- Feb 11, 2018
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Hi all
I am wondering if you can give me some advice on what I should do. Basically, I am feeling extremely despondent about my current church and am questioning whether I should continue attending my current church or if I should consider another Church.
What has basically led up to this is the following.
My church was a mission established church in my country and used to be extremely passionate, community outgoing and just "felt filled with the Spirit" if you get my meaning.
However, that pastor eventually left back to his country, and a new local pastor took over the church.
The first issue that bugged me was the way he approached a member of the congregation. We were having a study at his home when a member called in tears saying her teen daughter was throwing a tantrum and locked herself in her room. This member begged the pastor in tears if he could speak to her daughter, even over the phone, to calm her down. The pastor point blank refused, said he will not get involved, and told her to call the police if she wanted help with her daughter.
the next issue hit much closer to home. I am a single male who lives by himself. My family live hundreds of miles away in other cities so I am really on my own. One day, I had to go into the hospital for an emergency gall bladder removal. I was scared and felt completely alone, so phoned my pastor to ask if he cant maybe come over to the hospital for an hour or so just to keep me company and pray for me. His response? Sorry, too busy, he cant come over but good luck. Not once during my stay did I hear from him (or any other member of the congregation for that matter). That was the time I truly felt totally alone. Even after returning home, during my recovery period I desperately needed help for transport, buying food and even just day to day activities for cooking, as it was extremely risky I could tear my stitches and get infection if I over exerted myself. I asked for help from the congregation and pastor. the response? Sorry.....too busy...cant help. can understand some people can't, but not even 1 person tried to help me even for a day or something? I think that was the moment my passion for church well and truly died. A Christian family? During the one time I needed them, they basically told me to get lost. Btw I did find someone to help me, from a friend who does not attend my church.
This then led to me to stop going to Church for a couple of weeks. I got one call from Pastor and Deacon who asked where I was. I explained and said I just need some time to clear my head and then I will come back. Then the next thing, I got a letter in the post informing me that my membership to the church was cancelled because I was not attending.
(in case you were wondering, I was very active in my church, leading bible studies, volunteered at holiday bible club, was a deacon for a year, on the music team etc. But this was mostly when the old pastor was still around; under this pastor most of these things such as my Bible study etc have been cancelled by him as he wants to lead everything himself or says there is no money to hold such an activity, etc).
I am so angry and depressed, I don't even know if I want to attend any church anymore. What I have picked up is that churches are populated by hypocrites, all saintly on the outside when a passionate pastor is in charge but when you do need them they show their true colours. I just feel so desperately alone now and I am now at the stage where my faith is floundering and my whole outlook on Christianity is very bleak
Is there any advice anyone can give me? Am I over reacting to how I feel about my Church's reaction to my situation? I am so lost
So the church is the people, right? If you have no people there, then there is no church there anyway.
Now I'm going based on what you have said, and I honestly have no idea what is really going on.
But it seems strange that no one in the congregation, cared enough to help you, especially since you were not even asking them for much. Just a little help after the surgery.
It seems like there isn't a church there anymore. Where were the people you were close with in church? Did you not have any people you were close with? OR did the people you were close with, all leave?
If you have no people you are close with at this church, then maybe you are not as engaged in the church as you think. Doing Bible studies doesn't mean much, if people come to the group as strangers, and leave as strangers. If you are meeting with, or leading a Bible study for months on end, and you are no more closer with people, than the strangers you were on the first day, something is wrong.
On the other hand, if all the people you are close with, have left the church, then you need to leave the church too. G-d is removing the light from this congregation, and you need to go where the light is.
It's really hard to determine what the deal is, from this limited information. But if you want just the brief overhead glance.... I think you need to move on. The light went out. Time to go find a new place with light.
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