My husband has told me he's done. . We rarely fight. And I thOught we had a great marriage. We have a 4, 2 and 4 week old. We're 28 years old. He told me the night before we had our newborn. But since we had her he has been here all the time! Helping way more then he ever did. Being super nice to me (not because he wants me) i think cause he feels guilty. He doesn't sleep here. But showers. Eats. I have wise Christian woman talking to me about boundaries. I know they are right. . Do I start to pack up his cloths, toiletries etc? I don't want to. . I want the world I wanted. . But I can't l can't live like this. I'm just so sad, angry. Hurt. Lonely. .
-
Starting today August 7th, 2024, in order to post in the Married Couples, Courting Couples, or Singles forums, you will not be allowed to post if you have your Marital status designated as private. Announcements will be made in the respective forums as well but please note that if yours is currently listed as Private, you will need to submit a ticket in the Support Area to have yours changed.
Should I pack up his things???
- Thread starter Kirbyjade
- Start date
Puptart
Live, Laugh, Love.. and adopt a dog :)
- May 14, 2012
- 948
- 101
- Faith
- Muslim
- Marital Status
- Married
- Politics
- CA-NDP
What is his reasoning for abandoning the marriage? You mentioned you rarely fight.. so what was the problem exactly?
Basically I'd say that you shouldn't let him have the best of both worlds.. living on his own somewhere else but using your home as a shower station and being able to be a father and husband of convenience. He needs to either work on the marriage, or get out -- not both.
Basically I'd say that you shouldn't let him have the best of both worlds.. living on his own somewhere else but using your home as a shower station and being able to be a father and husband of convenience. He needs to either work on the marriage, or get out -- not both.
Upvote
0
He told me he's cant lie to me about who he is anymore. And he has been for a decade now. He does recreational drugs looks at porn and who knows what else. . I feel so stupid for never knowing these things. God has revealed to me he is trying to live in darkness so living with me is convicting him every day. It's just not the way my life was meant to be. He always adored me. I don't think he really likes being a family man. .he seems to think we are gonna be best friends. He thinks he's still as much apart of our family as always. I don't think he understands the magnitude and effect of this choice. .
Upvote
0
Puptart
Live, Laugh, Love.. and adopt a dog :)
- May 14, 2012
- 948
- 101
- Faith
- Muslim
- Marital Status
- Married
- Politics
- CA-NDP
He's living in a delusion right now where he won't have to be married and can do what he wants, while still having you hanging on him and being able to be super close with you and the kids.. it's having your cake and eating it too. It's not reality.
I'd pack his bags and have them waiting for him. Tell him he's either 100% ready to commit to the success of the marriage which should include counseling, or he's leaving in a taxi right now (or in whatever vehicle he drives, but if you've got the kids he should be leaving you the car to be quite frank).
That's entirely what I would do, and it is a personal opinion. It's not really to tell you what I think you should do, because I don't really know you or your situation.. but from what little you've said, you've got a situation here where one party is willing to work for success and the other has basically mentally checked-out.
A marriage won't succeed with only one person trying. He doesn't understand how serious this situation is.. so I'd show him, by asking him to leave.
I'd pack his bags and have them waiting for him. Tell him he's either 100% ready to commit to the success of the marriage which should include counseling, or he's leaving in a taxi right now (or in whatever vehicle he drives, but if you've got the kids he should be leaving you the car to be quite frank).
That's entirely what I would do, and it is a personal opinion. It's not really to tell you what I think you should do, because I don't really know you or your situation.. but from what little you've said, you've got a situation here where one party is willing to work for success and the other has basically mentally checked-out.
A marriage won't succeed with only one person trying. He doesn't understand how serious this situation is.. so I'd show him, by asking him to leave.
Upvote
0
Puptart
Live, Laugh, Love.. and adopt a dog :)
- May 14, 2012
- 948
- 101
- Faith
- Muslim
- Marital Status
- Married
- Politics
- CA-NDP
He's living in a delusion right now where he won't have to be married and can do what he wants, while still having you hanging on him and being able to be super close with you and the kids.. it's having your cake and eating it too. It's not reality.
I'd pack his bags and have them waiting for him. Tell him he's either 100% ready to commit to the success of the marriage which should include counseling, or he's leaving in a taxi right now (or in whatever vehicle he drives, but if you've got the kids he should be leaving you the car to be quite frank).
That's entirely what I would do, and it is a personal opinion. It's not really to tell you what I think you should do, because I don't really know you or your situation.. but from what little you've said, you've got a situation here where one party is willing to work for success and the other has basically mentally checked-out.
A marriage won't succeed with only one person trying. He doesn't understand how serious this situation is.. so I'd show him, by asking him to leave. Work out days where he can visit his children. Have a plan waiting for him with his luggage that outlines what you feel are the best days for him to have the kids or see the kids.. show that you're serious about this. It's one or the other, not this delusion of both that he's living in.
Separation doesn't have to mean divorce.. it's about each party getting the space they need to really think about what they want for the future. Lots of separations end in reconciliation. If in being fully separated from you he realizes what he's lost, then that would be good. But right now, he doesn't have that opportunity, because he hasn't "lost" anything. Some people don't "get it" until they hit rock bottom.
I'd pack his bags and have them waiting for him. Tell him he's either 100% ready to commit to the success of the marriage which should include counseling, or he's leaving in a taxi right now (or in whatever vehicle he drives, but if you've got the kids he should be leaving you the car to be quite frank).
That's entirely what I would do, and it is a personal opinion. It's not really to tell you what I think you should do, because I don't really know you or your situation.. but from what little you've said, you've got a situation here where one party is willing to work for success and the other has basically mentally checked-out.
A marriage won't succeed with only one person trying. He doesn't understand how serious this situation is.. so I'd show him, by asking him to leave. Work out days where he can visit his children. Have a plan waiting for him with his luggage that outlines what you feel are the best days for him to have the kids or see the kids.. show that you're serious about this. It's one or the other, not this delusion of both that he's living in.
Separation doesn't have to mean divorce.. it's about each party getting the space they need to really think about what they want for the future. Lots of separations end in reconciliation. If in being fully separated from you he realizes what he's lost, then that would be good. But right now, he doesn't have that opportunity, because he hasn't "lost" anything. Some people don't "get it" until they hit rock bottom.
Upvote
0
Similar threads
