Should Grooms Be More Involved?

[Trinci]

I would really enjoy hearing what people have to say on this. I truly believe Marriage is about being a team on everything. If a groom doesn’t see the wedding as an opportunity to express his love by helping share in the task of planning such a significant day in their lives, then how dedicate is he to her and their relationship? In marriage there are a lot of things you’re not going to want to participate in, but you do it anyway because you really want to fully support the other person.

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Thank you!
Jeff

 

[Mayzoo]

Marriage is a team effort. In a team, every member is not, by definition, active in every event. A game plan is discussed in advance and rolls for any upcoming event are decided during the discussion. Should the team not agree on individual rolls, compromise is critical.

The wedding planning is entirely a unique experience for each couple. Some women want help, others do NOT. Some men wish to help, others do not. This would be an area where the couple needs to discuss their expectations and reach a compromise.

 

[ChildByGrace]

I think it also depends on who is paying for the wedding.

I know that with my wedding it was mire what my parents and I wanted as they were paying. They were giving me to my husband and the wedding was their outward expression of this. My dh was involved in some stuff. We discussed slot of it together but I know that if my parents hadn't really wanted something the dh did then we wouldn't of gone with it as I respected the fact it was my parents hard earned money.

 

[feedingtheweeds]

My fiance is currently in Afghanistan so I am taking care of the wedding plans. When I bring things up to him he just replies "Whatever you want, this is your day". It kind of shuts me down a little bit because I want him to care about what happens in our wedding.

 

[~Lynz~]

our team effort is hes paying for it and im planning it. lol

in all honesty i run everything by him but he just keeps agreeing with everything i suggest casue he wants me to be happy,

it annoys me that he wont just say what he likes and what he doesnt. but i have said to him he has to plan the whole honeymoon and ill plan the wedding.

i dont like planing holiday id rather he did it. and well the wedding he has all th input that he wants.

he just doesnt put that much input in. as he says he knows it will be the happiest day of his life if we wear jeans and go to the registry office or we go all out and have a big castle wedding,

different grooms have different input. the balance me and my groom have suits us. he wants me to be happy and i want him to be happy. he will let me plan what every wedding i think suits us and i will not spend all the money.

 

[eatenbylocusts]

There is a huge difference in a man's dedication to his future wife and his dedication to picking flowers, linens, etc. The wedding is a one day event that many men would prefer to really simplify. Marriage is a lifetime and you cannot predict the success of one by how well the groom helps out with the wedding planning or even how nice he is during the wedding day.

My husband just wanted his out of state family there with us and was adamant about the type of western shirt he wanted to wear. Everything else was left to me.