Elsa wants a shopping "spree" for her birthday in lieu of presents. I'm struggling to decide how much to give her. What do you think is reasonable for a 12 year old to have to buy clothes, etc? (in Texas BTW... we will be shopping in the mall if that helps)
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Shopping Spree
- Thread starter Meshavrischika
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Black-bird fly
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I'd just give her the same budget you would have had if you purchased the gift for her.
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So, you wouldn't be shopping with her? If not, then I agree, that's a lot of money to entrust to a 12 year old in the mall. You might offer her the full amount if you are "allowed"honestly that'd be more than i'd feel particularly safe giving her... it's around 150.00
to shop with her or, say, $75 if she insists on going with her friends (or whoever). Tell her you're a paranoid mama, it really has nothing to do with trusting her. (I tell my kids that all the time. It's the truth!)
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I would be... but I tend to be a control freak. hence my problem giving her what I'd spend anyway
hence my problem giving her what I'd spend anyway
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Black-bird fly
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Is there anyone close to you and Elsa that you could trust to let her have the freedom but still have final say on the purchase?
My aunt used to go shopping with me all the time because my mom had trouble backing off to let me make those decisions.
My aunt used to go shopping with me all the time because my mom had trouble backing off to let me make those decisions.
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ugh. mom will be here (it will be the week after my surgery) so i suppose i could let her have final say instead of me (that way I can butt out, but there is a responsible adult "in charge" in case she decides to have her nose pierced or something)
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You'll need to be prepared in case she does choose something that you find less than a good buy. This is all part of learning to let them make choices, and then letting them learn from those choices. She might surprise you with how frugal she is.
.
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^^Agreed. I remember doing this one time with my mom for my birthday and suddenly the $75 jeans didn't seem so appealing.
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jessesgirl
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If you have someone you trust go with her, give her the amount you would typically spend on her. If not, like someone else suggested, just give her 1/2. Half is good.
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jessesgirl
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ROFLOL!!!
What's sad is that you likely weren't trying to be funny. But that was funny.
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Personally I would feel more comfortable giving her 1/2 to spend as she wishes, then having the adult that's with her (if it's not you) still buying stuff for her, but maybe more frugal purchases. (that's assuming your daughter isn't very frugal)
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Birbitt
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If an adult goes with her I would give her the full 150.00 and let her make her own choices (within reason ie no tatoos or piercings things like that) other than that let her make the choice if she chooses to get one outfit for that money then that's all she gets...however when most teenage girls get their hands on a budgeted amount of money they will shop more conservatively than if someone was buying for them..because they suddenly realize that if they purchase say 3 shirts off the clearance rack they can get a pair of jeans to go with them....and still have money left over vs buying that 85.00 top that they can only wear with one particular pair of pants they already own...etc.
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thanks guys. i appreciate your advice. i'll try to pry my hands off the steering wheel and see if she can be frugal with her $. (this is killing my mommy control psyche though)
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Laurie919
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What do you spend total on a birthday party and gifts?
The last two years I have "bought" Taylor off. Instead of a party and gifts I have just given her the money to buy what she wants. Even though I gave her the money, it has still come out cheaper in the long run because I don't know how to do small parties.
$200 - $250 for an inflatable water slide
$50.00 cake
$100 - $150 on Food
$200 on a gift
I have given her $400 - $500 for the last couple years. Now year before last she got over on me because on of the pastors at church decided to have a cook out for her and I ended up cooking for 60+ people.
The last two years I have "bought" Taylor off. Instead of a party and gifts I have just given her the money to buy what she wants. Even though I gave her the money, it has still come out cheaper in the long run because I don't know how to do small parties.
$200 - $250 for an inflatable water slide
$50.00 cake
$100 - $150 on Food
$200 on a gift
I have given her $400 - $500 for the last couple years. Now year before last she got over on me because on of the pastors at church decided to have a cook out for her and I ended up cooking for 60+ people.
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You clearly don't have teenage daughters do you??
I have a 13 year old. She has exquisite taste in fashion. She shops many places but one of her favorite places is thrift stores. At school she's always getting asked where she found whatever piece of clothing, which she bought from the thrift store. She usually tells people she doesn't know because her mom bought it for her. One time she got some old plastic metallic looking shoes with suns and moons on them from a family friend. She wore them to school and they were a big hit. I think they were from the 80's so she wore them just at the right time where the fashion cycle restarted.
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