Heres some thoughts of mine concerning your situation :
1. You've been given a sexual nature by the Creator and just because a person goes thru a divorce, looses both arms and legs , turns 60 , etc... it always remains. It is encumbant upon us however, to treat this nature of sexuality in a responsible manner which means lust-control , doing all you can to avoid certain situations where it could be easily fueled like provocative TV shows and movies , constantly being filled with the H.S. for power to overcome and to live your life in a pleasing Godly way. Sadly because you are not married any longer, you cannot use your sexuality in order to show love, appreciation , commitment to someone .... but you can show those things in other effective ways. Remembver, just because we've been given a sexual nature and just because our culture is supercharged being sexually illicit , we can still govern our actions and even thoughts according to scripture. Is it difficult for someone whos onece enjoyed a sex life being married ? Yes, it is...but its good to reme3mber that the sexual nature is just one of your natures given you and its meant for a very narrow specific purpose . That is in the context of marriage to be honoring to yourself, others, and most of all, your loving Creator.
2. When you look at this 18 year old sexy Christian Gal, see if you can defuse the lust situation by substituting something in its place...like.... praying for her Christian life, asking God to show her what he wants her to do for a career and spiritual service to him, that she is someones precious daughter , that you have the responsibility to encourage her if given the chance. All of this will help defuse her sexual appeal to you and get your thoughts inline.
3. If you are going thru times of intense struggle when you are in this girls presence, then, put some distance between you and her . Either choose to see her half as much and/or purposely avoid her when you are both in the same general location . No one has to know why you are doing this and chances are, no one will even catch on to it. But you will gain strength by being in control of the situation.
4. Don't be ashamed that you are attracted to this 18 year old who is some 36 years your junior because at 18 she is physically mature and eye catching to ANY typical Male . I would ask God to give you the ability to appreciate her outward beauty while you refocus on whatever is going on around you at the moment . This way, you will have a very limited focus on her physically.
5. Lastly, use this time of being alone without being in a relationship , to grow in your walk with Christ. Serve him more now that you have the time. Get into lots of Christian Groups so you get good fellowship. Be on the lookout for the chance to store up treasure in heaven since you've got the availability. Consider volunteering in para-church Ministry like Hospice or Soup Kitchen, etc....
6. Finally, don't dwell on the sexual . Dwell on other things that make up your life . Resign to the fact that the sexual was meant by God to be expressed only in marriage where the environment is a completely trusted and safe one , and its not meant to be used casually as our Culture brainwashes us with. Sexuality is a very sacred and honorable thing ..so, do all you can to maintain that Godly ideology and don't become like the Heathen who give God lip service but whos lifestyles are far from Gods approval.
Regards. David.
David,I am in a similar situation. In the U.S. Navy,I was trained as a Clinical Laboratory Scientist (CLS). The job I have now .In the Navy,98% of the lab personnel were men,no lust problem there! But,in the civilan world, abot 98% of the lab personnel are women. In a hospital, most of the nurses are women .In the lab that in work in now ,most of the employees are women! Out of the 50 CLS', ,that are at my current place of work, only
two are men, myself included. Therefore,I am seeing women
all of the time.
Sometimes,I feel like a chicken-hawk that is trapped in a barn full of chicken coops.
But,when I am doing my plays for my church ,and secular plays,I do not have the time to be obsessed with women. I am subconciously and consciously thinking about my blocking(where I need to be at on stage at a certain time),my lines,and my lyrics(if I am singing).
I usually lose weight when I am performing because I am thinking about my character and not thinking about food.
But,I did stopped going to massage parlors,even though I crave the touch of a woman now and then. I
used to think that the only way that I can get a woman to touch me is to go to a massage parlour. That is a lie!
At some Meet-Up groups(Dayhiker may know some,also) these women touch me
for free! These women are not hookers,and I do not have to pay them to touch me. At these meet ups we massage each other .Sexual touching is not allowed, nor is it encouraged. We only say
positive things to each other. One woman told me,"I bet you heat is as soft as your silk shirt!" Another woman told me,"S.....you are a......
gift!" Now,if I had been told positive things like that by women when I was in my 20's,I would have had a positive attitude ,and would have attracted women who were my type.
Sadly to say,in
my experiences,women who are not believers,are more loving towards me than Christian women are. I see more kindness,more gentleness, more affection,more,
acceptance,and more "JESUS" in non-christian single women,than I do in Christian single women. It is
supposed to be the other way around. Especially if I am to be......
equally yoked!
