Hello everyone. I hope you all had a blessed weekend. I wanted to start a thread that discusses dating, courtship, relationships in general and the key factors that come into play when choosing an appropriate suitor.
For those of you who read my posts you will notice that I have a boyfriend. It's nothing serious, really. In all honesty we haven't had sex and I don't intend to with him. In fact, this afternoon I am troubled because tonight I am going to suggest that he and I just be friends.
When I first met this guy he was very sweet and compassionate. Funny and intellectual. The problem? I'm not physically attracted to him. I have a very specific type of man I am looking for. I also place physical appearance in high priority. Not to the point where I will only date men who look like models, but some element of physical attraction is crucial. How can you have a relationship with someone who almost repulses you to look at? How can you look towards the future with someone you're almost embarassed to be seen in public with? I think I realized this when I didn't want him to meet my family. He's short for a man, obese (and carries alot of that extra weight in his face), has allergic reactions to metal so he has to pull his jeans up high around his waist and tuck his shirts way in, and I'm just not physically attracted to him. He's just not physically appealing. Sure, I have dated heavyset guys before. My last serious relationship was with a big guy, but he carried the weight well and he was tall and dressed to flatter his shape. This guy doesn't and I find it to be quite the turn-off.
Aside from that he is younger than I am and everything is "uber" this and "that's the shiz". He even made the BIG mistake of using the phrase "GD" in front of my Christian parents. *zoiks!*. He also says "I'm sorry" for everything. He's also into LARP'ing which is live action role-playing games. He dresses up like a wizard and runs around in the woods with all of the other Trekkie geeks and the 40 year old virgins who still live with their parents and play Dungeons & Dragons every Friday night.
I just find it repulsive.
I am the city girl who attends art exhibits, book signings, and spoken word night at the local coffee house. I like Techno and Van Gogh. On Friday nights I like to sip Cosmopolitans at the local upscale pub wearing my Banana Republic pantsuit and Nine West high heels. I'm wordly, sophisticated. I never wanted children. I wanted a career. I never wanted the SUV. I wanted the sports car. I never wanted the house with the white picket fence. I wanted the loft apartment with the whitewashed brick walls and epoxied concrete floors and floor to ceiling windows. I don't want a guy who will tell me "oh man, this restaurant on the right has the best food." and I say "well, I'm kinda hungry" and he says "sorry. I'm broke".
The man I want espouses all of the qualities I'm looking for. He doesn't need to be rich or eye candy, but he needs to be financially stable and moderately attractive. I tried to look past his appearance and sure, he's a nice guy but I don't see myself falling in love with him and spending the rest of our lives together. If that's the case, then what's the point of dragging this on, prolonging the inevitable, staying in a relationship I know has an expiration date? Anyway, any advice is appreciated. Also, please share your opinion on how important certain "superficial" aspects are when choosing a partner.
For those of you who read my posts you will notice that I have a boyfriend. It's nothing serious, really. In all honesty we haven't had sex and I don't intend to with him. In fact, this afternoon I am troubled because tonight I am going to suggest that he and I just be friends.
When I first met this guy he was very sweet and compassionate. Funny and intellectual. The problem? I'm not physically attracted to him. I have a very specific type of man I am looking for. I also place physical appearance in high priority. Not to the point where I will only date men who look like models, but some element of physical attraction is crucial. How can you have a relationship with someone who almost repulses you to look at? How can you look towards the future with someone you're almost embarassed to be seen in public with? I think I realized this when I didn't want him to meet my family. He's short for a man, obese (and carries alot of that extra weight in his face), has allergic reactions to metal so he has to pull his jeans up high around his waist and tuck his shirts way in, and I'm just not physically attracted to him. He's just not physically appealing. Sure, I have dated heavyset guys before. My last serious relationship was with a big guy, but he carried the weight well and he was tall and dressed to flatter his shape. This guy doesn't and I find it to be quite the turn-off.
Aside from that he is younger than I am and everything is "uber" this and "that's the shiz". He even made the BIG mistake of using the phrase "GD" in front of my Christian parents. *zoiks!*. He also says "I'm sorry" for everything. He's also into LARP'ing which is live action role-playing games. He dresses up like a wizard and runs around in the woods with all of the other Trekkie geeks and the 40 year old virgins who still live with their parents and play Dungeons & Dragons every Friday night.
I just find it repulsive. I am the city girl who attends art exhibits, book signings, and spoken word night at the local coffee house. I like Techno and Van Gogh. On Friday nights I like to sip Cosmopolitans at the local upscale pub wearing my Banana Republic pantsuit and Nine West high heels. I'm wordly, sophisticated. I never wanted children. I wanted a career. I never wanted the SUV. I wanted the sports car. I never wanted the house with the white picket fence. I wanted the loft apartment with the whitewashed brick walls and epoxied concrete floors and floor to ceiling windows. I don't want a guy who will tell me "oh man, this restaurant on the right has the best food." and I say "well, I'm kinda hungry" and he says "sorry. I'm broke".
The man I want espouses all of the qualities I'm looking for. He doesn't need to be rich or eye candy, but he needs to be financially stable and moderately attractive. I tried to look past his appearance and sure, he's a nice guy but I don't see myself falling in love with him and spending the rest of our lives together. If that's the case, then what's the point of dragging this on, prolonging the inevitable, staying in a relationship I know has an expiration date? Anyway, any advice is appreciated. Also, please share your opinion on how important certain "superficial" aspects are when choosing a partner.
