I think i understand what Jase is talking about. I suffer from the same thing. i'm the type of person who doen't like "buddys". i like friends, people you can depend on, people you would die for, and people who would die for you...a brother or sister if you will. i've seen God's love, and that's why i'm able to see the full extent of relationships.
also, i try not to conform to the patterns of this world. if something is wrong or bad according to God. I don't do it. and on top of that, i am different. part of that's being a christian, part of it's me just being weird
. I've sometimes dreamt about heavan and how people will relate to others there. most churches don't offer that kind of relationship. most can't. since when did the qualifications for being one in christ with other believers excede the one qualification of knowing God through relationship. in other words, why are christians so ashamed of Christ that they need other grounds for friendship.....Christ is all i have, it's all i am. Why do christians require more of me? i think that's what he's trying to say. at least that's what i think.
and no, i'm not sad. Christ gives me peace, hope, and purpose...sometimes i feel like i'm the friend to everyone yet have none of my own. sad; but what am i supposed to do?
and no, i don't always do what he tells me. and when i don't is when i get depressed. i'm not perfect, i know i'm a depraved wretch. i know that sometimes i don't try when i should. soon, it gets hard for me to hear his voice, then i get depressed, come back, feel better as ever, the cycle of learning continues. But even if i could trade what i have now for all the fame and friends in teh world, i wouldn't. though, Satan is powerful in that regard. He's good at making us forget. i remember that i forgot because i remembered it again when i came back to him.
anyway that's what i think. sorry for rambling on.
God bless
