Seriously Confused...

[seekingsomething]

I could really do with some thoughts and prayers right now. I have been going out with the most amazin man for the past two months. We have known each other for five years and have been looking at us in a relationship way for about a year now. We have always got on really well. We got to know each other from school, although he is older than me (22,im 18). We contacted each other by email and phone until last year when we started meetin up a lot. We have always had a laugh, talked seriously, like the same things and are both commited christians. We get along with each others friends and families and always make an effort for each other.

However, since we started going out things just havent been how we thought they would be. We have had some fantastic times but we have also been, not arguing, but not gettin on either at times. We have both had stress of exams and uni etc and we are both in the middle of moving homes. We got together prayfully and with God included but things just arent as i expected. Maybe thats the problem, expectations lead to dissapointment, but i thought i knew him. I was just wondering if anyone has been in this situation or know of people who have. Is it just a transitional period? Do you think God is saying 'no'? how do you know if He is or if it is just a rough patch? Anything is welcomed, help me think a little clearer.

Thank you in advance . Love in Christ x x x

 

[bliz]

First, it's ony been two months! You still don't know each other very well.

Second, there's a lot of stuff going on in both of your lives just now and that can have a big impact.

Third, despite how Hollywood and fairy tales make it seem, good relationships are not nothing but smooth sailing.

Fourth, if you care to share a little more about what you mean by "not gettin on" we could probably be more helpful.

 

[mathias1979]

I second everything bliz said. It may be too early to seriously be considering whether this is who you're going to marry. Give it time...just enjoy each other's company for a few more months and continue getting to know each other.

I definitely had periods of doubt when me and my fiance were dating. First off, it would be a good idea to throw your expectations out of the window. You will have wonderful times, and you will have times when you don't feel a warm fuzzy feeling inside for the other person. But what it comes down to is this, you decide to love someone. Love is not a feeling, but a decision. First you determine whether you are compatible with each other, next you decide whether or not you are willing to support and care for each other (even in hard times), then you just decide that you are going to love this person.

-Matt

 

[pegatha]

That's why two people spend time getting to know each other, so you can each see how the other one handles disagreement and outside stresses. Those are something all couples have to face, no matter how good their relationship is. Up till now you've had the fantasy of a relationship, but now you're learning about the reality. As long as there are no red flags (blatant disrespect, unrepented sin, etc.), then the best thing is to just take plenty of time before deciding whether to commit for life or call it off.

 

[nfinitefx]

Don't give up too easily. You might regret it. You've only been with him for 2 months. I mean that's when the relationship started right? So it hasn't been long. And I agree with bliz... in a relationship, it's not always smooth. It can't. There are times of ups and downs and when it's down, that's when the real test is. Can you both survive it? Whenever one of you feel down, the other shouldn't feel down but support the one feeling down. If you both feel down, try your hardest to support each other. Have faith and keep praying. If he's not the right one for you, God will tell you and you'll know about it. Don't worry, it is the first couple of months in a relationship that's rocky. Well at least that's what I've experienced.