How much variation in theological beliefs can there be and still have a workable relationship?
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Should a calvinist ever date a non calvinist?
- Thread starter Universio
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ThatWhichIsnt
evidence trumps all
Of course. If republicans and democrats can date and get married then we should be able to do the same. Now, in marriage it will get interesting. The Husband must be the spiritual leader of the family, so it is his job to lovingly show his family the truth of Christ. The wife, as dictated by Scripture, must submit to that leadership and trust God.
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cajunhillbilly
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The main thing I look for in a dating relationship are (1) does she know the Lord and seek to serve Him and (2) do we get along and enjoy each other's company. Beyond that I don't worry. I am dating a great Christian lady right now and she meets both criteria. Praise God.
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Apologetic_Warrior
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Technically, on paper at least, the less variation in theological belief, the less disagreement, the closer they are in their "walk" with God, the better a couple should get along. But not necessarily, since life is so complicated and involves so many non-theological (at least in our perception) things.
Personally, I think the two main things are 1.) that both are Christians, 2.) that they can agree to disagree and be open to listening to one another, and able to appreciate where there is agreement. I can see though, where there could be more serious issues with certain denominations. Like for example, say one person is a member of a Catholic Church and the other a member of the "Church of Christ" denomination. Well, both denominations claim to be the "one true Church", and say there are kids involved, and the Catholic wants the kids to attend Catholic school. That might be a big problem for the "Church of Christ" person. In general, perhaps not in all cases, but generally speaking, I would say that it's best if Catholics and EO (basically all "one true Church" folks) marry within their own denomination, and Protestants marry those within Protestantism.
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file13
A wild boar has entered in the vineyard
As far as I'm concerned, as long as they're down with the Five Solas (which of course assumes basic catholic (small 'c') orthodoxy), then I don't see why not. It's like looking for the "perfect church" to fit your ideal theology. You'll probably never find it if you're that particular on the essentials.
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Hmmm....not sure I would ever recommand a reformed believer attend a church where they are going to disgree with just about everything that is said in the sermons - reformed soteriology effects every doctrine of scripture brother. So on that basis perhaps it should not be advised for a reformed believer to date a semi-pelagian.
Furthermore no arminian can adhere to the five sola's. For a start even the most classical arminian redefines the term 'grace' to mean something different to that which the reformers identified as grace, sola gratia is out for the non-reformed my friend
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Scottish Knight
Veteran
of course, every couple will have to work through differences but it there can be a wide range of views and still be workable. I'm courting a wonderful catholic lady and we've made things work. It's down to individuals, not so much which denominations they come from.
It can be tough, but I think courting someone from obviously a very different tradition has been postive. It's caused me to examine my beliefs and why I hold them, and wrestling with issues, slowly reaching agreement together and drawing closer has been a great journey. I think it's made us more well rounded christians overall. Sometimes we can be too stuck into one denominational mindset
It can be tough, but I think courting someone from obviously a very different tradition has been postive. It's caused me to examine my beliefs and why I hold them, and wrestling with issues, slowly reaching agreement together and drawing closer has been a great journey. I think it's made us more well rounded christians overall. Sometimes we can be too stuck into one denominational mindset
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CalledOutOne
The World Weary
My girlfriend (if you can call her that -- we don't "date") wasn't a Calvinist until we started "talking". She was convinced with one explanation. I guess I got lucky.
I know some who won't date non-Reformed girls. If that's really what they want to do then fine. If it bothers you that much don't do it.
Personally, I go to an Arminian church and many people there are Arminians. It's gotten to the point where it is affecting my spiritual growth (I can't learn in a church that teaches things that are wrong). It is that bad.
I don't think I would have started a relationship with Maddy if she hadn't agreed with me on so much. Agreeing is the grounds of fellowship: The more you agree, the better fellowship you have.
I know some who won't date non-Reformed girls. If that's really what they want to do then fine. If it bothers you that much don't do it.
Personally, I go to an Arminian church and many people there are Arminians. It's gotten to the point where it is affecting my spiritual growth (I can't learn in a church that teaches things that are wrong). It is that bad.
I don't think I would have started a relationship with Maddy if she hadn't agreed with me on so much. Agreeing is the grounds of fellowship: The more you agree, the better fellowship you have.
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Very intersting perspective, hadn't thought of the advantages towards dating someone with different views
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bricklayer
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The most important thing about anyone is what they think of God.
A Calvinist and a non-Calvinist describe a completely different God, I dare say an infinitely different God.
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CalledOutOne
The World Weary
Now you're getting on the verge of neo-gnostic Calvinism.
Are non-Calvinists idolaters? Are they unsaved?
You can't have one without the other.
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bricklayer
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In the context of a potential spouse, take care to make such judgments.
As to whether or not "non-Calvinists are idolators" or "unsaved" take care to not make judgments.
Are babies not-born because they have poor comprehension relative to adults?
We are all born again as ignorant as babies; some grow up, and others just grow older.
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Esdra
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I don't think you can say that the various Christian denominations and churches describe a different God.
Non-Christians may have a "different God". (Like the islamic Allah.)
But as for non-Calvinists and Calvinists I would say that the theological agreements are greater than the differences.
And the Christian God is always the same, IMO.
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Esdra
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That is definitely a challenge in an interdenominational marriage.
Maybe the spouses can raise the children "Christian", based on the Bible and other believes that are equal in both denominations, and then at the age of 14 let the child decide. But this is certainly a difficult thing to do.
In the CC it is still the case that if you want to marry a non-Catholic there, you have to promise to raise the children in the Catholic faith.
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Osage Bluestem
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The Conductor
Χριστῷ συνεσταύρωμαι
Some people may be able to. I am not one of those people. If I believed that it was merely due to ignorance rather than conviction I would get her to read passages like John 6 but if she came out an Arminian I don't know what I'd do. Maybe I'll just be a Baptist monk.
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