Shared interests?

[ravendta]

How important are shared interests to you when looking for a possible relationship? For example, I know I won't be able to get along with someone who isn't into fantasy/adventure stories because my whole life pretty much revolves around them (I'm an aspiring author). That's not to say this person would have to be into EVERYTHING I like, but that is certainly something that'll be necessary I think.

At the same time, what if this person is into something that you've never really taken interest in (I'll use acting as an example)? Would you try to learn more about the subject for the person's sake or let them have their interest while you have yours?

The reason I ask is because I've always wondered what would happen if I were to fall in love with someone even if we had no shared interests. I mean, I know that opposites attract sometimes, but I'll probably wonder what it would've been like to be with someone who liked what I liked... Whaddaya think?

 

[kelco]

I think shared intrests are great and yes I would try to learn more about and/or try the things that person was intrested in. But also we each need to have some things that are uniquely ours. If we all were interested in the same things this would be a really boring world.

 

[invisiblebabe]

I would say at least some shared interests are necessary for a relationship to work. ... however as I say, I would never want to marry my clone!

We'd both BETTER have the common interest in following Christ and desiring to glorify God together as well as individually. Without that common interest.... forget it!

Theology, psychology, and philosophy are some interests I would like my future husband to share.... more for being able to have meaningful and deep discussions than for any other reason. Creative interests would also be a huge plus as well. I doubt I'd be happy with a guy who doesn't share any of these, but two or three out of 'em would still make a good match, most likely.

Gymnastics is another borderline obsession of mine Umm, I've never actually dated another fellow gymnast though, nor do I feel I need to. I also want some interests to be only my own, and some to be only his own.

 

[baylord]

I've been down the similar interest road. I once dated this girl who, I swear, was my twin. We would complete each other's thoughts and sentences. We knew exactly what the other was thinking at all times. It was quite scary. Of course, I being the hopeless romantic, thought this was the one girl in the world for me. Boy was I wrong. Turns out having being the same age and having the same major and background only means that you will eventually become:
1. Bored with each other.
2. Competition for one another.

Now I embrace any differences that I find in a person as long as it isn't a major conflict in moral, theological, or political realms.

Just my thoughts.

 

[chickenfeet]

i prefer someone whos the complete opposite of me. lil to no shared interest.. with the exception of beliefs.

spices things up.. which is good, cuz i get bored easily.

 

[ravendta]

I've been down the similar interest road. I once dated this girl who, I swear, was my twin. We would complete each other's thoughts and sentences. We knew exactly what the other was thinking at all times. It was quite scary. Of course, I being the hopeless romantic, thought this was the one girl in the world for me. Boy was I wrong. Turns out having being the same age and having the same major and background only means that you will eventually become:
1. Bored with each other.
2. Competition for one another.

Now I embrace any differences that I find in a person as long as it isn't a major conflict in moral, theological, or political realms.

Just my thoughts.

Oooh yeah I never thought about the competition thing. Good point, I could see that happening easily.

I guess my main concern is that I wouldn't want to bore anyone with my ramblings on about something they don't care about, nor would I want to alienate them while I take time to dive into my interests...

 

[waterbear]

How important are shared interests to you when looking for a possible relationship? For example, I know I won't be able to get along with someone who isn't into fantasy/adventure stories because my whole life pretty much revolves around them (I'm an aspiring author). That's not to say this person would have to be into EVERYTHING I like, but that is certainly something that'll be necessary I think.

I'd probably need commonality in certain ideals; I'm very ideal centric. I don't view my career - presently or even potentially - as very important: it probably won't define my life in a meaningful way.

At the same time, what if this person is into something that you've never really taken interest in (I'll use acting as an example)? Would you try to learn more about the subject for the person's sake or let them have their interest while you have yours?

I'd try to learn it.

The reason I ask is because I've always wondered what would happen if I were to fall in love with someone even if we had no shared interests. I mean, I know that opposites attract sometimes, but I'll probably wonder what it would've been like to be with someone who liked what I liked... Whaddaya think?

I'm disinterested in my opposite, but if the person inspires you in some sense for whatever reason, that seems sufficient to me.

 

[invisiblebabe]

I'm disinterested in my opposite, but if the person inspires you in some sense for whatever reason, that seems sufficient to me.
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*insert cheesy game show "You've won the prize!" sound* He's got it! Inspiration... yep, that's key.

 

[ravendta]

*insert cheesy game show "You've won the prize!" sound* He's got it! Inspiration... yep, that's key.

I can hear the Price is Right theme now

 

[invisiblebabe]

"Come on down! You're the next contestant on The Price Is Right!"

 

[zay]

^hehe, that theme is probably going to be stuck in my head now

I think that it would be nice to have some similarities. Some differences would be nice also, so you could try and learn new ideas and hear a different perspective on different things. So, I guess I would like a balance of the two, some similarities and some differences as well. Even if two people like and enjoy the same things, no two people are exactly the same.

And like previously mentioned, being inspired by someone is an awesome thing.

 

[Sketcher]

I don't know which interests she'd have to share. I could date another 3D animator but then I'd run into Baylord's problem, and if I didn't, she'd have to sit through a LOT of geekspeak to hear how my day went.