Did your spouses sexual past affect you, your relationship with them or how you saw them in any way before getting married? Is it something that could have influenced spending your life with them?
-
Starting today August 7th, 2024, in order to post in the Married Couples, Courting Couples, or Singles forums, you will not be allowed to post if you have your Marital status designated as private. Announcements will be made in the respective forums as well but please note that if yours is currently listed as Private, you will need to submit a ticket in the Support Area to have yours changed.
Sexual Past
- Thread starter LDABAM
- Start date
Audiomechanic
^ My Name | v Things I say
- Dec 16, 2005
- 1,977
- 103
- 42
- Faith
- Baptist
- Marital Status
- Married
- Politics
- US-Republican
Not me, but then again, my wife was a virgin when we married. I was not.
I did date a girl a few years ago who had an extensive sexual past that effected me deeply (she was number 3 for me, i was number 16 for her). I never got over it and needless to say, we're not still together
I did date a girl a few years ago who had an extensive sexual past that effected me deeply (she was number 3 for me, i was number 16 for her). I never got over it and needless to say, we're not still together
Upvote
0
You're number is "better" than hers but how are you any better when you both sinned in past? Do you know what I mean?
Upvote
0
My husbands number bothers me. I found a list of names and what was done with who. It bothered me big time. I try not to let it get to me too much because it is his past and he is not the same person as he was when he made the list. Neither of us were virgins when we married but we have rededicated our lives to Christ. I really truly wish we were virgins when had met.
Upvote
0
Forgive and forget. Not that it is easy to do. 
My wife had more history than I did. It wasn't even close to being awful, but its still tough not to think about.
My wife had more history than I did. It wasn't even close to being awful, but its still tough not to think about.
Upvote
0
No it didn't effect me. I knew he wasn't someone that played the field, and I honestly have never asked him about it in the 25 years we have been married. Did we speak generally? Sure.
I married the person whom he was at that point. Stayed married to the person he was from then on.
I never felt led to know all the juicy details, and go into too much. So I didn't.
Upvote
0
Audiomechanic
^ My Name | v Things I say
- Dec 16, 2005
- 1,977
- 103
- 42
- Faith
- Baptist
- Marital Status
- Married
- Politics
- US-Republican
I've already matured past that mindset, so yes, I do know what you mean. You are preaching to the choir.
Upvote
0
Darkhorse
just horsing around
- Aug 10, 2005
- 10,078
- 4,001
- Country
- United States
- Gender
- Male
- Faith
- Presbyterian
- Marital Status
- Married
- Politics
- US-Republican
Neither my wife nor I were virgins when we met. It wasn't a problem for either of us.
In fact, one of her former partners dropped by our apartment to see her. They talked at the door while I did dishes in the kitchen. No big deal.
We are so happy together, and former relationships don't come anywhere close to what we have with each other. It's really not an issue.
In fact, one of her former partners dropped by our apartment to see her. They talked at the door while I did dishes in the kitchen. No big deal.
We are so happy together, and former relationships don't come anywhere close to what we have with each other. It's really not an issue.
Upvote
0
ValleyGal
Well-Known Member
- Dec 19, 2012
- 5,775
- 1,823
- Country
- Canada
- Gender
- Female
- Faith
- Anabaptist
- Marital Status
- Divorced
Of my husband and I, I had a more extensive sexual history than he did, although I was also not a practicing Christian for a lot of it. My past does not bother him, and his does not bother me. The reason is because we recognize that one of us is not better than the other (mutual humility) and we both have some regrets over past relationships (repentance).
I do know a gal whose husband had sex with one previous girlfriend. She has a hard time with his sexual past only because she had remained a virgin until their wedding night, and she felt a little gyped because she waited but her husband didn't.
I do know a gal whose husband had sex with one previous girlfriend. She has a hard time with his sexual past only because she had remained a virgin until their wedding night, and she felt a little gyped because she waited but her husband didn't.
Upvote
0
ProudMomxmany
slightly insane mom of many
Neither one of us were virgins when we married (and we married very young). It didn't matter then and it doesn't matter now. The funny thing is its something that has NEVER been brought up in the 33 years we've been together.
Upvote
0
Inkachu
Bursting with fruit flavor!
