Serious Depression

[kelijene]

Fighter, sorry to hear you're struggling with this. Depression is nasty, having overcome it myself I know how deceptive your thinking can be when in it. Get your Bible out and read it..the other posts here have good advice, Jesus IS the answer. Look to Him. For every negative thought you have, He has a positive truth for you. Read Ephesians, and every where you see 'you', substitue 'I'. Read it out loud, and make your reading a prayer. There's power in your spoken words, good or bad, make them GOOD, even if you don't really believe or feel it at first, just speak God's word, there's truth in it and it will set you free.
Praying for you

 

[Fightergraf]

Well, depression has got to be one of the worst things I have ever experience. The fact that my family like my Mum and Father will not take it seriously makes it worse; I have been trying very hard to get it of my mind. I do not think it is working though; right now I am utterly confused about almost everything. I feel that my Mum and Dad do not love me, It seems like everything I do always screws up and never works, I feel like a total failure.
I am sorry if I keep repeating myself but I do not know what to do. I feel so ashamed of myself for feeling as I do, I do not know why but it is getting worse every day. I am scared that I may commit suicide, I do not at this time but later on it mite come up. I not sure how I can be help, I pray everyday but I feel worse. I love God with all my heart, but I feel maybe I did something very bad and God is doing this because of it.

 

[Deamiter]

*deleted for stupidity* - Deamiter

 

[The Unforgiven]

I feel so ashamed of myself for feeling as I do, I do not know why but it is getting worse every day. .

Depression is not your fault, and you have nothing to be ashamed of. I am 45 years old and have been fighting depression since I was 29. I feel for you and your pain. I know it hurts. But it does get better. It always helps to talk to someone.
Please remember you are a member of a family here at Christian Forums. I have never felt as connected as I have here. Your emotions are valid because they are yours. I will pray for you and ask my study group to pray for you.

If you want to talk feel free to PM me.

 

[kelijene]

Well, depression has got to be one of the worst things I have ever experience. The fact that my family like my Mum and Father will not take it seriously makes it worse; I have been trying very hard to get it of my mind. I do not think it is working though; right now I am utterly confused about almost everything. I feel that my Mum and Dad do not love me, It seems like everything I do always screws up and never works, I feel like a total failure.
I am sorry if I keep repeating myself but I do not know what to do. I feel so ashamed of myself for feeling as I do, I do not know why but it is getting worse every day. I am scared that I may commit suicide, I do not at this time but later on it mite come up. I not sure how I can be help, I pray everyday but I feel worse. I love God with all my heart, but I feel maybe I did something very bad and God is doing this because of it.

I'm guessing your mum & dad really do love you, they maybe just feel kind of helpless. You said you were on meds so they took it seriously enough to take you to a dr.
Fighter, you are a child of the Most High God - He had a plan for you before he even made the earth. His Word says so. He would not punish you this way. Hang in there mate, there's people here praying for you

 

[Love-Able-1]

Hey,
I know how you feel babe. I've been depressed ever sinced I was 5 years old. I've been on medication about my whole life, and I always told myself that the medicine isn't working. And when ever I took my medication I always feel like a different person, and I didn't like that feeling. I felt like I was being forced into being somebody else.
Have you talked to your Youth Paster about how you feel? What people always told me was to always talk about my feelings and how I felt. But I told myself that it hurts to talk about it, and I don't want to remember how I feel. I just pushed it down and kept it deep inside of me.
I'm sorry that your mom thinks that it's just a teenage stage. Have you talked to her about this. I mean 'talk' not tell. Talk to her about how you are feeling?
I always thought that nobody loved me, and I just wanted to end it. People always thought I was always in a bad mood. I isalated myself from people. I would just hang out in my room and read depressing poetry. I'd write depressing and suicidle poems. I felt like nobody knows how I feel. I wanted to tell people, just let it out...but I was scared that they might think I'm crazy or I was lying and just trying to get attention.
I felt like I was dirt to everyone. I could never match up with my parents expectation. They always wanted GOOD grades. They always said "Education comes before everything." All my friends always had good grades and I could never match up to there standers. Everything I did, I always felt like I failed myself. I didn't have any self-esteam.
Just pray to God, and if you need anybody to talk to, I'm always here. You can write me or anything. I'm here to listen ok. I really want to help you through this.

