It took me years to get to the place of love/forgiveness in the id. Some events that contributed:
1. Daily time with God
2. Bible studies to verify correct doctrine - was very important for my understanding
3. Fellowship with others - to bring out my own faults to deal with in addition to helping me learn to love
4. Emotional breakthroughs at times of retreat and renewal
5. Realizing how much God forgave me helped to more correctly assess my obligation to forgive others, as well as helping me to forgive myself
6. Realizing my own inability to love helps me to rely on God's Spirit to move me to loving actions
7. In all of this, the question 'does God really love me' gets answered, which is the satisfaction my id needs
I hope that I'm not being disheartening by saying it took years. Everyone has a different psyche with different needs.
May God bless you greatly.
TD