- Jan 31, 2008
- 35,357
- 4,220
- Gender
- Female
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- Married
- Politics
- US-Others
I've never asked my husband for details about his sexual past, nor has he about mine. I know he was a naughty boy and lived a godless lifestyle for a time; that's all I need to know. I know he never had any kids, no STD's, etc. That's all I need to know.
Likewise, he knows similar "general" details about my past.
People who delve into the details of their spouse's past are asking for incredible amounts of trouble in the form of jealousy, insecurity, guilt, etc.
Leave the past where it is.
Likewise, he knows similar "general" details about my past.
People who delve into the details of their spouse's past are asking for incredible amounts of trouble in the form of jealousy, insecurity, guilt, etc.
Leave the past where it is.
Upvote
0
MountainBluebird
Regular Member
My husband's past mistakes affected me, and I struggled with feelings of jealousy. I wasn't very mature at the time, and neither was my husband. Some of the jealousy could have been avoided if we handled things a little differently.
Upvote
0
Boidae
Senior Veteran
- Aug 18, 2010
- 4,920
- 420
- Country
- United States
- Gender
- Male
- Faith
- Lutheran
- Marital Status
- Divorced
- Politics
- US-Others
No hers didn't bother me and mine doesn't bother her.
Just like Darkhorse's response, she is still friends with the guy she was with before me and we even go over to his home and watch wrestling PPV with him and his fiance. She has gone over there without me and it doesn't bother me.
What's in the past is in the past and in the past is where it stays.
I will say that I have apologized to her for my past and that I wished that things could have been different.
Just like Darkhorse's response, she is still friends with the guy she was with before me and we even go over to his home and watch wrestling PPV with him and his fiance. She has gone over there without me and it doesn't bother me.
What's in the past is in the past and in the past is where it stays.
I will say that I have apologized to her for my past and that I wished that things could have been different.
Upvote
0
Inkachu
Bursting with fruit flavor!
- Jan 31, 2008
- 35,357
- 4,220
- Gender
- Female
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- Married
- Politics
- US-Others
I trust my husband won't ever cheat on me, but that doesn't mean I'm OK with him hanging out at strip clubs, either.
It's not always about trust. Sometimes it's about being wise.
It's not always about trust. Sometimes it's about being wise.
Upvote
0
ParentofChildren
Wanderer
It should not. Assuming your both Christians, your partner knows better, and has confessed all sin is washed away. I hate the way people equate virginity as an idol.
Upvote
0
- Jun 3, 2007
- 38,443
- 1,566
- Faith
- Methodist
- Marital Status
- Politics
- US-Others
Mod Hat
Thread has been moved to Questions by Singles About Marriage. A few posts were deleted. Please remember posts in this forum must be in response to the OP.
Thread has been moved to Questions by Singles About Marriage. A few posts were deleted. Please remember posts in this forum must be in response to the OP.
Upvote
0
I don't like how people say wanting to marry a virgin is like idolatry either. The Bible presents virginity as if it was something desirable in a spouse. A girl married off as a virgin could face the death penalty in the Old Testament if she wasn't one.
Upvote
0
Purge187
Former Prodigal.
- May 22, 2011
- 1,770
- 276
- 46
- Gender
- Male
- Faith
- Baptist
- Marital Status
- Single
- Politics
- US-Constitution
I'm still a V, so marrying a woman who had some "experience" wouldn't bother me. At least the honeymoon wouldn't be as awkward.
Even so, I do have limits. I don't think I could marry a porn star, even if she accepted Christ and repented.
Even so, I do have limits. I don't think I could marry a porn star, even if she accepted Christ and repented.
Upvote
0
Hetta
I'll find my way home
- Jun 21, 2012
- 16,925
- 4,875
- Country
- France
- Gender
- Female
- Faith
- Christian Seeker
- Marital Status
- Married
I think you can probably find a girl who isn't a porn star to marry.I'm still a V, so marrying a woman who had some "experience" wouldn't bother me. At least the honeymoon wouldn't be as awkward.
Even so, I do have limits. I don't think I could marry a porn star, even if she accepted Christ and repented.
I wouldn't worry so much about the wedding night. So much is instinct, and the rest is kindness and patience. You will be okay, whether she is a virgin or not.
Upvote
0
Similar threads