YOU COULD NEVER WAIST MY TIME!​

God bless,​

Angela​

Hello, I just wanted to talk to somebody about my depression. I have had sever depression for about 4 years, I’ve been to the doctor, I have medication for it that has been shot up Milligrams wise. I have been taking it but does not seem to help a bit; I’m not sure what to do anymore.
My depression, It hits me all times of the day, it hurts very bad were I cry almost all day and feel offal. Even suicidal, I seem to not be able to escape from it, my doctor said that there’s not much else he can do for me right now at my age. But my Mum does not seem to be worried about it at all, she thinks it’s just a Teenage thing and it’s all in my head. She tells me to get my mind off of it, but the fact is I can not it’s there no matter what, I try not to cry around other people but it happens every once in awhile. My Mum believes that she should not be soft on me; I think she heard that from one of her friends that if you do, you will raise Irresponsible children.
My Father, I think does not know what to do since I understand he did not have a good time growing up because of family issues. Though, I do not think my dear Mum is trying to hurt me more on purpose, she just has a hard time understanding what I’m going threw.
The matter is that I’m so intimidated by other people, I feel lesser than others I feel like there is no hope for me. Since I am Home Schooled I don’t have really no friends but have much free time to read, I have been taking advantage of this but I feel left out. And my depression takes me and I just don’t have no one to talk to about it that will really listen, then I begin to wonder if every one is right and its just me and it is just all in my head.
I have no Confidence or Selfasteam in my self I have no Idea how to help my self with my depression. But I do know that I don’t think I can take it much longer, I feel everyday I’m getting closer and closer to the end. It feels that my Mum and my whole family does not care about me, I am so lonely I feel that nobody loves me. People have made jokes about me and my depression I try to ignore them but it always hurts me to hear someone say something of that matter. I have been branded by almost everyone I know has a “Negative Anti-Social Person” and I guess I am, but I don’t try to be, it just happens because of my depression.
Even if it’s because of my depression I still keep thinking that it’s my fault some how, deep down I feel it is. I try to keep things like “I’m just stupid and unattractive nobody really likes you” out of my mind but its still there, and it hurts so bad that I cant stop crying and the fact that im crying makes me feel even more pathetic. I really have no Idea what I should do anymore, I have thought of options such as suicide but I do not think I can do it. Right now posting this thread makes me feel even more pathetic, I feel that kids my age should not have problems like this therefore there must be something wrong with me.
I just can’t help my self and I need help badly; I just needed to get this off my chest thank you for all that are listening I am sorry if I have waisted anybody's time.

 

[Fightergraf]

I'm guessing your mum & dad really do love you, they maybe just feel kind of helpless. You said you were on meds so they took it seriously enough to take you to a dr.

Well, you see this is true but I have many other problems such as mitral valve prolapse that makes me have panic attacks very easily and all the time. Once I had up to 5 in one day, my Mum and Dad know about this but do not think it is no big deal.
And not to count some others, that I do not want to talk about, I have sat down several times with my Mum and Dad and it is like it goes threw one ear out the other. Then on occasions when I am crying really bad, they promise they will do something. But the next day I will ask if they have thought of anything and they act like they don’t remember are say they have forgot and/or they say, perhaps we should wait. I do not know what to do I guess they do not see it life threating so they blow it off.
The main thing is that when I am depressed, I am in a horrible and quite mood. Therefore nobody wants to be around me, even though they do not want to be around me anyway but it wipes out any chance. I think maybe I am just crazy like my whole family views me.

