Share With Us Your Embarrasing Tales!

[Fremdin]

I have so many embarrassing stories that I don't want to share because I'm embarrassed.

 

[b.hopeful]

I was trying to buy something embarrassing in Wal-mart tonight and as I was trying to find the right aisle the floor washer chased me down on aisle and up the next. I finally found what aisle I needed and was trying to pick what I needed out and here comes the floor washing zamboni and chases me away again. I try and go back to the aisle and they're stocking the shelves I need to get to. If it wasn't bad enough to be embarrassed about the product there were obstacles. I didn't realize I was in a sitcom. But all the stuff I got to distract from the one embarrassing thing, I ended up buying. I now have quilting squares. And new toothpaste. But not what I needed, because I'm shy.

When my oldest was 5 I had a nasty yeast infection while pregnant. So I wrote VAGISIL on my list for the store. Well, she was learning to read and she would always practice by reading my shopping list while I shopped. She would bring a notepad and sit in the cart and copy it and we would practice sounding stuff out. It was our routine...so I didn't even think about the vagisil. So we are at the store and she gets to that word and struggles..and I'm like..oh, er, um...that's vagisil. She asks what it is and I pause...it's um, cream...medicine cream...like the cream we put on your boo boos. So it's boo boo cream? Well, it's boo boo cream for hurt "cooties". Your cootie is hurt? Did the baby hurt it? Um, sort of...but it doesn't "hurt"...it just itches. The baby makes your cootie itch? Kind of...um Grace! Would you like to pick out cookies???

Then we are finally at the cootie cream aisle and I pick it up and she says "Itchy Cootie cream....check".

You have no shame when you have kids...you can't.

 

[Fremdin]

When my oldest was 5 I had a nasty yeast infection while pregnant. So I wrote VAGISIL on my list for the store. Well, she was learning to read and she would always practice by reading my shopping list while I shopped. She would bring a notepad and sit in the cart and copy it and we would practice sounding stuff out. It was our routine...so I didn't even think about the vagisil. So we are at the store and she gets to that word and struggles..and I'm like..oh, er, um...that's vagisil. She asks what it is and I pause...it's um, cream...medicine cream...like the cream we put on your boo boos. So it's boo boo cream? Well, it's boo boo cream for hurt "cooties". Your cootie is hurt? Did the baby hurt it? Um, sort of...but it doesn't "hurt"...it just itches. The baby makes your cootie itch? Kind of...um Grace! Would you like to pick out cookies???

Then we are finally at the cootie cream aisle and I pick it up and she says "Itchy Cootie cream....check".

You have no shame when you have kids...you can't.

LOL, that's so funny!

 

[b.hopeful]

It's funny....NOW....lol....not so funny THEN. She's a teenager now...so I have plenty of opportunities to embarrass her....payback!

 

[Fremdin]

It's funny....NOW....lol....not so funny THEN. She's a teenager now...so I have plenty of opportunities to embarrass her....payback!

I understand that be best part of being a parent is embarrassing your children.

 

[Fremdin]

I have another story. One time I was talking to a guy in a band after a show of his and he was very handsome, very smart, in a band and was funny. He told a joke and I laughed and a snot bubble came out of my nose. Sometimes you just wish you could make yourself burst into flames, because that would really be the only thing to distract from the fact that a bazooka joe bubble of snot just came out of your nose in front of a handsome talented musician. I can picture the headline: "Local woman explodes into ball of fire after blowing booger at musical adonis"

 

[b.hopeful]

I have another story. One time I was talking to a guy in a band after a show of his and he was very handsome, very smart, in a band and was funny. He told a joke and I laughed and a snot bubble came out of my nose. Sometimes you just wish you could make yourself burst into flames, because that would really be the only thing to distract from the fact that a bazooka joe bubble of snot just came out of your nose in front of a handsome talented musician. I can picture the headline: "Local woman explodes into ball of fire after blowing booger at musical adonis"

Ok...I would be mortified! I snorted when I laughed the other day with my step brothers and suddenly had a "Jenny" moment...."Dear God, make me a bird, so I can fly far far away from here".....I knew I'd never live that snort down...and snot bubble??? well, they would still be calling me every day to tease me!

 

[AllForJesus]

 

[MacFall]

Theme music for this thread:

YouTube - -Yakety Sax- Music

 

[jameseb]

What are you laughing at? Let's here your story, sparky!

 

[trentlogain2]

my most embarrasing tale? almost getting kidnapped and God only knows what else at a black sabbath concert.

what i believe in i cannot see
these things i say on my knees
feeling filled within my faith
wisdom of God's word in my brain
something in my head
that Jesus Christ once said

those who believe
He claims His own
to walk the streets made of gold
before His throne

wash away the sin of my lustful heart
so that i never feel the dust of dark
fill my dreams so that i will know
which way it is You want me to go

i have no idea what i am doing
they can say that i am wrong
i know that i am a loser
im just singing a new song

peace in the world and oh how it soured
now my steps are marked with liars
waiting and willing Your work to be done
with my eyes looking up for You to come

 

[radhead]

When I was about 15 I was riding my bicycle past my friends' house and didn't think they were home. I was coming right up to the driveway when I heard them call my name. They were standing there with another friend and someone else. I slammed my bicycle right into their mailbox and knocked it down, as they were all walking down towards the street to me. Real smooth, I was.

 

[Chicken Little]

Ok way back when I was a kid in highschool I had pimples and my dad being a natural foods sort of guy... but a way over the top .. "if a little is good a lot more is better " kind of guy .. well he had read that if you take sulpher it would stop pimples.

What he and the literature didnt' tell you was that it makes you fart.. and your farts smell just like rotten eggs and so my dad loaded me down with honey and sulfur concoction and off I went to high school . I was in track team at the time.... so right during the jumping jacks at warm up I got an attack of gas that just about level the girls tract team .. every time I made a jump or leap or ran the fumes just brought tears to your eyes..

so the next morning my dad gets my honey and sulfur ready and I told him what happend and said " thanks anyway dad! but I would rather have pimples"
so the moral is
so kids there is way worse things than pimples!!

I'm not a single ..but just had to share as it should make most of you feel better about your face or your gas..

 

[IreneAdler]

I must be really hard to phase long term because I don't remember. I'm sure I've had them. I am well aware of the feeling of a deep purple/red blush coming across my face... I just can't remember why. (maybe I forget as sort of a self protection thing, lol)