- May 17, 2004
- 164
- 27
- Faith
- Non-Denom
- Marital Status
- Married
Isn't it funny how much of what we learn as believers, we already knew? You know it to a small extent, you could even recite the Scripture, but until it penetrates to your heart, it's like a seed in the ground unwatered. Well, He gave me a lesson this week that will probably leave almost everyone that reads it thinking: How obvious!
I have come to the point where I've lost so many things recently, I began to blame myself. Poor planning, lack of backup plans, not seeing into the future. So much went wrong, I just began to think: there's GOT to be something about me that's seriously defective!
This isn't a complaint list, but just to give you a general idea what I mean:
3 of my 4 parents died = didn't do enough to take care of them, didn't pray enough, there must've been something I could've done that God might have let me keep them
Ill for 6 months = must not have taken enough care with my temple
Then jobless for 6 months now = unhireable, if that's a word
Lost my fiance = failed my marriage BEFORE it even began
College plans fell through because I was ill = uneducated
Moved back in with my family when I was ill = loss of "independence"
No car = burden when I ask to use the family car for interviews, etc.
The house falling apart and I can't do a thing = helpless & unhelpful
Hateful family doesn't want me to exist, especially now that I've returned a Christian = ineffective Christian
Anyway, the list was just adding up this year and, although I know it's not true, I was feeling like a lost cause. [Sheesh, sorry, it seems to take forever just to explain where I'm coming from]
So often, I've been coming across devotionals which remind me of our God's love, acceptance, forgiveness & newness in Christ. His ability to use us in spite of us. Thoiugh I don't have any to paste here, I thought I'd share what I've been learning.
Pressing more and more on me has been this question:
If God made me flesh, why do I let my flesh frustrate me so, rather than looking for His purpose in creating me as flesh? How is this good/useful?
As I mentioned in a previous post, I read the prodigal son the other day and that really helped to renew my hopes.
We're all the prodigal son, we've all made mistakes.
Some things are consequences, some are tests, some trials, but all are blessings-yes, I said blessings.
God uses all these things to bring glory to Himself.
I began as dead flesh and now I am alive in Christ with the tarnish of a dead flesh.
This is a design for failure. I'm BOUND to err, to be weak, to be ignorant, but the wonder of this is His strength showing in our weakness, His wisdom showing in our ignorance.
When we misuse things, if we want to know what we're doing wrong, if we're asking for conviction, God will do it!
He wants us to glorify Him as much as we want to.
It seems so obvious, but sometimes I look to Him, saying: why are you letting these bad things happen to me when I tell everyone You're my Lord and You're taking care of me? You are giving everyone I know so much ammunition to think wow, this God surely did not part the Red Sea, He can't even give April what she needs and hold her life together.
But who knows what we need better than He does? When He doesn't provide something we think is essential, does that say WE were wrong, or HE was wrong? It certainly cannot be the latter.
The bottom line is: we all fail, but we are saved from being failures.
It is not OUR names that are on the line, but His. We cannot only say we belong to Him, but we must live out the fact that we belong to Him and failure becomes just another means He uses us to demonstrate His greatness, His power, His renewal.
Like the king of the Old Testament who gave himself credit for his kingdom and God took him from his throne and he was eating grass and dwelling the wilderness like an animal. And God showed him that He was in control all along and that the credit could not be taken from Him and this man was restored to the throne. His error was a message for us. He failed, but God protected him and made it impossible for him to BE a failure. He became a vessel for God's glory even in grave error. I call that success.
So while I still sometimes choose the old and decaying flesh rather than the new nature of Christ, Christ is still victorious. When you become plagued with a feeling of helplessness, worry, fear, regret, guilt, know that He is the same for you, and that your weakness is just another opportunity to be used. What a blessed relief to live for Him and not for us! It's amazing how many different experiences there are, different lessons that reveal new degrees of our freedom in Christ.
I have come to the point where I've lost so many things recently, I began to blame myself. Poor planning, lack of backup plans, not seeing into the future. So much went wrong, I just began to think: there's GOT to be something about me that's seriously defective!
This isn't a complaint list, but just to give you a general idea what I mean:
3 of my 4 parents died = didn't do enough to take care of them, didn't pray enough, there must've been something I could've done that God might have let me keep them
Ill for 6 months = must not have taken enough care with my temple
Then jobless for 6 months now = unhireable, if that's a word
Lost my fiance = failed my marriage BEFORE it even began
College plans fell through because I was ill = uneducated
Moved back in with my family when I was ill = loss of "independence"
No car = burden when I ask to use the family car for interviews, etc.
The house falling apart and I can't do a thing = helpless & unhelpful
Hateful family doesn't want me to exist, especially now that I've returned a Christian = ineffective Christian
Anyway, the list was just adding up this year and, although I know it's not true, I was feeling like a lost cause. [Sheesh, sorry, it seems to take forever just to explain where I'm coming from]
So often, I've been coming across devotionals which remind me of our God's love, acceptance, forgiveness & newness in Christ. His ability to use us in spite of us. Thoiugh I don't have any to paste here, I thought I'd share what I've been learning.
Pressing more and more on me has been this question:
If God made me flesh, why do I let my flesh frustrate me so, rather than looking for His purpose in creating me as flesh? How is this good/useful?
As I mentioned in a previous post, I read the prodigal son the other day and that really helped to renew my hopes.
We're all the prodigal son, we've all made mistakes.
Some things are consequences, some are tests, some trials, but all are blessings-yes, I said blessings.
God uses all these things to bring glory to Himself.
I began as dead flesh and now I am alive in Christ with the tarnish of a dead flesh.
This is a design for failure. I'm BOUND to err, to be weak, to be ignorant, but the wonder of this is His strength showing in our weakness, His wisdom showing in our ignorance.
When we misuse things, if we want to know what we're doing wrong, if we're asking for conviction, God will do it!
He wants us to glorify Him as much as we want to.
It seems so obvious, but sometimes I look to Him, saying: why are you letting these bad things happen to me when I tell everyone You're my Lord and You're taking care of me? You are giving everyone I know so much ammunition to think wow, this God surely did not part the Red Sea, He can't even give April what she needs and hold her life together.
But who knows what we need better than He does? When He doesn't provide something we think is essential, does that say WE were wrong, or HE was wrong? It certainly cannot be the latter.
The bottom line is: we all fail, but we are saved from being failures.
It is not OUR names that are on the line, but His. We cannot only say we belong to Him, but we must live out the fact that we belong to Him and failure becomes just another means He uses us to demonstrate His greatness, His power, His renewal.
Like the king of the Old Testament who gave himself credit for his kingdom and God took him from his throne and he was eating grass and dwelling the wilderness like an animal. And God showed him that He was in control all along and that the credit could not be taken from Him and this man was restored to the throne. His error was a message for us. He failed, but God protected him and made it impossible for him to BE a failure. He became a vessel for God's glory even in grave error. I call that success.
So while I still sometimes choose the old and decaying flesh rather than the new nature of Christ, Christ is still victorious. When you become plagued with a feeling of helplessness, worry, fear, regret, guilt, know that He is the same for you, and that your weakness is just another opportunity to be used. What a blessed relief to live for Him and not for us! It's amazing how many different experiences there are, different lessons that reveal new degrees of our freedom in Christ.

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