Sex/boyfriend advice.

[fiveinjuly]

If you are a Christian and serious about waiting until marriage to have sex again move out and avoid the temptation until you are married.

I totally agree with this. You might think that you are strong enough to handle living with him without having relations, but when the flesh starts to ache, I think that it is a different story. I personalyy have not been in this situation, I don't even know what it is to have a sexual relationship, but I feel that by not ever being in this situation I can effectively minister because I know what it is like to be celibate and not giving into temptation, which is hard sometimes.

I wouldn't rush into marriage, but I would let him know that you have turned your life around, and that you aren't going back to the way that you wnce were, which means that you are going to change. Tell him that you'll still love him, but that you aren't going to be the same that you once were, and that you pray that he will accept your decision to change your life.

 

[hugnluvable]

Since I joined CFs I have posted and discussed this matter to death on here. So many people have so many different opinions and views and its really hard to come to at least some conclusion about it all. The best way I put it was in another post so forgive me if some people have heard it all before....

The main advice that I want to give you is always be prepared to be challenged by the Lord. And be prepared to follow the Lord whatever situation.

Ask yourself is this guy going to respect your actions following Christ - like not having sex before marriage etc? Does he respect your beliefs? Does he want you to be happy? Does he love you? If he really does love you then he's prepared to compromise for you and God. Don't make your relationship some kind of mission either. Pray like mad for opportunities to talk to him about Jesus. PRAY PRAY PRAY! God really does work wonders when you ask him to!

But also remember, if he ever decides to give himself to God then it should be IN HIS OWN TIME AND WAY! Not to make you happy! Have patience, keep on praying and soon things will be confirmed.

As for me when I was at uni....I spoke to my minister and he introduced me to a mentor (one of the church elders). We spoke and she advised me to be very careful with whatever I do in the relationship and to make sure that my eyes were fully fixed on God no matter what happened. NEVER COMPROMISE WHAT GOD WANTS FOR YOU for what your boyfriend wants! NEVER!

Although it was hard (soooooooo hard) God blessed me with an amazing fellowship with other Christians who I can talk about it - most think I'm quite brave (!)

Let God lead the relationship, if its meant to be or not to be - God will show you that path.

Remember that God is blessing and touching the relationship through you - keep praying and sharing God's love with him. I pray that he finds God in his own and unique way - and that God gives you all the strength to help him through it.

I hope this all helps.... may God bless you through this challenging time whatever happens

Love, hugs and prayers
Erica
xxx

 

[PACSUN]

need everyone's advice. I have recently become a Christian. I live with my boyfriend of 3.5 years. Up until now we've had a sexual relationship because before I was a Christian I didn't consider it wrong to have premarital sex. Now that I've become a Christian I feel I must stop this, but I'm nervous about telling my boyfriend this. He knows I've become a Christian but I haven't brought this up. Part of the problem is that he'll know I don't have any reason to end our sexual relationship other than becoming a Christian..which is fine for me but he is an atheist and obviously won't see the need to end it. I'm not saying breaking up or moving out, just stopping having sex. And while I know he wouldn't break up with me over this, I'm afraid how it will affect us. I mean we've been having sex almost our whole relationship, so this will be very strange. Anyone have any advice on how to bring this up to him? Has anyone gone through this themselves? I'm just wondering how to soften the blow. Thanks! I could use everyone's prayers to give me strength to tell him, please!

You know... I was in a somewhat similar situation with my ex. I was starting to become a Christian, and I just honestly wasn't interested in having sex with him anymore... Every time it would happen, I would feel convicted, and just didn't want to disobey God any longer than I had already been doing. I brought it up to him and he wasn't very fond of it, so I said, "Why don't we atleast just try this? We don't even know how it will be not having sex." That whole idea was shot WAY down into the ground - But then again... I think that he was in it a bit TOO much for the sex. (I am not sure about that, but he wouldn't communicate with me about anything) We had been together for 2 1/2 years of the 3 year relationship when that happened, so I thought he'd understand. I thought he'd atleast take it into consideration. It then turned into a matter of how he could manipulate me into having sex with him... Once, he told me "Krista, guys have needs..." while we were up on Boston together... I was like, "WHAT!?!" Needless to say, we're no longer together - That was just one of the reasons to end the relationship (along with the whole not communicating thing), and we had just grown apart. We wanted different things out of life...

I hope what I've told you does not happen with you and your boyfriend. Maybe it can help with figuring out a way to talk with him about it and avoid breaking up. Good luck with all of this...

:: Krista ::

 

[BlessedVegan]

Well everybody, thanks for all the advice...just to update you we did break up. This is what sparked it, but as he said, he's gone without sex for long periods in his life so this wasn't really what was bothering him. He didn't want to be with a Christian because he feels like I'd start preaching to him and trying to convert him. I told him that I would be praying for him and trying to set a good example with my behaviour, but that I knew preaching wasn't the way to go with him. I hadn't asked him to change a single thing but the sex issue, but he didn't believe me. There were lots of other problems of course this just brought them all up. So we've split up. We're still living together but I'm in the guest suite until I can move back home to SC. I'll be moving in mid Jan. Anyway it's been tough but I apperciate everyone's support!

 

[PACSUN]

I'm sorry it didn't turn out the way you wanted - That's what happened with my ex and myself. Luckily we didn't live together, or in the same state. (He was in TN, I was here in GA). I think it's sad that such a long relationship has to end, but sometimes, that's what God wants for our lives so His will can be done! I'm proud of you for sticking with it, and not changing because he didn't want to be with you. If you need anything, feel free to PM me if you'd like.

:: Krista ::