Sex Before Marriage

[JarrodlovesGod]

What is everybodys stand on sex before marriage.
Do oyu thinks its ok to have oral sex before marriage?

 

[Spike~]

As long as both parties are consenting and at least 15, I have no problem with it. Myself, I believe sex isn't just for married couple. I believe that there nothing wrong with having sex with someone you love before marriage.

 

[Captain_Scott]

Well buddy, your a christian, so lets go to what Gods Word says

Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and the sexually immoral" (Hebrews 13:4)

Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge" (Hebrews 13:4)

"I made a covenant with my eyes not to look with lust upon a girl. I know full well that the Almighty God sends calamity on those who do" (Job 31:1-3)

"You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matthew 5:28)

Gods word tells us that sex is for marraige and marriage only. Since God is the Source and moral authority of all things i would suggest we listen to Him.

 

[Vylo]

I personally feel that the 2 people should have a strong commitment to each other, but not necessarily going so far as having to be married first.

 

[jon1101]

Personally, I don't intend to have sex until I'm married. This decision comes largely from my upbringing, but I think it's also pragmatic. Still, I try not to let this personal conviction be any sort of barrier between me and friends who don't believe the same way. I think it's sad when more conservative people close down communication with others because of personal ethical issues like this and when being easily offended is thought to be a sign of spiritual maturity.

-Jon

 

[joebudda]

Jarrod. If you do experiment, be safe. The last thing you want now is to worry about is a unexpected child.

My advice: focus on schooling, get a degree and a good paying job. Then you will be able to have your pick of the litter.

 

[artofwar]

Depends if you are looking from a Christian or non christian point of view, which is it?

 

[AdJesumPerMariam]

No, it's not OK.
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[seebs]

No idea. The Bible never really distinguishes between different types of sexual activity, but there's a lot of evidence that people only considered intercourse to be "sex". The question is not answered directly; you'll need to infer.

 

[flicka]

If you have to ask it's not ok.

 

[JarrodlovesGod]

Depends if you are looking from a Christian or non christian point of view, which is it?

Just your point of view,
What do YOU think

 

[Sopharos]

Somewhat un-Christian view.

My views on Sex.

1. Sex is fun.
2. Safe sex is a healthy social activity.
3. Sex can have consequences.
4. There are many simple measures which can used to prevent such consequences.
5. Sex is strictly of a physical nature.

Therefore, my views on Sex before Marriage

1. Why should married couples have all the fun?
2. Therefore, it should be encouraged, whether the participants are married or not.
3. Sadly, some young people are negligant of these consequences. Barring them from doing it will only push the practice underground. Education is the only way.
4. Which is why sex can be safe and fun.
5. And love is of an emotional nature, therefore sex and love are independent of each other. What we do with our bodies does not matter, only that we love each other is what counts. Love can enhance sex, but sex does not neccessarily enhance love. Since the modern definition of marriage is between two adults who love each other, sex is part of marriage, but is not the core component of marriage.

 

[transientlife]

Somewhat un-Christian view.

My views on Sex.

1. Sex is fun.

Yes, yes it is. Why else would people focus on it so much?

2. Safe sex is a healthy social activity.

I can see that.

3. Sex can have consequences.

Absolutely. Something everyone should know.

4. There are many simple measures which can used to prevent such consequences.

For the most part, yes.

5. Sex is strictly of a physical nature.

Very true. Often misinterpreted, but true.

Therefore, my views on Sex before Marriage

1. Why should married couples have all the fun?
2. Therefore, it should be encouraged, whether the participants are married or not.

I agree, but I also disagree. I think sex within marriage/committed relationship is better due to the fact that usually it isn't just sex at that point, but a "bonding" experience.

3. Sadly, some young people are negligant of these consequences. Barring them from doing it will only push the practice underground. Education is the only way.

Education, yes, absolutely. It's detrimental to them to assume if we don't educate them, they won't do anything. I doubt you could ever barr them from having sex...nearly if not completely impossible.

4. Which is why sex can be safe and fun.

Yep.

5. And love is of an emotional nature, therefore sex and love are independent of each other.

Very true observation.

What we do with our bodies does not matter, only that we love each other is what counts.

Ok. My opinion is that our hearts and bodies should be in sync when it comes to that. (though in retropsect I'm guilty of such in my past, thankfully it's a mistake made in my past )

Love can enhance sex, but sex does not neccessarily enhance love.

A lot of misled (esp. teen girls) fail to realize this.