 

[kelijene]

The main thing is that when I am depressed, I am in a horrible and quite mood. Therefore nobody wants to be around me, even though they do not want to be around me anyway but it wipes out any chance. I think maybe I am just crazy like my whole family views me.

Fighter, you are not crazy, you are fighting an illness.
People don't want to be around you because they don't know how to be with you. With depression you don't 'think' like they do, and it is hard to deal with.

How often do you see your doctor? I mean the one for your heart? Perhaps next time you see him/her you could talk about it. Tell them some of the thoughts you have been having. Depression is a common thing encountered with long-term health problems, and your doctor would be familiar with it and able to help you - perhaps even talk to your parents for you.

And always remember that there are people here - praying for you and willing to listen any time. And never forget that God is always near, whether you feel it or not.

 

[Fightergraf]

The fact I do not act like everyone else... But people ask me why I am acting weird and crazy.
Well you see my doctor lives right next door to me; he thinks its just normal teenage symptoms. And the fact that my mum tells him that she does not think I need to be put on any stronger medicine. And she refuses my requests for counseling even when I am crying out for it, she thinks I am just seeking attention are something. I do not have no one on my side, maybe I am just seeking attention I really can not tell anymore, all I no is I am in pain and I can not stand it.
The other night while I was praying I started to cry and I did not stop cry until the next mourning. I cried threw the whole night my whole bed felt wet, my pillow was soak. I am so embarrass for crying that long, a 16 year old guy should not cry like this.

 

[Fightergraf]

Hello every one tonight I feel horrible, some days I feel some what ok. But it seems like I am getting very few of these good days, I am so confused and scared and feel like killing my self to tell you the truth.
I keep praying about this but it seems to not work. My Mum is completely ignoring me now, I am hurting and it does not seem to concern her. See, the fact that I have no friends to talk to about this makes it bad enough, but having your on Mum not want to, makes me feel worth less.
And now my Mum does not want me to talk to people on forums, I hate to disobey her but it is the only thing I have!

 

[HumbleBee]

Fighter...

All I can encourage you to do is read your Bible and put on praise tapes! A verse says as a man thinks so he is...meaning thinking so much about being depressed, will make one even more depressed...refocus on Jesus and that HE IS GREATER IN YOU than he who is in the world! Plead the power of His precious shed blood over your mind! And please do not listen to the devil a liar, who incites you with thoughts of d*****...rebuke him and SPEAK HOPE INTO YOUR HEART!

Psalm 62:5-8 Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God ; He is my mighty rock, my refuge.
Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to Him, for God is our refuge. Selah
John 10:10 Jesus said ...I have come that [YOU] may have life, and that [YOU] may have it more abundantly.

Romans 8:37-39 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

1 Corinthians 15:57-58 But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore...be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord.

Philippians 4:13 I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.

 

[avouer]

I wanted to let you know that there is help for depression. I was on a disability for several years due to chronic and severe depression.... I suffered most of my life in silence, thinking that I was lazy, full of self pity, lacked concentration, lacked personal government skills etc etc. Those of us who truely know what it is like to suffer this illness, struggle with isolation particularly in the church and more often than not, in our families...and that isolation must be overcome if we are to survive and thrive. I am so proud that you are reaching out here!!!
It took me alot of time to get healed of depression. I must tell you that that my personal healing takes place on a daily basis. I am no different than a diabetic who needs insulin to survive. I try to excercise routinely, eat well, watch my energies, and take medication when I am going through stressful periods. For me, these things keep me functioning. I pray for God's truth to enlighten me and to keep me and He has been faithful....Keep your faith in Jesus, but also, communicate the resulting effects of any medications you are taking to your doctor. This is very very important! You aren't crazy my dear friend, and you can overcome this very real disruption to your life. It takes time, effort, encouragement, and a willingness to communicate honestly with your parents and your doctors. If for some reason you are hesitant to speak to your parents about this, please call your therapist or your doctors office and trust the Lord to take care of the details. There is quality of life out there and it is very worth taking strides to get to it.
One other thing, you are in very good company. Have you read much about Lincoln, Churchill, or any number of other famous people who have battled with depression? Many talented and intensely creative souls struggle with this!

