Hello ScottF
I wrote an e-mail to a Priest once asking about Catholics dating non-Catholics (whether they be Protestant, non-Christians etc) and how that relates to the "be not be unequally yoked" verses of Scripture. I have pasted his response below, as well as what the Catechism of Catholic faith says on this matter. Most of it relates to marriage with a non-believer, but I still think it applies to the situation of a Catholic and Protestant as most of the basic underlying prinicples still apply.
God Bless
2 Cor. 6,14 says: "Do not be yoked with those who are different…" This terminology should be seen in the context of
Deut. 22, 10 where it is forbidden to yoke a bull with a donkey. Their pull and step are different. (The donkey may pull backward stubbornly while the bull will be charging ahead! You can imagine the result!) St. Paul does not want us to have that kind of situation!
St Paul is not referring specifically to marriage in the above verse though that is included: he has in mind false teachers, membership in other religions, commercial partnerships with unbelievers and marriage partnerships. Those Christians who advocate a literal reading of scripture usually use this verse to forbid marriage with non-believers (the unsaved) or they demand conversion before marriage!
The Catholic Church does not interpret this verse in a literal way and has not forbidden marriage with non-believers but it does
caution such marriages. There can be serious problems down the road. In the past the Catholic Church used to make the non-Catholic partner agree to have the children born of this marriage baptized as Catholics. After Vatican II the Catholic partner is
reminded of her obligation as far as it is in her power to baptize the children. The non-Catholic party is
only informed of the obligations of the Catholic partner. Marriage is a natural right and the Church respects the free choice of people.
Non-believers are not of one colour: some non-believers have an open spirit and if the Christian partner is strong and true to his/her faith,
he/she can lead the non-Catholic partner to salvation in Christ. I myself have seen so many such beautiful families who have come to the Lord through marriage. Of course, the church advises caution, especially with
militant non-believers. Sadly some Catholics have given up their faith in Christ to marry an unbeliever who demands a conversion to his/her religion! St Paul has such situations in his mind. All that the Catholic Church says is that the Catholic partner should have the freedom to practice his/her faith and 'try' to bring up in the faith the children born of this marriage.
Mixed-marriages (i.e. marriage with a non Christian or a non-Catholic) have been always allowed by the Church. Previously it was allowed rarely but nowadays it is allowed more frequently. I cannot think of any situation when the Church would 'forbid' a mixed marriage, except in a clear case where the priest is convinced that the militant non-Catholic will force the Catholic partner to give up his/her faith. It may advise strongly against such a union when the faith of the Catholic may be in clear danger.
In mixed marriages, in order to caution the parties concerned, there is need to get a dispensation from the Bishop. This dispensation is
rarely, if at all, denied.
Nowadays mixed marriages are usually celebrated in a marriage ceremony, without the Mass. Thus the issue of communion does not arise. The Mass is celebrated only if the Catholic party insists on it. In that case the non-Catholic party cannot receive Holy Communion and this is made known to him/her beforehand. Of course, the Catholic party has always (incluidng the Mass at the wedding) the choice not to receive communion if he/she chooses to do so.
END
Catechism 1633 - 1637:
1633 In many countries the situation of a
mixed marriage (marriage between a Catholic and a baptized non-Catholic) often arises. It requires particular attention on the part of couples and their pastors. A case of marriage with
disparity of cult (between a Catholic and a non-baptized person) requires even greater circumspection.
1634 Difference of confession between the spouses
does not constitute an insurmountable obstacle for marriage, when they succeed in placing in common what they have received from their respective communities, and learn from each other the way in which each lives in fidelity to Christ. But the difficulties of mixed marriages must not be underestimated. They arise from the fact that the separation of Christians has not yet been overcome. The spouses risk experiencing the tragedy of Christian disunity even in the heart of their own home. Disparity of cult can further aggravate these difficulties. Differences about faith and the very notion of marriage, but also different religious mentalities, can become sources of tension in marriage, especially as regards the education of children. The temptation to religious indifference can then arise.
1635 According to the law in force in the Latin Church, a mixed marriage needs for liceity the
express permission of ecclesiastical authority. In case of disparity of cult an
express dispensation from this impediment is required for the validity of the marriage. This permission or dispensation presupposes that both parties know and do not exclude the essential ends and properties of marriage; and furthermore that the Catholic party confirms the obligations, which have been made known to the non-Catholic party, of preserving his or her own faith and ensuring the baptism and education of the children in the Catholic Church.
1636 Through ecumenical dialogue Christian communities in many regions have been able to put into effect a
common pastoral practice for mixed marriages. Its task is to help such couples live out their particular situation in the light of faith, overcome the tensions between the couple's obligations to each other and towards their ecclesial communities, and encourage the flowering of what is common to them in faith and respect for what separates them.
1637 In marriages with disparity of cult the Catholic spouse has a particular task: "For the unbelieving husband is consecrated through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is consecrated through her husband." It is a great joy for the Christian spouse and for the Church if this "consecration" should lead to the free conversion of the other spouse to the Christian faith. Sincere married love, the humble and patient practice of the family virtues, and perseverance in prayer can prepare the non-believing spouse to accept the grace of conversion.
