Sexual Compatibility

[redblue22]

Many people tell me that they want to know if they are sexually compatible before getting married.

What do you think of couples desire to know if they are sexually compatible?

What does sexual compatibility mean to you?

As far as sexual compatibility, what do you yourself need to know before getting married?

 

[Pologie]

Talk! Express yourself.

 

[chuck77]

I like Pizza.

 

[gods prophetess]

hi i was married 3 times and now divorced but not all couples are compatible with everything ok as long as you have christ in your marriage and you both pray everything will work out just fine be encouraged keep the faith praying for you daily yours in christ prophetess cherrie

 

[girlsgotPunk]

What do you think of couples desire to know if they are sexually compatible?
It's a view point that would save a lot of frustration later on should their sexual preferences clash. Compatibility as a couple should take into account every aspect of the individual; you both have to be aware of the other, not necessarily to specific details but enough that you know you'll be able to live without frustration. Sexual compatibility is not a priority, but it is still part of the suitability of someone as a marriage partner.

What does sexual compatibility mean to you?
Being able to discuss aspects of your sexuality, that a highly sexed individual is not going into marriage with someone whose sex drive is low/non-existent. Drifting over to the marriage forums you can see that as small a part as sex plays it can become a big issue when two individuals are at completely different ends of the sexual spectrum. Sexual drivers can fluctuate over time but this is something that can be worked on over time, going into marriage and not seeing eye to eye on sexual matters can be incredibly frustrating and put a strain on an otherwise adequate relationship.

As far as sexual compatibility, what do you yourself need to know before getting married?

I just need to know the person i'm going to marry is able to discuss sexual matters like a mature human being, not shying away from the subject because you shouldn't talk about such things prior to marriage. Just open communication about the strength of their desires in comparison to my own, their expectations from married sex life.

It's the same as every other aspect of compatibility; open and honest communication. People overlook a lot of small compatibility issues in favour of the bigger picture, which is good providing they're aware of the importance of those small issues in their life. For some people sexual actions help glue a relationship together, developing a relationship beyond deep friendship with a lusty aspect.

 

[Going Merry]

Sexual compatibility...
Doesn't have to be practiced.
It can be discussed verbally.
I guess when people say compatibility it is the -things- they are into?
Or maybe it is how much they are willing to participate in it itself?
In either case sex is for marriage, between two people who made a vow to God.

 

[Rhamiel]

Sexual compatibility...
Doesn't have to be practiced.
It can be discussed verbally.
I guess when people say compatibility it is the -things- they are into?
Or maybe it is how much they are willing to participate in it itself?
In either case sex is for marriage, between two people who made a vow to God.

very good point, you can be chaste and still talk about stuff like adults

 

[Niels]

Communication is key. Most of these things can be determined through conversation, and should be discussed long before tying the knot.

 

[Blank123]

i think the whole "you need to know if you're sexually compatible!!!" line of thought is really just an excuse for two people who, providing they are consenting adults, don't really need an excuse to jump into bed together before marriage. It justifies the action. Which is odd to me considering the day and age in which we live where premarital sex no longer needs defending.

All I really need to know before marriage is if he is mature and willing and able to communicate. If issues should arise in the bedroom after marriage, then we should be able to work things out and talk things out like two mature adults.

 

[anewday]

I really need to know before marriage is if he is mature and willing and able to communicate. If issues should arise in the bedroom after marriage, then we should be able to work things out and talk things out like two mature adults.

 

[SnowyMacie]

Well, nouns, verbs, the occasional adjective and adverb.

 

[HeKnowsMyName]

I think if you aren't compatible sexually, you can teach the other person what you like. Being married is about learning everything you can about the other person and doing what you can to make the marriage the best it can be.

 

[Rob_Skellington]

Many people tell me that they want to know if they are sexually compatible before getting married.

What do you think of couples desire to know if they are sexually compatible?

When I hear that kind of thing, I typically understand it as, "I want to have sex."

What does sexual compatibility mean to you?

As far as sexual compatibility, what do you yourself need to know before getting married?

As far as sexual compatibility, I think it's important. However, I also think God will work it out with a couple who chooses to wait for one another. Regardless of the all the debate over definitions about "fornication" and whether God prohibits premarital sex or not, I think God will honor a couple that chooses to honor Him by waiting.

For those who don't wait, I think God will still honor them as long they remain committed to one another for life. I'm personally committed to premarital abstinence, but that doesn't mean me and my fiancee can't responsibly discuss sex in a mature way. I think it helps to know what excites your prospective partner (though I would probably have that conversation at some point just shortly before the wedding).

Those who protest by saying "that's waiting too long to discuss sexual compatibility" might be placing too much of an emphasis on sex. I definitely plan on having sex when I get married, and from what I've heard about it, I plan on having it often. However, it's still just "icing on the cake" of marriage. By that, I mean it's not the capstone of a relationship, so if you're less sexually compatible with your spouse than you would like, it shouldn't ruin the relationship.

Counseling, prayer, compromise, and of course--having sex once I'm married--should help me and my wife to figure things out and arrive at a reasonable compatibility. I don't love my wife for the sexual pleasure she gives me. There are so many more reasons to love her than that. Love is a choice, displayed by action, and resulting in emotions. Regardless of our sexual compatibility, true love ultimately rests on our choice to love one another (which is achievable in Christ).

 

[Theofane]

Is it possible to gauge sexual compability with a significant other without actually doing the deed? This is one of those moral Catch-22's. Having premarital sex to "test-drive" a potential spouse between the sheets can provide valuable information but is a sexual sin.

If you have sex with someone who is not your spouse and discover a problem in the bedroom, you don't marry that person because a husband & wife should be able to have great sex. But if you are sexually compatible with that person, you can marry them-- yes?

How many marriages fall apart because the man and the woman don't realize they're sexually incompatible until their wedding night?

 

[MrMoe]

if they are female then they are sexually compatible with me

 

[leothelioness]

What do you think of couples desire to know if they are sexually compatible?

I think it's normal.

What does sexual compatibility mean to you?

Being on the same page about likes, dislikes, drive, etc.

As far as sexual compatibility, what do you yourself need to know before getting married?

Everything.

 

[Rob_Skellington]

How many marriages fall apart because the man and the woman don't realize they're sexually incompatible until their wedding night?

From what I've been told by divorcees and married couples, those marriages didn't fall apart due to sexual incompatibility. They fell apart because the couple placed too much of an emphasis on sex.

 

[Theofane]

Has anyone on this thread had premarital relations? I have. It's not something I'm proud of, but I feel that because I won't die a virgin, it's a good thing. I feel like sex is something I don't want to miss out on, since it's one of the more pleasurable experiences life has to offer. I'm glad I had those experiences, but not so glad I sinned. I'm not very holy.

 

[leothelioness]

Has anyone on this thread had premarital relations? I have. It's not something I'm proud of, but I feel that because I won't die a virgin, it's a good thing. I feel like sex is something I don't want to miss out on, since it's one of the more pleasurable experiences life has to offer. I'm glad I had those experiences, but not so glad I sinned. I'm not very holy.

I'm sure most of us haven't.

 

[Theofane]

I didn't think so.