Sex

[butterfly8]

Hi eveyone:
This topic might be kinda well.. But I have this problem.
When it comes to having sex with my husband, I cant seem to relax. Only time I can enjoy it is when I drink a few beers to loosen up. We have tried
talking about it, but I just cant seem to relax and get comfortable. We have
3 beautiful children together. I need some advice....... Badly. It has been this way for a long time now. Is it bad to have to drink a little to loosen up?

If anyone could give me some advice I would appreciate it.

Thanks and God Bless

 

[Momzilla]

Hey Butterfly...
I'm sorry you're having this problem. The first thing to do is try to identify what's going on in your head. If you weren't always this way, try to think back to when you started being unable to relax. Was it after the kids? Are you afraid they'll wake up while you and your husband are ... busy? Has your body changed/are you unhappy with it? With three kids, you must be very busy, especially if you have a paid job on top of that--do you find it difficult to let go of the stresses of the day?

These are just some things to think about. I don't think having a beer is necessarily a bad thing, but "I need to have a beer so I can have sex" indicates there's a problem. Try to pinpoint what's going on, then talk to your husband about how to work around it.

Good luck!

 

[Iddie4him]

Boy, This is a tough one butterfly.....
It sounds almost to me like you should talk to a professional about this. I don't think that it's unhealthy to have a beer or two...But, To be able to relax so you and your hubby can have marital relations does seem a bit unhealthy to me. Have you thought about consulting a therapist for both of you to discuss this inability to relax ?? It might be wise to do so. I pray that you and your hubby can find a new line of communication to work thru this situation.

 

[seebs]

A professional might not be a bad thing.

Is it bad? Well, it's probably not sinful, but it sounds inconvenient. It may be that you'd benefit from trying to find out what's going on, to maybe confront it and work through it.

 

[butterfly8]

Thank you so much for the support!!

God Bless

 

[koppee1]

Maybe something in the past? Stuff you were taught? Could be you were taught that sex is wrong when you were younger? I think things like that would/might affect someone later on. But if you yourself don't know why you feel like that, then I guess a counselor or a pro could help you out.

Errr, my mom (a doctor) tells me too much alchohol is bad for you... ;p so in your case....too much sex could be err....never mind. Hope everything works out for you!

 

[hisbloodformysins]

It seems that a lot of women have this problem, myself included. Why? I don't know, though I feel it's unfair in a way, not that it's men's fault, but why is sex such a problem for more women than men? Maybe because we feel we have to be Mrs. America, or the fact that it happens so fast for men, and sooooo slow for women. I think if I was thinner, I would be able to relax more myself if you want to know the truth. It's just not that easy to get over. When women are thin, they look good, but when they get fat (most people aren't supermodel thin) than we are gross looking. Whereas when men get fat, they just have a bigger belly, nothing else seems to change much. . So maybe it's self consciencness?