Seriously Broken.

[SiobhanConlon]

I'm sorry to bother you all with a story... but im so hurt right now.

I was dating a guy for almost two years... we broke up a couple times in between... once was because he wanted to date other people... he had a crush on this girl lets say her name is Sally. But we got back together befire anything. Anyways... everything was fine... and he was about to start university, so he broke up with me claiming it wouldnt work. So this was about 6 weeks ago... and I gave him another chance last night. He said he made a mistake and he wanted to try again etc etc etc... and I took him back, aftert a few hours of love and bliss agian.. I decided to question him about the past few weeks. He lied to me over and over and I had to force the truth out.

He had sex with Sally. This girl who hurt and caused so many problems before. They had a fling. And It disgusts me. After two years of dating him and keeping our virginity sacred.... I still have mine! But near the end we wre discussing having sex, and he got scared. Understandable... but then he goes out and has sex with someone he doesnt even share love with. And she got a boyfriend, so he came back to me.

I was fine and strong being broken up... but after last night, after taking him back and getting close for a few hours... it disgusts me to know where his body has been. It disgusts me and shames me to have accepted him and his body back with mine. I never thought this would happen to me! I cant stop thinking about them together with eachother! It makes me sick!

I just need to be strong again.. Im done with him obviously, but after two years, where do i put those memories???? How can I harness this pain so I dont stay broken? How can I trust to love someone and share myself with them again?

I know you all cant fix what has happened... but thank you for listening.

 

[Kezith]

*HUGS*


It is so hard going through what you are at the moment - I was in a similar situation earlier this year, so I have an idea of how much you will be hurting right now. But you just have to remember and try to find God working in your situation and just trust in Him - give it all up to Him. You might possibly get sick and tired of hearing the same thing over and over again over the next few weeks/months but it is true.


You can get upset and you can angry - but you have to give it all over to God and just trust in him - if you spend too long with these emotions you can become an easier target for the enemy - anger can turn to hate and it can all just mess up your walk with God.

But using my situation as an example – if he hadn’t of cheated on me and hadn’t lied to me, I would have just had a harder time of letting him go and it would have just messed up my walk with God even more.


God uses every situation – even when at first you can’t see how, but we know that we are His children and that He loves us, and that He has a plan for our lives – and as hard as it may seem to be at the moment you will come out of this stronger – God has and will use this situation to make you into the person that He needs you to be.

The other thing is that in time you will learn to love and trust others, but you need the time to yourself for a bit in most situations.

Re-reading your story you seem to be in a very similar situation to what I was in – so feel free to PM me about anything.

I am praying for you and I hope that find someone that you can talk to about all of this.

God bless.

 

[silentpoet]

I can't say I directly know what exactly you are going through, but I do know a thing or two about suffering. I know how bad pain can get. I know how much my heart can ache. It takes grace and time. Grace more so than time, because without God changing it, all the time in the world will not heal your hurts. I can't say how to trust because I don't know how to do so. I think it involves effort. With my relationship with God, I just do my best to try and trust Him. Some days I do better than others. There are no easy answers, life involves a lot of suffering. It is part of how God works on our souls, our beings to make us more like Him and more suited to spending eternity with Him. I know it is not really any comfort, but God will see you through this and use it to make you a better person and better suited to the man He has ready for you.

 

[Anti Existance]

You are a fool for taking someone back who puts you on second row in his life. You don't want to be with a guy for who you are 'second best' you have to be his nr.1 and you have to have him as your nr.1 choise. If that's not the case then its only to wait either for him or you till someone 'better' comes along and jump out of the relationship, your just a fish on his hook and an emotional support/backbone to who he can cry out when things go wrong, because hey if 'sally' isn't there, there's always a fool that will take him back which is you. He is simply abusing your love for him. And if you want to be a carpet being walked over front and back all over again be my guest. BUT you should know better say to yourself ' stop to here and no further ' exposing your heart is only safe when the exposed person loves you back, otherwhise you'll get seriously hurt and you are been driven crazy now by this guy. Im not a strong supporter of lightswitch relationships anyway. If you break up once, you have no garentee it will work out next time, you only have support in the fact that it won't work out, my advice' there are many fish in the sea' probably even better then him, i suggest you focus on someone else.

 

[SiobhanConlon]

Thank you all so much for your support and words. I am trying to let it lead me to a better place in my life. It's only been a couple days, so I am trying to be as strong as I can. Btw, Anti-Existence, I am not with him now. The moment I found out what he did, he was gone. I don't stand for that in my life... but it's the thought of them together.. it drives me sick. Also, the fact that he lied... and lied until I forced the truth from him. It's odd the way people change... and he did infact change.

 

[OakeyAngel]

I know your pain. I am going through something right now with my new husband that I hope you will never have to go through in your life.
I had the same situation back when I was 18. I remember feeling the same way. Picturing them together,feeling sick to my stomach. The pain was unbarable.
The strongest advice I can give you is to pray. Even though it doesn't feel like God is there with you, he is, and he does answer prayer. Maybe not as fast as you like, or the way you like, but he answers. And the pain does go away. ANd you do get stronger from it.
I will keep you in my prayers tonight. God does have a plan for you.
TAke care for now.

 

[SiobhanConlon]

I know your pain. I am going through something right now with my new husband that I hope you will never have to go through in your life.
I had the same situation back when I was 18. I remember feeling the same way. Picturing them together,feeling sick to my stomach. The pain was unbarable.
The strongest advice I can give you is to pray. Even though it doesn't feel like God is there with you, he is, and he does answer prayer. Maybe not as fast as you like, or the way you like, but he answers. And the pain does go away. ANd you do get stronger from it.
I will keep you in my prayers tonight. God does have a plan for you.
TAke care for now.

Thank you so much... and thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings with me. I really needed someone I could relate to. I hope things get better for you and your new husband.. and I hope your direction is clear. Thank you for your prayers. I will keep you in my prayers too.

 

[Lecarde]

I know the feeling of heartbreak....the wounds wont heal until you face the pain....when youre ready, ask God to heal your heart. I will pray for you.