Saying he is sorry and won't do it again to me is not repentance.
Even if someone repents and you forgive the person, still the person needs to be tested about if and how God wants us to trust the person. 1 Timothy 3:1-10, to me, clearly shows that a man needs to be tested before he is trusted to
"take care of the church of God". And, "of course", such a man likely has been forgiven by Jesus, for his past; yet, this does not mean he is to automatically be trusted.
And even we sheep can tell the difference. For example, when Peter decided to appoint deacons, he told the "disciples" to choose men who were
"full of the Holy Spirit and wisdom"; he knew the sheep could tell . . . by their sense of smell and other senses of God's love (Hebrews 5:14) . . . if a person was really full of God's Spirit and wisdom. So, when I hear that religious leaders or a church have promoted someone who turns out to be a predator or adulterer or other evil doer, this tells me there is also the problem that even those leaders could not tell the difference.
So, the evil doer is not their real problem, then, I consider, if ones can't tell the difference between a person who is doing evil and one who is living and ministering God's own love.
if it came to light involuntarily......he's not ready to be a Pastor.
If someone has kept on doing something, in secret, this is betraying trust, and betraying trust is not loving the wife and family and church. Betrayal is an act of hatred, I understand. So, if someone can keep on doing what is a work of betraying, this is a major problem . . . not just a one-time "slip-up" or mistake, because the person is investing in this.
If we ask God to forgive us as we forgive others we better be sure we want that.
Yes, and expect to be tested before trusted. Trust, in Christ, is not blind, but we have God's light to see people right and see how He wants us to trust each person or not.
"And this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in knowledge and all discernment." (Philippians 1:9)
And pay attention to how you might have helped yourself to get hurt, because of you not being able to tell the difference. God does not lead us to trust wrong and evil people; so we can simply stay with however our Father guides us
"continually", and He will keep us from trusting the wrong people.
I keep seeing a tendency of people to make a big thing of blaming whoever has betrayed and hurt them, but not a word about how they fooled their own selves into trusting even evil people.
I do not think that a Pastor should try to give the false impression that they are sinless and I was glad in the past to have a Pastor who was open about his personal struggles.
"nor as being lords over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock." (1 Peter 5:3)
However, Jesus says not to judge by outward appearance > John 7:24. There can be people clever enough to confess wrong things that they see fit to confess, in order to make themselves look honest. So, we need to pray and be guided by God who knows. Plus, I think you can tell if someone is ministering for you to become more real with God and how Jesus has us loving any and all people.
Adultery is not a slip up,
I have been told that there have been times when a pastor went in the office with a woman and they got emotionally involved while talking about her problems. And then it went to adultery, for the sake of being emotionally intimate in dealing with her troubles. That, I can see, could be sort of a slip-up. But if it really was, then I'd say the man would, right away, deal with it by exposing it. And then take action, right away, to be evaluated.
But if he keeps it going, including by keeping it a secret . . . it is no way some "slip-up" or "mistake". A moment of weakness is one thing, but keeping it going is not for only a moment. And you can't love people while you are betraying, I would say.
Yes they should. They are judged harsher and are held to a higher account.
1 Timothy 3:2, 10;
Titus 1:7
These standards are to be met, in order for a man to be just considered.
He should step down unless and until he has been able to reach full restoration with God and with his family and with his congregation.
And I would say the people who trusted him need to evaluate if they can tell the difference, if they fooled themselves into trusting someone who is not qualified. We are responsible . . . accountable to God . . . for who we trust and how. We can be guided by God who knows.
Look at what is said in 1Tim
Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not a drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money.
What that clearly shows is that to be qualified to be a pastor or an elder a man must show evidence that he is fit.
And it says he rules his own home well. You need to personally know him and his example, possibly, in order to be sure about this.
Christians should expect their pastors and elders to meet the biblical qualifications set forth in Timothy and Titus. Those requirements are not perfection - but committing adultery is a long, long way from those requirements.
It says a candidate must be
"blameless". I understand that
"blameless", here, means how God's love cures our character, after years of maturing in Jesus. And a person like this will run his cup over to others so they also become how God's love cures our nature (1 John 4:17). So, this should be obvious,
if we can tell the difference, if the person has become like this.
submitting ourselves one to another of people who do walk in truth and in his spirit and can flat read your mail and will call you on your stuff
Well, mail can be confidential, but I suppose you could have certain trusted people and let others know that your trusted people also will be reading the mail. And a man qualified has his lady who has helped him become really qualified; so certainly he would not want her to be "far" from his activities, since she has helped him so much. She is part of his example, and their marriage runs its cup over to other marriages; so people need to personally know them and their example, so they all are sharing as family. But it looks like a number of pastors have stayed distant, not personal examples whom people know as family.
If you were a congregant sitting in a pew listening to this pastor, wouldn't you have a lack of respect for him (or her) that would cloud the message. The sheep are to trust the shepherd.
As I offer, I would need to pray and seek our Father's correction so I would not be so easy to fool, if I had fooled my own self into trusting the person. In my case, I have known a number of men who later went a bad way, and I had a bad feeling about each of them, even years before their adultery or other wrongs became public; so I did not buy however they were showing in public. And I am not super-spiritual or a prophet!! But I could tell they were not ministering grace which is the effect of God's own love to correct me and mature me.
Yes. What you do is you take away his position, whisk him and his wife away to an out-of-town marriage counseling center, and provide some help for him to get on his feet in the secular marketplace.
I would say that could be good > get him away, kind of like he is in a prayer closet.
But > if you are family in Jesus, why would you send a person away? But if the person is not family with you, then . . . you don't have trust, and that one is not trusting you, which means there is a big problem. If you have failed, why would you go away from your own family who loves you??
In any case, do what God has you do. If the man was not right for doing things as family, then it "might" not matter where he is.
Because the gifts and calling of God are without repentance,
There is a big difference between a good and perfect gift, and growth and maturity in God's grace. I believe there is the pastoral gift, but this is not a qualification, in Timothy 3:1-10, for one to be trusted to
"take care of the church of God". A man learns in his own home, first, how to care for people in our Father's family caring and sharing way. This takes time and correction with the help of his wife, and maturing. However, his gift might help pastor him to become qualified