I will be holding you in my prayers. Please email me at my contact point if there is anything I can do for you?

Love in Christ,

Joan

 

[kelijene]

Fighter...

All I can encourage you to do is read your Bible and put on praise tapes! A verse says as a man thinks so he is...meaning thinking so much about being depressed, will make one even more depressed...refocus on Jesus and that HE IS GREATER IN YOU than he who is in the world! Plead the power of His precious shed blood over your mind! And please do not listen to the devil a liar, who incites you with thoughts of d*****...rebuke him and SPEAK HOPE INTO YOUR HEART!

Psalm 62:5-8 Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God ; He is my mighty rock, my refuge.
Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to Him, for God is our refuge. Selah
John 10:10 Jesus said ...I have come that [YOU] may have life, and that [YOU] may have it more abundantly.

Romans 8:37-39 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

1 Corinthians 15:57-58 But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore...be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord.

Philippians 4:13 I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.

Well said, Bee!
Fighter, I'm sorry to hear that you feel that your family is not hearing you. The positive thing about this is that you've no choice but to rely on Jesus, because God hears you, and when you read His word He puts the 'hope into your heart' like Bee said.
Read the scriptures, and pray, because He is "able to accomplish far more than all we ask or imagine, by the power at work within us"( Eph 3:20).
I know it is hard to do, but fight it! Speak His Word out loud!
I remember when I was fighting depression the pastor asked me to say "Jesus is Lord" and at first I could barely get the words out. But he got me to repeat it again and again, until I could say it purposefully. That night as they prayed I was healed - no more depression, after years I was finally free! Sing praises to God!
Remember that we care, and are willing to listen any time, and that we pray.

 

[Desolate_Fem]

Hello Fighter, I wanted to give you a few words of encourgement. I too have depression.
I have been fighting it since teen years. I have gone through many stages of it. One of the best pieces of advice I can give you is to find good Christian friends and talk with them. Talk about everything you feel, let it all out, and keep looking until you find someone that will listen. Keep talking and get it all out. Keep talking with everyone you can find. Don't worry about bothering them because it's you that is important. You are important to this whole world. Depression causes you to feel that no one cares. That's part of the depression. People that don't have depression do not understand. You should never be ashamed of anything. If you know you are doing right and have good Christian morals then you be brave and be the person you are. Don't be afraid. Everyone is different and everyone has different thoughts. Everyone's opinion can be right. You may need some couselling. You also need to get
involved with people and friends. Find some new hobbies and interest. You will get
stronger as you get older and wiser. Stick it out and you will be very proud of yourself. I will be praying and thinking of you. Your family I know loves you. Stand tall and be proud. God Bless you.

 

[Vollkommen Warrior]

Thank you God bless you, that made me feel better. Well you see, my Family is split in to many denominations, my Mum and Father are Baptist my Sister is a Calvinist and some of my Grandparents are Catholic.
I’m not sure what church I should go to, I normally go to my Parents Baptist church but I’m still not sure. I have done Research on all of the denominations but I’m not sure, but Thank you for everything.

The main thread throughout it all is Jesus. Cling to that and you will be just fine. Second, find ANOTHER doctor. It sounds like you have a chem imbalance that needs to be corrected. It's NOT your fault. It is most likely just the way you are made up. I dealt with this from the age of 10 with no meds for years because no one knew I was feeling terrible. It's more difficult but you can still make it through. I know what you are going through and you need to find another DOC who can try the right med. I am in my 30's now and doing very well and I had it the worst. You will too. THE KEY is to keep yourself busy, don't OVERTHINK everything. Realize that when you feel bad or get into to much over analysis or over thinking that it is the depression doing this and not you. Pm me if you think I can help you and God Bless.