Since the modern definition of marriage is between two adults who love each other, sex is part of marriage, but is not the core component of marriage.

And if it does become such - that marriage is in trouble!

 

[transientlife]

As far as the OP...
Upbringing gives me the default answer of "no, it's not ok".
Unfortunately, I fell victim to circumstance and curiosity. I am at least glad I waited till I was out of school and on my own to fall. But I fell nonetheless and at times I do regret it, but I'm thankful as well because I've learned tremendously from it.
It's one of the demons I'm working with, but I'm hoping the guy I'm with now is the one I will marry.
If I would happen to not marry him, I would then be celibate till marriage.

 

[Sopharos]

I agree, but I also disagree. I think sex within marriage/committed relationship is better due to the fact that usually it isn't just sex at that point, but a "bonding" experience.

Yes, like I said, love can enhance sex. But I do not believe casual sex by itself can inhibit that bonding experience when it comes to the "relationship" sex.

Ok. My opinion is that our hearts and bodies should be in sync when it comes to that. (though in retropsect I'm guilty of such in my past, thankfully it's a mistake made in my past )

Heart is heart, body is body. What one does does not neccessary affect the other. When heart and body align, it certainly enhance the whole experience, but I do not believe there is harm done when then don't align.

And if it does become such - that marriage is in trouble!

That kind of marriage usually do not last anyway. Sexual desires can burn out very quickly, but emotional passion goes on and on. Those kind of people shouldn't get married in the first place.

 

[Rev. Smith]

Well buddy, your a christian, so lets go to what Gods Word says

Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and the sexually immoral" (Hebrews 13:4)

Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge" (Hebrews 13:4)

"I made a covenant with my eyes not to look with lust upon a girl. I know full well that the Almighty God sends calamity on those who do" (Job 31:1-3)

"You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matthew 5:28)

Gods word tells us that sex is for marraige and marriage only. Since God is the Source and moral authority of all things i would suggest we listen to Him.

I'm not sure that any of this constitutes a finding that all sexual activity outside of marriage is sinful (this puts me in a weird position, since I happen to agree with my church's teaching that it is - but)

Hebrews 13 seems to be directed at adultery, if we are married we must honor the vow, and if we are unmarried we may not participate in adultery by knowing a married person, thereby honoring marriage. Nothing here seems to address the obligations of two unmarried persons.

The passages of Job and Matthew decry lust, but is all sexual contact "lust"? We are taught, at least, that lust is carnal desire for the sake of sex alone, is love outside of marriage impossable? I don't think that the OT prophets saw it that way, Lot was not condemned for incest, the Levite Law deals with sex outside of marriage by fines and restitution to the father of the girl (there seems to be no penalty prescribed if the girl was not a virgin).

As I said, I agree that sex should be kept for marriage, we are taught to "seek first the kingdom of God", but the authority that any form of sexuality by the single is a grave sin seems thin.

 

[seebs]

Yes, like I said, love can enhance sex. But I do not believe casual sex by itself can inhibit that bonding experience when it comes to the "relationship" sex.

I think it can. Maybe not for all people, but for at least some people, it "wears the special off". Which is bad.

 

[seebs]

As I said, I agree that sex should be kept for marriage, we are taught to "seek first the kingdom of God", but the authority that any form of sexuality by the single is a grave sin seems thin.

It is possible for something to be true, without being explicitly stated in the Bible. It seems clear to me that the Bible does not explicitly and directly answer this question... But also it seems to me that the connection between healthy sex and love, in Christian theology, is a strong one.

 

[livi85]

in youth group they used a visual to help describe this

the leader put a piece of tape on someones arm. when pulled off it stuck very well and was hard to pull off. then he put it on someone elses arm. when he pulled this one off it came off easier and the bond wasnt has good. the more times he did this the weaker the bond was between the tape and skin

this is an example of how having sex with someone then breaking up with them and having sex with other people lessens the bond and meaning in the act and maybe even relationship.

with this in mind, God gave us all free will to make our own decisions on the best of our knowledge. i feel that if you truely feel in love with someone and have no doubts that you should be together, then feel free to take your chances. just know the risks involved and what the consequences may bring later. you should have a strong solid relationship with the person and trust them completely before you do anything together

 

[Sopharos]

I think it can. Maybe not for all people, but for at least some people, it "wears the special off". Which is bad.

Well, doesn't do it with me. Sex is sex. Sex is fun. the spacial-ness of sex can sometimes wear off after a while (solved by a little sex-break), but true love is special, and never wears off.