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-And as far as showing interest, yes, show interest, but again, ease into it. It's better to ease in slowly, even if it's a little bit too slowly, than to just cannonball right in. Again, this sort of mystery will build her curiousity, and make her think about you and what makes you tick... which equates directly to her thinking about you more, which leads to her developing feelings for you.
Fair enough; I certainly agree with you on this point. I think IP's point, however, is that guys shouldn't seem TOO eager, lest they come off as desperate or needy. That is our natural inclination, after all; while girls in their late teens and early 20's are a hot commodity, guys in that age group aren't exactly in demand. So a lot of us have to overcome the inclination to throw ourselves at a hot 21-year old's feet and beg.(bolded part) No. But they probably shared some of them. My point was they made it clear they were interested in me. They didnt play hot and cold with me.
Nobody really values things that are easily gotten.
But you, yourself, said that most of the guys who you liked, were not upfront all at once, which contradicts your disagreement with my point. You might say that you prefer one thing, but is it what you prefer, or what you want to prefer or think that you prefer? Does history say otherwise?Granted, there is some truth in that.
This I disagree with still. Sure there were those that caused those "butterlflies" by not being upfront but they were the ones who turned out to not like me as I had thought, yet I had spent all that time building up to liking them because of their "mystery."
Dancing is enjoyable but I hate playing games and trying to read/interpret a guy's motives/feelings.
I prefer honesty and clarity
nah. I have dated guys who were upfront and I liked it. If/when they did stuff that was "mysterious," I got very frusterated.
An important point indeed; the difference between one wishes what one wants in a mate, or what one thinks one should want in a mate, and what one actually wants in a mate, is pretty significant. Whenever I see threads asking, "What do YOU want in a significant other?", I always feel I have to take the responses with a grain of salt, because what people tend to post is what they think they should say, or what they wish they could honestly say, instead of what actually makes or breaks the deal for them.But you, yourself, said that most of the guys who you liked, were not upfront all at once, which contradicts your disagreement with my point. You might say that you prefer one thing, but is it what you prefer, or what you want to prefer or think that you prefer? Does history say otherwise?
thats not what was being advocated. Thats just common sense. even my friends don't know my whole life's story. i'm not about to tell some guy on a blind date thatIMO it's not about "game playing" but just not telling EVERYTHING on the first second or third date. Think about it, if Jesus had told everyone he met, the whole scenerio of what would happen in his life, do you think anyone would have followed Him? They probably would have thought he was a loon. (some even did, as it was). Relationships take time.....time to build them.....and in that time we develop trust and fondness, and are able to share with each other. It's not "game playing" it's just getting to know someone. Any relationship you have had, you didn't tell them your life story in the first meeting, and all your deep secrets, and wishes did you? It just takes time. Now I do agree that people should be straightforward about the fact that they like someone, and shouldn't play games about that, but the other details need to wait, until it's necessary, when you've decided it's a LTR. Just my opinion.
what IP was talking about was creating mystery in order to get her interested. Thats a game.
Nope, what I was talking about is basically the same thing MemoriesByMichelle was talking about. It's no more a game than wearing makeup and a nice outfit and styled hair on the date instead of no makeup and sweats with undone hair to the date is.thats not what was being advocated. Thats just common sense. even my friends don't know my whole life's story. i'm not about to tell some guy on a blind date that
what IP was talking about was creating mystery in order to get her interested. Thats a game.
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