Should I feel guilty?

[bluegreysky]

Over the span of just a few months- from the beginning of August up to today (That's exactly 3 months), I gained some things. Important things.

A house in my name- and a nice one at that.
I regained the lost boyfriend, and this time his family's love (Like im half a daughter or something).
I got more responsibilty at work (good for my resume/portfolio) and a pay-raise.

But here's the sucky side to that....
I only got those things because of someone's loss. It's like I didn't really "earn" them, I "won" them by default.

Plzz let me explain.

I moved into that house as the roommate under the main renter- a nice girl from up north. Suddenly, she needed a surgery and her insurance dropped her. Her family told her to come back home and in a week, I was alone with a 3x2, 2-story house that was alot of money and work. I put roommates in it and made it a happy home... but still.

The guy had a meltdown around that same time I got the house and we broke up for over a month. Then, gradually, he got better and we resolved this issue. His family never used to really like me much. After the meltdown, they thought I was the cause and they hated me. Then, their younger son (19) got this new girlfriend who was atheist, a partier, and a pot-smoker. He started spending ALL his time with her and eventually, he ran away to go live with her and her family. It dealt a blow to his family- he used to be the "good" kid. Suddenly, they realize that I'm not so bad. I've always tried to do good for my guy and love him despite his PTSD from the military. Plus I was there to try and be supportive when the younger boy left. Now they love me. Would they have seen that if he didn't run away? Maybe. But it seems less liekly had they not had his brother's crazy girlfriend to compare me to.

Today, I'm being given more responsibility at work and a pay-raise because the girl, my only co-worker, who was above me either quit or got fired. She was suspected of stealing for a long time. I even had money go missing out of my purse. Now its just me and the manager, and she's got a family to worry about so I will have all the other girl's responsibilities including becoming a notary, dealin with claims and dealing with mail box clients. Plus the ones I already had which were the document services, packing/shipping and general maintenance tasks. yikessss. I need these things for my resume, for my future career experience...
but I couldn't get them unless she wasn't there above me.
And she has 2 kids to feed so that's too bad.

Should I feel bad that I don't get things unless something happens to the people ahead of me and I take over?

It's a mix of anxiety and then gratefulness for me.

 

[Morphane]

Have you read the book of Job? All your good fortune could be taken away in an instant due to no fault of your own. I agree with the Stoics, that is better to be indifferent to external events and circumstances.

Paul says much the same thing in Philippians:

"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength."

External circumstances are not important. What is important is your relationship to God.

 

[Macx]

Glad things have come around to the good side for ya. You know, you haven't always had it easy. You know things will get difficult in some way at some time in the future. These are the ups and downs of life. Ride the ride.


P.S. Missed ya, needed to go quiet for a bit though.

 

[NoelAsa]

You did not cause any of these things to happen, they just happened. If not you then someone else would have benefited from them. Life is like this, just accept it.

 

[apm437]

I think it is so important to remember God's grace when good things happen to us. Like the other posters have mentioned, all these good things can be taken away in an instant.

That said, congrats on the promotion and all...but remember to pray for those who were not responsible or experienced misfortune.

 

[bluegreysky]

Have you read the book of Job? All your good fortune could be taken away in an instant due to no fault of your own. I agree with the Stoics, that is better to be indifferent to external events and circumstances.

Paul says much the same thing in Philippians:

"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength."

External circumstances are not important. What is important is your relationship to God.

Well, in my opinion theres a difference between renting/buying a whole house via going down to the real estate place and applying with your hard earned cash...then earning a boyfriend's family's love by doing nice things and not being a psycho.... then working your butt off and getting a promotion for the excellent turnout
AKA
"reap what you sew" (as my mom would say)

vs

getting the house because the other roommate had to give it up...earning a family's love because someone else betrayed them and then they suddenly see you in a different light....and getting the promotion because someone above you lost their position and now you have to assume it and that comes with more money.
AKA
"Win by default" (as politicians say when there was only 2 candidates and the other one dropped out)

yeahhhh......

Just wondering if my gain by the second option is "honorable" enough?

 

[Macx]

That you take the time to even ponder the question is assurance enough of honor. If you had any kind of lack in the honor dept. you would have just said "yippe, what's next" without ever pondering the event's places in gears & springs of cosmic justice.

No worries, just take good care to be a good steward of the things entrusted to you. You know the parable of the talets right? Matthew 25:14-30, give it a read. You have been entrusted with much . .. maybe the better question is, now that you have been entrusted this way, are you going to use it well?

 

[TigerKanga]

If its not your fault then don't feel bad about it. Be grateful and pray for those less fortunate.

 

[Macx]

Unbelievable.

 

[laconicstudent]

Unbelievable.

Have you noticed the similarity in writing style between two of the more recent posters?

 

[God's Fighter]

They post together in every thread.

 

[znr]

Unbelievable.

Apparently you didn't get the memo. It read: less attractive women love better. Everyone knows, the prettier a woman is the worser she loves.

 

[NoelAsa]

Sweetness1 and Angel.Heart, you both need to get more accuarte names that describe you, because the ones you have now are the opposite of how you behave. You are both guilty of misrepresentation. You need to have God in your lives.

 

[Macx]

Have you noticed the similarity in writing style between two of the more recent posters?

Now that you mention it, we may be looking at troll socks.

 

[laconicstudent]

Now that you mention it, we may be looking at troll socks.

Also, we can use the Clausius-Clapeyron equation to calculate the phase transition of a substance in a certain environment. Form as follows.

Where we take the natural log of pressure of condition 2 divided by pressure of condition 1, in torrs. This result equals the molar enthalpy of vaporization for the substance, divided by the gas constant, 8.314 J/mol*K. Multiplied by 1 over the temperature of condition 2 minus 1 divided by the temperature of condition 1.


Using this equation, we can solve for a number of interesting things, including the unknown enthalpy of vaporization for a substance, but it would be most commonly used to determine the boiling point of a liquid at a particular atmospheric pressure.

(translation: You think? )

 

[bluegreysky]

Now that you mention it, we may be looking at troll socks.

lol you guys are funny

 

[bluegreysky]

You look and sound like one of those girls for whom everything comes so easy.

Sounds like you care more about other people then the one you supposedly love.

That is a shallow existence.

You will never be happy this way.


Love should be dominating, such questions would never exist with one who you love.

It would be distant, very distant.




I feel sorry for you.

uhm... do i detect a lotta bit of sour under the sweetness? woww its not like i pushed someone in front of a truck to get my way. they fell on their own and i happened to receive something because of it.

sheesshhhhhhhhhhhh

 

[Macx]

uhm... do i detect a lotta bit of sour under the sweetness? woww its not like i pushed someone in front of a truck to get my way. they fell on their own and i happened to receive something because of it.

sheesshhhhhhhhhhhh

Glad to hear you looking at it that way, shows you got it right in your head.

 

[Peripatetic]

Guilt/conviction would be appropriate if you caused the misfortune of others for your own gain. Since those things happened without your influence, you shouldn't shoulder the guilt. Sympathy is certainly understandable though.