... with my wife of course

 

[desi]

You said you "almost died!" If I recall you have a high risk of aortic disection which is a relaively quick death but your probably a bit taller than most of your peers. I would recommend having your own child with your wife while trusting God in whatever happens. Then again my wife and I have five beautiful children so my advice is bias. I'll pray for you and your family either way.

 

[kingzjewel]

prayer changes everything.... believe me i know from my experience with having my baby. u can pm me if you want to know more

 

[Job24]

You said you "almost died!" If I recall you have a high risk of aortic disection which is a relaively quick death but your probably a bit taller than most of your peers. I would recommend having your own child with your wife while trusting God in whatever happens. Then again my wife and I have five beautiful children so my advice is bias. I'll pray for you and your family either way.

you must be a doctor or nurse because that is exactly right... I have an aortic valve due to dissection. I am 6'5 and have all the "marfanic" sypmtoms.

thanks for the advice.. I will take it in stride and thanks for the prayer.

 

[49erfan]

As a fairly new father (daughter will be one later this month), I suggest you not miss out on having children, if you can.

Medical science is getting closer to solving all kinds of things. Maybe by the time your child is in need of surgery, it will be a much less evasive proceedure.

 

[Kathy]

Pray for the lord for guidence in this very hard decision you and your wife will make....Trust in the lord,he will guide you..... You will be in my prayers pray

 

[Job24]

I guess I am just afraid to see my childs eyes filled with fear just like my mom and dad saw in me...

I was sleeping in the bed once and was half out of it from the drugs after my surgery and I woke up a little and my dad was holding my hands (holding back tears)
he was crying. not alot but just enough where I could tell he was tearing up.. he then saw that I was awake and I asked my dad what had happened. he tried to explain it and then just told me to rest and not worry about it. he put his hand on my head and I felt his warmth.... I dont want my kid going thru that....

I guess I will have to do some soul searching.